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Brother

Reply to Whipper

Added to the Roswell Slash Archive January 14, 2001

b r o t h e r,
written by whipper
disclaimers; nothing belong to me. the lyrics belong to toad the wet sprocket and michael and max are owned by some rich guy in hollywood, i think
warnings; sad...or at least i think so. this story was never beta'd and english isn't my first language so if you read this you can almost count on there being spelling and/or grammar mistakes. i'm already aware of it so there's NO NEED FOR ANYONE TO TELL ME, okay? i feel bad enough as it is without anyone telling me that my english sux as well. thanks for respecting that.
spoilers; independence day



i find my brother in there deep in my heart i find my brother in there hold in my arms i love you

i hold my breath every time i knock on his window; after more than seven years i'm still afraid that he will send me away, that he will ask me to leave

i hold my breath every time i knock on his window; and i pray to a god i never believed in that this time wont be the time when he ask questions that i can't, wont answer

i hold my breath every time i knock on his window; and first when i lay there on his floor, listening to his breathing and the 'tick tack' from his clock i manage to release it

and if I seem too quiet now there are no words to tell you how i love you

i'd die for him; but i'll never tell him that, he thinks to much and would put to much meaning into it

i'd die for him; because he let's me sleep on his floor, because he pretends to sleep when i cry at night, because he's the only one that knows me

i'd die for him; and there are days when i wish i could tell him, when i wish i had the words and the strenght, when i wish i didn't have to protect him from my love

i often feel like the prodigal son take all I need giving back none

he has given me so much; and all i can give him is myself

he has given the sky it's blue color and all i can do is to bring him my rain and my thunder

he has given me the meaning of the words family and brother and love, and all i can give him is a handful of dust and disappointment

our beauty shows in such different ways you're like the light behind the fog so soft but still you burn my eyes away

there are days when i never seem to be able to get warm, days when i walk around wrapped upp in one of max's old sweaters even thought i know the cold comes from inside

there are days when i can't keep my walls up, when i go to sleep without locking my door; hoping that hank will come in, hoping for a reason to allow myself to sleep on max's floor

there are days when i wish that i could crawl under max evan's skin and live his life with him

i find my brother in there deep in my heart i find my brother in there hold in my arms i love you and if I seem too quiet now there are no words to show you how i love you

i'm happy that my name is michael guerin because if it wasn't the name would be his; and along with my name he would have been given my life and my pain and my sorrows

i'm happy that my life is mine and not his; because it's the only gift i can give him, the gift of not being me, of not bearing my burdens

i'm happy that i'm the one who was left behind in the desert because the very thought of seeing him laying bleeding in the cold trailer makes me sick and fills my eyes with tears

so much has changed and so much has happened these years but still I find that you are waiting here we have a bond that nothing can change and still I find a peace of mind whenever I hear your name

our life has changed; the world has changed, he has changed...the only thing that remained the same was me

our life has changed; he has found liz and it scared me because i couldn't see now there could be any place for me in his life now

our life has changed; but to my surprise some things remained the same, the sleeping bag in his room, his closed eyes when the tears come and the tick tack from his clock

and if I seem too quiet now there are no words to show you how i love you

i'll never tell him how much i love him or how much i care

i'll never let him see me cry; not even in the cover of darkness

i'll never hurt him either, and i'll always be there for him, no matter what or when

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