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Denial of Discoveries, Part One (Instant Isabel Original Mix)
Reply to Uriel or visit his websiteAdded to the Roswell Slash Archive November 14, 2000
Title: Denial of Discoveries (Instant Isabel Original Mix)
Summary: Isabel has reservations about Alex
Archive: You know who you are, I know where it's going
Series: Instant Roswell Mixes
Disclaimer: I still haven't managed to acquire them. Maybe I need more money (I don't have any though, so that ain't gonna happen).
Michael was staring at the stage. Max was staring at Liz. Liz was staring at the stage. Maria and Alex were onstage with the rest of their band. Maria was a surprisingly good singer, and Alex looked really good playing that bass.
I sighed sadly. Why was life so complex these days? Everything used to be so simple. We only had one secret. No one else knew it. It didn't take much effort to avoid attracting attention. Everything was easy. I didn't have to worry about Max and Liz going to far. I didn't have to worry about Michael getting to close to Maria. I didn't have to worry about Michael and Max getting caught making out. I didn't have to worry about Alex showing up on my doorstep with flowers.
Not that I didn't like getting flowers, especially from someone like Alex, but he just wanted so much from me. I did not want to end up lovesick and screwed up like Michael and Max.
But Alex did look really, really good playing that bass.
I had to get out. I had to get away from Alex.
I sat in the jeep, trying to regain my composure.
"What's up?" Michael asked. I jumped in surprise.
"Don't sneak up on me!" I snapped at him. A smile pulled at the edges of his mouth.
"Tell me," he insisted, sitting down next to me.
"I'm not going to end up like you and Max," I said plainly. He gave me a funny look.
"What?" he asked.
"Both of you! You're complete lovesick fools, and I'm not gonna be one too!" I said defensively. He looked taken aback.
"What's wrong with being a lovesick fool?" he asked. "You might be happier."
"Max isn't happier," I pointed out.
"Max is being stubborn," Michael replied. "He won't tell Liz how he feels, and he's being stupid."
"Did you tell Maria how you felt?" I asked. He paused for a moment.
"Well... no, but-" he said.
"See? You're completely screwed up. I'm not going there," I said firmly.
"Isabel, you can't just decide not to-" he began.
"Yes I can," I growled.
"Hey," Max said as he walked over to the jeep.
"Why aren't you with Liz?" Michael asked.
"The set ended, so she went backstage," Max explained.
"The set's over? I'll be back.... in a little while," Michael said quickly. Max and I shared a quick smile as Michael bolted back inside the building.
"So, what's up with you?" Max asked. I sighed.
"I'm not falling in love with Alex," I said. He raised his eyebrow. "I've decided that I'm not going to fall in love with Alex."
"Isabel, you can't just decide-" Max began.
"I can too!" I shouted. I stood up in the jeep. "I can!" I jumped out of the jeep and walked away as quickly as my legs could carry me.
"Hey," someone said. I spun around. It was Alex. Alex who was beautiful. Alex who I was NOT falling in love with.
"Hey," I answered.
"Can I sit with you?" he asked.
"Sure," I muttered noncommittally.
The two of us sat there for a long time, not talking. It was a comfortable silence. Then he spoke.
"Isabel, I was wondering..." His voice trailed off as I turned to look at him.
"Alex, I can't," I said.
"You mean you won't," he replied, a hint of bitterness slipping into his voice.
"Okay. I won't. I'm not going to. It's not going to work," I said, losing some of my original conviction in the idea.
"Okay," he said softly.
"I'm sorry," I offered.
"Don't be," he replied. We stood up together and began to walk back.
I walked across the parking lot, my heels clicking on the cold asphalt. The jeep was still where I had left it. Good. They hadn't ditched me.
Michael and Max were sitting in the jeep, making out. I rolled my eyes. Why couldn't they control themselves until they got back to Max's room?
I climbed into the jeep. That's when I saw her. Maria. Poor Maria.
"Stop," I hissed. Max and Michael looked up at me. "Maria." Michael's whole body went rigid as he saw her. She was sobbing uncontrollably..
"Ah shit," he swore quietly. He jumped out of the jeep and ran towards her. He leaned over her saying the same thing over and over again. "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry" Max looked up at me with his eyes that were shining with tears he would never shed.
"I screwed it up," he whispered. "I ruined it. Again. It's all my fault."
"Come on, Max, pull yourself together," I said. "We're going to have to have a talk with Maria." The two of us walked over to her.
I pulled Maria out of Michael's arms. "It's going to be okay, Maria. I'll explain everything," I whispered into her hair. She pressed against me, still crying. I walked her over to the jeep and sat her down. "Calm down, Maria." She slowly stopped crying. "Okay, Maria. Listen carefully to me. Michael loves you. Do you understand that?"
"But he was-" she protested, the tears beginning to well back up in her eyes.
"Michael loves you. He may not be able to say it to you, but he does," I said confidently.
"Then why-?" she asked.
"He loves Max too," I explained. "Just look at them." I pointed over at the pair of boys. Michael had broken down and started crying. Max held him tight, not letting him slip away.
Maria stared at them, focusing all her attention on them.
"I don't want to share him," she said harshly. This caught Michael and Max's attention. They looked at her.
"I'll do anything," Michael whispered. "Don't leave me." Max looked away from them, hiding his tears. A flash of clarity hit me. Max wouldn't be able to handle losing Michael at this point. Max would do something stupid. I had to do something.
"Maria, please," I said softly. "Don't make him choose."
"Why not?" she asked, her voice still harsh from her tears.
"Because he'll choose you," Max said.. His voice was wavering with suppressed despair. Max spun around to face Maria. "Don't take him away from me. Don't take Michael away too." His eyes were glazed over and wild. What would he do if he lost Michael? What if he tried to hurt himself? Would I be able to stop him?
"Okay," she whispered. "It's okay. I don't know what we're gonna do about this, but I won't make you choose, Michael." I could almost feel the relief coming from the two boys. They smiled at her. In response her face went limp and relaxed.
"We'll take you home," I said, sitting down in the jeep next to her.
"Okay," she said softly.
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