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You're Not Alone (Olive's Instant Michael Mix)

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Added to the Roswell Slash Archive November 14, 2000

Title: You're Not Alone (Olive's Instant Michael Mix)
Author: Uriel
Fandom: Roswell
Pairing: Michael/Max
E-mail: uriel256@hotmail.com
Series: Instant Roswell Mixes, second chapter
Disclaimer: I don't own the song, I don't own the characters. I own ditlit.
Notes: Thanks of the bunches variety to Miri



In a way it's all
A matter of time
I will not worry for you
You'll be just fine
Take my thoughts with you
And when you look behind
You will surely see
A face you recognize

***

I found myself staring at him. We had agreed that we wouldn't let anyone know, but I kept losing myself whenever I looked into his eyes. I didn't have much self control when it came to normal things, but this was even worse. This was Max.

"Michael? Hello? Are you even listening to me?" Maria pestered jabbing me with her finger.

"Sorry. What were you-?" I began.

"Whatever, Michael," she growled and stormed off. Maria could be such a bitch sometimes.

"Maria!" I called after her. I sighed in exasperation as she disappeared into the school. She was really pissed at me now.

"Hey," Max said softly as he came up next to me. His mere presence made my problems with Maria feel not so important anymore.

"Hey," I replied, looking away from him quickly. His eyes bored into me. I couldn't bare looking at them without feeling myself being overwhelmed by my need for him.

"What's up with Maria?" he asked.

"Don't ask," I replied.

"I already did. Just tell me," he said.

"I don't know. I can't seem to pay attention, and she's getting all bitchy about it," I answered.

"Why can't you pay attention?" he asked. "I thought you liked listening to Maria talk for hours on end."

"I like Maria. The fact that she is incapable of shutting up is just something I deal with," I explained. "And you already know what's distracting me."

"I thought we weren't going to-" he began.

"I know, Max. I just can't stop thinking about it," I said quietly. I looked up. Big mistake. I was caught in his eyes. They pulled me in and swallowed me whole. They were two perfect pieces of raw swirling bronze that devoured my whole self. I lost my balance. He caught me in his wonderful arms, and I found myself pressing against his warm chest. I pushed back, realizing what I had done. I looked around. No one had noticed. "Sorry, Max." I looked away from him.

"We better go to class," he said. He left me standing there alone. A sudden emptiness filled me the moment he was out of sight.

"Class, right," I muttered quietly. I walked into the school and to class.

***

"Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, Michael?" the teacher asked. I looked up at her.

"What?" I asked.

"Mr. Guerin, please pay attention!" the teacher growled.

"Sorry," I muttered softly. I resumed staring at Max's reflection in the window. He scowled at me. Max was getting angry with me. I sighed.

***

You're not alone

I'll wait till the end of time

Open your mind

Surely it's plain to see

You're not alone

I'll wait till the end of time for you

Open your mind

Surely there's time to be with me

***

"Real low profile," he growled at me. The jeep picked up speed as Max's foot ground into the pedal. Isabel ignored us, bobbing her head with the music from the CD she was holding up to her ear.

"I'm sorry, Max," I said for the hundredth time. "But no one noticed it, so why does it matter? Why are you all uptight about it?"

"You're taking too many risks, Michael," Max said. "We're going to get caught."

"Why does that seem so familiar?" Isabel asked sarcastically.

"Shut up," Max growled.

"Why should I? Michael may be fine with you getting all high and mighty with him, but don't you dare try that on me, Max," Isabel growled angrily.

"Shut up, Isabel," Max repeated.

"No. You're being an ass," Isabel said with an angry scowl. This sent my mind wandering to the subject of Max's... lower back. Right. Lower back.

"Drop it, Isabel," I said. She looked at me. Her eyes plainly expressed her dismay and frustration. "And I said I was sorry, Max. Let's jus change the subject."

We rode the rest of the way too the Evans' home in silence.

***

The moment the door to Max's room closed Max pounced on me. His hands were everywhere, and his eyes were drilling their way through me. I got lost in his eyes again. I almost got trapped.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I asked, snapping out of it. I pulled away from him. I wanted him so much, I didn't want him at all, I wanted him to touch me, I wanted him to never touch me, I loved the feel of his skin against mine, and I hated it all at once. I was so confused.

"What do you mean, Michael?" he asked backing off. "I've waited all day." All of my mixed feelings solidified into a single emotion. Rage. Rage at the fact he could be so callous, at the idea that Max was just taking advantage of me, that he just wanted to get a happy and he wanted to get it right now.

"No way, Maximilian. You've spent the whole day being a jerk," I answered angrily. "You're not getting anything from me." I stormed out of the room and down the hall. I opened the door to Isabel's room.

"What?" she asked, looking at my reflection in her mirror.

"Take me home," I said.

"Michael-," Max said pulling at my arm.

"Don't touch me," I growled at him yanking my arm out of his grasp. "Isabel, please, take me home."

"Okay, Michael," she said. She turned on her heel, and the two of us walked out, leaving Max alone.

***

It is the distance

That makes life a little hard

Two minds that once were close

Now so many miles apart

I will not falter though

I'll hold on till you're home

safely back where you belong

And see how our love has grown

***

"So what happened?" she asked as the jeep sped along the highway.

"Nothing. He can just be so selfish sometimes," I muttered.

"That's Max. It's why he healed Liz, it's why he's Valenti's target instead of us," she replied. "He's the center of the universe. Or at least he thinks he is." I flicked on the radio.

The singer on the radio sang softly, to a slow techno mix.

***

I walked into the little trailer park as Isabel drove away. Home. That's what this place was supposed to be. The familiar faces of the rest of the trailer trash and rejects of society drifted by as I made my way to the one in which I lived.

***

You're not alone

I'll wait till the end of time

Open your mind

Surely it's plain to see

You're not alone

I'll wait till the end of time for you

Open your mind

Surely there's time to be with me

***

"Hey," I muttered as I opened the door. No response came back, which didn't seem that strange at first. I walked over to the little kitchenette fridge and opened it. Nothing. "There's no food." This comment should have gotten a response. Again silence. I looked around. He wasn't here. I was alone. All alone. This was too much.

I collapsed on the little couch, so that if he came back he wouldn't notice I had been crying. I fell asleep there.

***

"Michael, I'm sorry," Max said softly.

"Get out of my dream, Max," I growled.

"I'm sorry," he repeated before fading out. I suddenly started think about all the why's. Why was Max being a jerk? Why did I want to be with him? Why didn't I want him to touch me? Why was I so scared? Why had everything changed?

"Max?" I called softly.

"Yeah, Michael?" he answered reappearing.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because," he answered.

"Oh," I whispered. I reached out to touch him. He slowly pulled me against him. He let me take control.

I wasn't alone. I was terrified, but I wasn't alone anymore.

***

You're not alone (you're not alone)
I'll wait till the end of time
Open you mind (open your mind)
Maybe there's time to be with me
You're not alone (you're not alone) I'll wait till the end of time (you're never alone)
Open your mind (open your mind)
Surely there's time to be with me (wait till the end of time)
Baby there's time for me and you (and you and you and you)

***

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