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Stupidity...My Love for You, Chapter Three

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Sent to the Roswell Slash Archive June 14, 2002


        "I...I have to leave Michael...I can't stay in Roswell anymore" I gushed out as I grabbed his arm and once again tried to make him leave.

        "Does this have anything to do with Max" he questioned as he cemented his feet firmly on the floor thwarting my attempts to get rid of him.

        "No..." I lied averting my eyes so he could not see the tears that were again forming in my eyes. "I just have to go"

        "Kyle...I know about you and Max. I know that you have been having this secret love affair for the last couple of years and I know that you know about Liz and her being pregnant. I also know that you and Max are no longer together...and that the reason that you are leaving Roswell is because of what he did to you"

        "You knew...how" I questioned as I stopped averting my eyes and stared into his truth filled ones.

        "Yes...I knew. I've known for years now...but it wasn't my place to question why you were keeping it all in secret. Why Max was dating Liz and then sneaking around with you. None of that mattered to me...all that mattered was that you and Max were making each other happy...but then just recently I realized something"

        "What" I questioned...wiping at my oozing tears.

        "Max was the only one that was happy in this relationship and why shouldn't he have been...he was getting it on all ends. "I would look at you and you would put on this great show...convincing all of us that you were happy and everything in your life was grand...but I could see it in you eyes just how untrue those actions were. He's hurt you on more then one occasion...and"

        "Michael...please don't" I whispered...sitting down on the lawn chair that I had been using for furniture since shipping my belongings off to my new place in California. "It's over now. I just need to leave Roswell and all the memories that it holds for me and start a new life somewhere else"

        "I understand and I agree with you whole heartedly" he said sitting crossed legged on the floor before me. "So...you gonna tell me where your going or am I going to have to use my alien powers and find out the hard way because if you think that for one minute that I am going to let the best friend I have every had just up and leave without telling me where he is going then you better think again"

        I had to smile at Michael's words. It was true on my end as well. He was in fact the best friend that I had ever had and still is to this very day and I knew that I would never forgive myself if I just let him drift out of my life. "I'll tell you everything...but first you have to promise me that you will never tell Max or anyone for that matter where I have moved to...or why"

        "Kyle...you have kept my secret for the last five years and I can guarantee that your secret will never leave these lips"

        Again I had to smile at his words and so I told him everything...everything from Max and our first night together to every heart-breaking thing he did to me in those four years. I also informed him of all the Preparations for my new life. Everything had been in motion for months before hand and I had to admit that I was more then a little happy to leave Max and all the heartbreak associated with him behind. I had graduated college four months earlier and had received a degree in early childhood education. I had always loved kids and I knew that I wanted to work with them in my future...so I chose teaching for my intended career. I may not have cared much for high school...but college was different. In college I flourished and graduated with honors at the top of my class. Several schools had contacted me with offers to teach in their schools...and yet I had turned each and everyone of them down due fully to the fact that they were all in other states and that would mean that I would have to leave Max and at that time it was not an option for I knew that he would never leave with me and I was not willing to lose him for anything...not even my career. That was all about to change...everything in my life was about to change...change more then I would have ever expected or at the time wanted.

        Michael saw me off my final day in Roswell. He took the day off from the Crash Down and spent it with me. I was a wreck...and on more then one occasion I picked up the phone and attempted to call Max. I just wanted to hear his voice one last time...wanted to tell him that I loved him once more time in hopes that he would realize that he was about to lose me and beg for me to take him back. I wanted him to know that no matter what it was that he had done to me in the past that I would always love him...but Mike being the great friend that he is thwarted each and every attempt. I lost count as to how many times I cried on his shoulder that day...but he just held me and allowed the sorrow and pain to overtake me. Somewhere along the line Michael became more then just a friend to me...he became a brother. We were thrown together due to his alieniness and somewhere along the line we became closer then I have every been to another non-sexual male. I love him...he will always be part of my life and when he informed me that he was moving to California and had a little surprise in store for me...I was more then a little ecstatic...but that is another part of the story.

        California....

        To say that living in California was different from living in Roswell is one of the biggest understatements ever spoken. It was the complete opposite of what I was used to...the clothing...the way people talked to each other...even the driving was different. The only thing that wasn't different was my loneliness. I was so lonely at the beginning that I could barely get through a day without losing it. My phone bill was astronomical...and on the meager teachers pay I was making it was really hard to make ends meet most months. Michael was my only link to my past...and to Max. Yes...I still...even after all his did to me thought about Max on a constant basis. I would call Mike just about every night those first few months desperate to receive any crumb of news on Max and his life without me. Each time Mike would get mad at me and tell me that I had to move on and meet someone else...but I kept telling him that I wasn't ready...and I wasn't...and then one night for the first time in months I felt differently.

        I was tired of sitting at home night after night in my cramped apartment staring at the TV...as thoughts of Max continued to invade my head. It had been almost a year and I was still mooning over a man that used me in the worst of ways...and finally I was determined to do something about it. It was hard...but I forced myself to leave the sanctuary of my apartment as I made my way dressed in a form fitting oxford shirt and the tightest pair of ass hugging jeans that I owned to the nearest gay bar. I was amazed how open the gay community was here...it was truly awe inspiring and I for once in my life was proud to be gay. In Roswell I had to keep my sexuality in secret...but here I could be as I wanted to be and that gave me the confidence to enter the doors of the bar that would forever change my life in a way that I could have never expected.

        The bar was unlike anything I had ever seen before. It was smoky and dark and the music was loud and pumping. There were men of all races and sexual types all around me and as strange as this sounds...I finally felt like I was someplace where I belonged. There was your racy gay men...you know the ones that are gay and you can't help but know that they are for they make sure that you know that they are...there were a few drag queens and I have to admit that when a Brittany Spears look alike with huge fake boobs and bouncing adams apple asked me if he could buy me a drink...I almost toppled over in laughter. I did however control my outbursts as I kindly turned him down as I plopped myself onto an empty bar stool and ordered a beer. Next came the chain laidened gay biker...who basically told me that I was going to be his sex slave and I didn't have any say in the matter. I was a bit frightened as I looked into his dark hollow eyes...and then to his huge protruding beer belly...but I quickly turned on the charm and told him thanks but no thanks. He didn't want to take no for an answer...but the guy sitting besides me whispered something in his ear and he backed away without a second glance in my direction.

        "I don't know what you said to him...but let me buy you a beer as a thank you" I hollered over the roar of the music and the crowd behind us.

        "First time" he asked...a huge grin plastered on his face.

        "Is it that noticeable" I asked...as I turned to face him fully as to for once in a long time have a full fledged conversation with someone just like me...or who appeared to be just like me. He was handsome...deep brown eyes...so much like Max's that it took me aback for a brief second. "Kyle Valenti" I said shaking off the images of Max that were trying to control me again as I extended my hand towards my new friend.

        "Robert Vanderbilt" he replied loudly as he grasped my hand tightly in a manly like grip.

        "Nice to meet you" I continued as held up two fingers towards the bartender indicating that I wanted another round of drinks. The rest of the night was going quite smoothly as Robert and I continued to get to know each other...however drink after drink I noticed that he seemed to be getting closer and closer to me. At first I didn't think much of it...but when his hand reached under the bar and grasped my member roughly in his hand...I couldn't help but spit my drink all over him. "Lets go to my place...now" he groaned drunkenly as he gave my dick a painful squeeze...causing a yelp to omit from my startled lips. "I want to @#%$ your cherry ass like you have never been @#%$ before" I couldn't believe the bluntness of this man as I tried to remove his cemented hand from my painfully sore @#%$...sore from the constant pressure that he continued to apply upon it. I don't know how I managed to get away from him...but I finally did and came face to face with a pair of eyes that literally took my breath away...caused my heart to pound savagely within my chest and before I knew it I was in his arms...kissing him like there was no tomorrow...and then reality hit.

Continue to Part Four

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