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Sea of Love
Reply to StormyBear29 or visit her websitePosted to the RoswellSlash mailing list May 1, 2003
Title: Sea of Love
Couple: Kyle and Alex
Summary: its Kyle and Alex...do you really need to have a summary...hee hee!!! Love found...it's all you need to know. :p
Disclaimer: I don't own anything pertaining to Roswell or related companies.
"You're doing this..."
"I just don't feel comfortable"
"I don't care...your doing this"
"It's too much money"
"Give them your card Valenti"
"I need to think about this some more before I...HEY"
"He'd like to sign up for the four day gay cruise that you have to offer" Alex spoke to the clerk sitting behind the desk as he handed her the credit card he had just stolen from my hand
That was the way that it always was in the beginning. He was the strong and bossy best friend of mine...who always seemed or thought he knew what was best for me. I on the other hand was the unsure...always afraid to try something new friend to him and despite that we were as close as two friends could be. We had met our freshman year in college and became fast friends from the get go. I wasn't instantly attracted to Alex...far from it...but as the years passed and I got to know the real person...I fell long and I fell hard. He...however always seemed to oblivious to my attraction towards him and after a year of mooning over him I finally decided to move on and find someone someplace else.
I found someone alright...someone that used me...lied to me and cheated on me whenever the opportunity presented itself and like Alex to my love for him...I was oblivious to the hurtful things that Sean constantly did to me. I loved Sean...or I thought I did as I endured his lies and excuses...but Alex was having none of it when after a year of me crying on his shoulder he gave me an ultimatum. "Either you end it Kyle or I am ending our friendship...permanently" I was stunned... upset and more then a little pissed off that he was willing to put our friendship on the line for something as trivial as Sean's constant hurtful ways and so I did the one thing that I thought was best for me...I ended my friendship with him. I know what you are thinking...and your right. I wasn't man enough to think that I could stand on my own two feet without Sean by my side and so I let the most important person in my life go without a second glance. I was miserable without Alex to fall back on...but in my head I kept telling myself that I had Sean and that was all that mattered...but that all came crashing down around me on the night that I paid an unexpected visit to my lover and found him in bed with not one...not two...but three other men.
I was devastated as I stood silently in the doorway of his apartment as one man fucked him from behind...while another sucked him off from the front. I must have stood there for what felt like hours...but I am sure as only minutes until one of the men looked over and spotted me there. "Well don't just sit there like a statue" he leered lustfully at me as he looked me over from top to bottom. "Get those fucking clothes off and get over here and start fucking" Again I was too stunned to move or do much of anything as Sean finally turned around as he noticed me for the first time standing there gaping like an open mouth fish and all he could do was shrug his shoulders before turning back towards the man sucking his dick. Tears flooded my eyes as I finally got some sense of myself back and I bolted. I was crying so hard and so fast that I could not see anything in front of me...but I didn't need to see for I knew exactly where I was going.
"Kyle...what's wrong" I heard him question fearfully as I banged my fist upon his closed door until he opened it. I didn't speak a word... I couldn't for the lump wedged deep within my throat would not allow me and so I just clung to him. I clasped my arms around his thin body and would not let go until I woke up the following morning. I woke up with a start as I tried to figure out just where the hell I was as I looked around the cluttered apartment...but reality quickly came into play as I looked upon his sleeping figure besides me and the events of the previous night washed brutally over me once again. "Shhh..." I heard him whisper as he rubbed my back in small soothing circles. "It's going to be ok Kyle. I promise you that...it is going to be ok" I once again couldn't speak as he wrapped his other arm around the front of my chest as he lead me back against the softness of his bed...holding me tightly against his body as I allowed the pain and suffering I had been harboring inside to come out.
It was days before he really pushed me to tell him what had happened and despite the fact that he could have been mean and spiteful with many "I told you so's" added in for his benefit...he did none of those. He was patient and loving as I retold the horror of that night and his understanding proved to be my salvation as he promised me that he would be there for me always...despite what a knuckle head I was when I almost let his friendship go. I had to laugh at that...for it was such a typical Alex thing to say. I think it was that very night that I began to realize that I was truly head over heels in love with Alex...but still so very afraid to even try to pursue anything more then friendship.
Another year had passed and I was still no closer to revealing my feelings for him...plus the fact that he was involved in a pretty serious relationship at the time didn't help. I was devastated when he first started dating Jesse. Jesse was a sweet and thoughtful man that cared for Alex very much. You could see it in his eyes each time that he walked into a room...could see it in the soft caresses and words of love that he used to dispel on him quite liberally whenever they came together. Was I jealous...of course I was. I was so jealous that I could not think straight not only because Jesse was this great man and I was in dire need of a great man...but because I wanted it to be I...not Jesse that I wanted Alex to return his affections to. As luck would have had it Jesse got a promotion with his law firm and was being sent to Boston. He had asked Alex to go with him and he seriously debated it for weeks before he gave him an answer. I had been suffering right along with Alex as he tried to make the correct decision...but for completely different reasons. I wanted him to be happy...but I knew that if he moved to Boston with Jesse that things between us would never be the same again...and so I prayed like hell that he would make the decision to stay and he did.
I ran into Jesse that evening as he was leaving his apartment and by the look of pure upset upon his face I knew that Alex had indeed made his decision and it was one that I was going to love. "Please Kyle... take care of him" he whispered as he tried to control the tears I could see glistening in his eyes. I promised that I would as I tried not to run towards the man that I was going to declare my love to once and for all. Yes...I had finally made up my mind to tell Alex the truth even though I knew the timing was bad for I had waited far to long to tell him. Once Jesse was out of sight I literally raced up the stairs as I bounded in through the door...only to stop dead in my tracks as I found the love of my life sprawled out on the floor sobbing in such a way that it shattered my heart into a thousand pieces. All thoughts of expressing my love to this man flew out the window at that moment as I rushed to his aide...like he had done to me months before and held him until he could cry no more. It turned out that Jesse was the one that had in fact made the decision for Alex and it was one that nearly killed my best friend. He had told Alex that he didn't think that Alex was fully ready for the kind of relationship that he was looking for. At the time it didn't make a lick of sense to me since Alex was gaga over Jesse and had been from the first moment that he had met him...it was only months later as we lay in bed together one night that it finally made all the sense. Weeks later as we were drinking coffee in our favorite coffee house was when Alex got it into his head that we needed some adventure and excitement in our lives. After the night that Jesse left him he has sworn off men forever...which buried all ideas of divulging my undying love for him yet again. Yes...he had sworn off men...but he infact was a man and had needs so he liked to tell me and as he read the advertisement from the local gay paper to me I could see just what kind of needs he needed filling. The ad was for a gay cruise ship that was making her maiden voyage in a few short weeks. It tried to make it sound like it was strictly on the up and up...but I had heard about things like this before and I knew that it was going to be nothing more then a fuck fest on water. I quickly declined as I tried to laugh it off...but Alex was insistent that we go and we go together. At first I was stunned...he wanted me to go with him on a cruise...me...Kyle the man that had been in love with him for years and it caused my heart to swell. However...it quickly deflated at his next words. "Think about it Kyle...a ship full of horny...gay men...even you can get lucky on that ship" I wanted to cry...wanted to run away from this man that had no idea just how much he was killing my heart with his nonchalant words...but how could I because up to the point in time he had no idea that I even had feelings for him like that. It was that very same day that he dragged me to the cruise office and basically forced me to purchase that ticket to sin and heartbreak.
The day was down cast and the waters choppy as we boarded the immaculate cruise liner. It was the perfect day for it matched my down cast and choppy mood for I had been dreading this day from the first moment I had bought my ticket. Alex was standing besides me jumpy and jittery as we waited to board and making sure to check out every single man that looked our way. Earlier that morning after we had packed the car and were on our way he had informed me that he had a plan to bed as many men as he could in the fours days that we were to be abroad and that he wanted us to come up with a signal just in case one of us got lucky. I didn't want to think up any signals...hell all I wanted to do was hide in the comfort of my cabin while the love of my life scowled the surface for as many men as he could fuck. "Whatever dude" I spoke in sarcastic tones as I threw the car in park and headed for the marina. "You know Kyle" he spoke as he sat beside me. "This is a great thing we are doing here. Think about this for a minute...you are a man who hasn't had sex in almost a year. On this cruise you can fuck anyone and everyone that you want with no lingering regrets. You are such a handsome man...with a great body to boot and trust me when I tell you this...you will have no trouble what's so ever finding some one...or someone's to fuck you senseless" I just looked at him at that time...for the words I wanted to scream at him would just not come and in truth in the mind set he was in it would not have mattered.
Within a matter of a few hours we had boarded the boat and got settled into our stateroom. I was amazed at how nice the room really was...but all that Alex was in awe of was what appeared to be a never ending supply of various condoms. "Holy shit..." he exclaimed as he sifted through them as well as the numerous tubes of lube there. I knew this trip was going to be a bad idea...but as he continued to ogle the stash he had found I knew that it was actually going to be worse then anything that I could have imagined...but the really amazing thing was that it was not. "Lets get out there and start to mingle" he said after he got over his fascination with the condoms. "We have lots of men to meet and lots of men to fuck before our trip is over"
"Yeah...whatever" I whispered behind his back as I followed him out the door of our room as he lead us to god knows where. We ended up in the dining room first as we sat at a table ready set for a few others and us. As before Alex was nearly jumping out of his skin as we waited for the other guests to join us...but he got even worse when two strappingly handsome men sat down and introduced themselves. "Hey I'm Michael Guerin" one of them spoke in a deep sensual voice. "And this is my partner Max Evans" he indicated towards the man standing silent beside him whom was checking me out from head to tail.
"Alex Whitman and this is Kyle Valenti" I heard Alex speak vaguely beside me as I continued to play the staring game with the handsome hunk before me. Max was absolutely that most amazing looking man that I had ever seen before in my life. He was tall...dark and handsome...with a body that just screamed out to be touched. I was immediately smitten with him from the first moment that I met him. He was like some dream god in vibrant and glorious color...but as with all dreams reality quickly comes into play and as soon as he began to speak it all vanished in a second.
"So are you and Kyle here lovers" he questioned Alex as he continued to gape at me...causing a full-bodied blush to rage over me for I could literally feel him undressing me with his eyes.
"Kyle and I lovers...hell no" he answered with a laugh that quickly pissed me off as I looked at the way he was then gaping at the one known as Michael. "Where just friends"
"Perfect" he grinned as he glanced momentarily at Alex...but quickly brought his full attention back to me. "Well why don't we all order some grub and get to know each other a little bit" Michael spoke... breaking the lock that Max had on me as he placed his arm around his partner...whispering something inaudible in his ear. I watched the grin that had already been covering Max's face grow even wider as they both started staring at me as if I was there last meal. Thankfully Alex quickly took control of the conversation as he threw himself blatantly at the two who were obviously putting up with his cockiness out of politeness. Alcohol quickly became my best friend and I down glass after glass of the delicious Champaign they constantly kept flowing at me. I couldn't believe how hard Alex was hitting on those two as I downed yet another flute of the cool liquid... but eventually as they began to clear the tables did he realize that he was getting no where with those two that night. I watched as he excused himself and went in search of some other man to hit on in hopes of getting lucky and it sent my emotions onto an emotional roller coaster ride that almost got me in severe trouble in the end.
"You don't speak much do you" Max asked...pulling me away from the sight of Alex flirting with some random man at the bar on the other side of the room.
"Not really" I slurred...as I reached for another glass of Champaign... but instead of the coolness of the glass I felt the warmness of Max's hand as he captured it within his own.
"Not that you had a chance with obnoxious Alex sitting besides you" he continued as he ran his thumb over my frozen digits. "You really are a very good looking man Kyle" he continued to speak in slow and confidant tones that soon had my heart racing wildly within my chest.
"What about Michael" I blurted out...quickly jerking my hand away from his as I searched the table for his lover...only to find that he was no where to be found...leaving just Max and myself there.
"What about him" he teased...speaking in that soft as silk voice of his. "He thinks that you are very handsome as well" I looked in the direction that he was looking and found Michael standing at the bar with a beer in his hand as he obviously flirted with a man sitting besides him. "Michael and I have an open relationship. We love each other very much...but we allow other partners to enter our bedroom from time to time" I couldn't speak a word as I pulled my eyes away from Michael...grabbing yet another glass of Champaign from the nearby waiter...downing it in one fell swoop. I had lost count of just how much I had drank that night...but what I did know was that the effects were starting to kick in and as I spotted Alex kissing some random guy against the wall...I lost all sense of reality. "Let's dance" I heard Max whisper hotly against my ear as he once again took my hand into his own and lead me drunkenly out onto the dance floor.
I didn't have a chance to comprehend anything before he had me plastered against his body...his arms so tightly around my waist that I didn't know where his body began and mine ended. At first I tried to block his endeavors as images of Alex began to barrage my mind...but as I glanced over my shoulder and found him still swapping spit with that same man from before...I decided against it and threw caution to the wind. I loved to dance and dance I did as I began to gyrate and grind my quickly overheating body against the stud before me. I watched shock cover his face...only to be replaced my unadulterated lust as he got into our dance groove and into my mouth.
His tongue tasted of Champaign and heated wetness as he explored every contour of my receptive mouth. At that point in time I was tired of mooning over Alex...tired of being alone and more then a bit horny as my hands began their own exploration of his granite like chest. I could feel the bulge in the front of his pants as he moved even closer against my own raging hard on...and then my world went completely crazy as I felt yet another bugle against my quivering ass. "God the two of you are so sexy together" I head Michael growl against my ear as he reached around my drunken body...pulling Max and I just a bit closer together. My mind was racing...along with the blood in my veins as he began to taste of my neckline. I knew that I should have stopped him...knew that I should not have been doing what I had been doing...but in my drunken and aroused state there was no way that I was leaving those two alone for the night. "I wanna fuck you" I heard Michael growl in my ear once again as he captured my unsuspecting lips under his own as I turned to look at him in shock.
I don't know what really happened after that...all I do know is that the next thing I knew was that the three of us were practically naked and horny as hell as we made our way clumsily towards what I assumed to be my empty stateroom. There hands and their mouths were all over my heated body as I fumbled for the key card that would open the door to a night of pure...one of a kind fucking and I was ready. I was ready to have these men bring out a side of me that I didn't even know existed...a side that didn't think about Alex and the amount of love that he did not hold for me...but that all ended in a split second as the door before me was jerked brutally open as the three of us fell inwards in a mess of limbs and arms. "Alex" I cried out in shock and embarrassment as I looked up at my pajama-clad roommate with a look of pure disgust written so plainly upon his face.
"Do you have any idea what time it is" he growled as he jerked me from underneath the giggling duo known as Max and Michael. "Are you drunk...OMG...your drunk" he continued in shock as I tried to keep my balance only to fail miserably as I fell uncharacteristically to the floor once again.
"What the fuck do you care" I shouted as I tried to once again pull myself off the floor. Only able to crawl as the room began to spin crazily around me...I pulled myself onto the closest bed. "If you cared you wouldn't have left me there at the table alone while you mouth fucked another man" I continued to scream as the giggling men on the floor grew suddenly silent.
"Well you didn't look like you were to hard up for company as you practically had sex on the dance floor with Max over here" he yelled back as he pointed towards a fully frowning Max.
"You think that I wanted to have Sex with either one of them" I screamed at the top of my lungs as I jerked my frame forward...finally able to come to somewhat of a stable stand. "I have only wanted to have sex with you for the last few years...but you have been so fucking oblivious to anything other then your own self to notice" I knew that I should have stopped at that point in time...but I couldn't. Between the effects of the liquor and the hormones swarming crazily within my body there was just no stopping. "Jesus Alex...I've been in love with you for so long now" I continued sadly as I dragged my quickly wearing frame across the room. "I've been in love with you for such a long time...before Sean and Jesse and even now" I sobbed as I leaned against the wall for support for the dizzying effects of the room were almost more then I could stand.
"Kyle...I didn't know" I heard him whisper softly beside me as I kept my back towards him.
"Why couldn't you love me Alex" I whispered as huge unstoppable tears ran down my face. "Why couldn't you just love me" and then my world went black.
When I awoke the next morning both Max and Michael were gone. Instead I found Alex sitting besides me as he laid a cooling washcloth upon my fevered head. "Hey..." he whispered in near silent tones as he ran the cloth around the rest of my face. I couldn't speak as I continued to lay there dumbfounded at to what it was that had exactly happened the previous night. I could remember bits and pieces of it...but most of it was a complete blank. That however didn't last long as the full extent of the show I had put on for everyone began to rerun in my head. I was absolutely horrified as every word that I had spoken came back to haunt me. I even tried to remove myself from the bed...but he was having none of it as he forced me to lie back once again lying that cooling clothe upon my head. I tried to speak but the words would not come and yet it seemed he understood as he nodded his in a form of understanding before handing me some aspirin and a glass of water. "Take these" he said as I quickly swallowed them down in hopes that the healing relief would kick in sooner then later. "I want you to go take a shower when your up to it and we will talk after that" he spoke in such loving tones that it nearly caused me to cry. "I am going to go get some breakfast and give you some alone time. I'll be back later" and then he was gone.
It was a couple of hours before he came back to the room where he found me dozing on one of the couches in the room. "Are you ok" he asked with pure concern written across his face as he sat down besides me.
"I'm so sorry Alex" I hiccupped as I looked down at my trembling hands. "I didn't mean to fuck everything up between us last night"
"You only said what was truly in your heart" he assured me as he placed his hands along side the sides of my face...gently urging me to look into his eyes. "Did you really mean what you said last night though" he questioned a full blush radiating over his face. "About... loving me"
I could have lied...could have blamed it all on the vast quantities of alcohol that I had drunk...but I was tired of always hiding my feelings for Alex and so taking a deep breath I finally fessed up to the true depths of my love for him. "Yes..." I whispered...my own face reddened and hot. "I love you Alex. I've have loved you for so long and I was too afraid to tell you because I didn't want to lose what he had... but I can't hide it anymore. I love you and only you and if you'll have me I would like to be more then just your friend" I gushed the rest out...once again focusing on my hands as I awaited his response.
"You're the reason that Jesse left me that night before he moved to Boston" he replied...leaving me stunned and confused in the wake of his words. "I mean you're not the reason that he left me...but the love that I felt for you was. He knew even before I did that I was in love with you. While we were dating he used to get so angry with me for the way that I would always bring your name into our conversation... for always wanting you to be there whenever we did anything. I think deep down I knew that I was in love with you too...but like you I was afraid that if I pursued it that I would lose the precious friendship that we shared. This whole singles cruise was my attempt to get you to notice me as more then just your best friend...but then things got so screwed up last night and I think that maybe I put a little two much emphasis on trying to make you jealous when I pretended to be all man crazy"
"Yeah maybe a little" I chuckled as I remembered how jealous I actually did get as he gawked and flirted with all those men.
"But it was all an act Kyle...every bit of it was an act to make you notice me. It was an act to make you realize that I was head over heels in love with you"
"Oh I noticed" was my gravely response as I leaned in and stole a simple kiss from the man that I wanted to share a million and one kisses with for the rest of my life. Pulling back I tried to gage his response to what I had just done...and I quickly got my answer as he lunged forward so quickly as he made a bee line for my lips that he knocked us both to the floor. Lust filled giggles and groans could be heard around us as we quickly came together on that hard and rocky floor and shared an earth-shattering kiss. His mouth tasted like heaven...all wet and heated as our tongues rubbed slowly and softly around each other...until the need for more consumed us...leaving us breathless and panting as we regrouped for yet another round.
"Make love to me Kyle" he whispered those lust heavy words against my ear as he leaned in and kissed me softly once again. My hangover quickly forgotten...I jerked myself quickly off of the floor as I assisted him as well. We hastily bridged the gap between us as our mouths fused together yet again in heated want of each other. Before I knew what had happened we were shirtless...once again recouping our failed breaths as we continued to fumble with hindering clothing. Within seconds we were fully nude as I lead him towards the unmade bed...laying my frame heavily upon his heaving body as I once again captured those sweet...sweet lips under my own. Before that night I had never been the aggressor...but with Alex I felt different. I felt more secure with my body and love making skills then I had ever felt before and he was more then willing to let me take control of the situation and it made me love him even more for it.
I wanted and did taste every inch of his glorious body that morning as I memorized every line and contour. Alex and I had been nude together before as we changed for dates and after working out at the gym...but I never truly know what a beautiful piece of man he was until that very night. He may have been thin and wiry...but he was all man as I took in a close glimpse of his manhood in all its perfect fineness. It was the perfect example of a perfect dick in every sense of the word. It was pliable and soft to the touch...yet hard and firm as I gently caressed it within my heated hands. I loved the way that if felt as I continued to examine every aspect of it...but what I loved most about it was the way that it fit so perfectly within the confines of my moist mouth. His taste was addicting and strong as I began a suctioned rhythm that soon had him panting and moaning before me and it caused my heart to soar into the outer limits. My name flew from his lips like a whispered song as I increased the pace of my penis worshiped until he filled my throat with his very essence. From the first taste I knew that I was addicted as I sucked every last drop from his then flaccid dick...but I was still craving more and yet I knew that I had to give him time to catch his second wind before I was to be given that honor again.
"That was absolutely amazing" he spoke through winded breath as I sauntered my way back up his body...once again capturing his lips with my own.
"Thank you" I chuckled...nipping playfully at his chin as he blew hot air across my already heated face. "It's been something that I have been thinking about doing for such a long time now...but so worth the wait"
"Yeah" he blushed as he leaned in and placed a small kiss upon my over kissed lips. "Lets see if I can stand up to the challenge of that line" he chuckled as he easily flipped me onto my back for who was I to resist this man in any way...shape or form. He opted to forgo the examination of my body as he headed right south of the border and who was I to complain as molten lips consumed every inch of me within their fiery depths. His mouth was wet and hot as he continued to nibble...torture and tease my swelling dick. I felt as if I was going to lose my mind as he placed a suction upon me that sooner had my juices flowing like a raging river...but as he licked every inch of me clean...I quickly came back from the nether world. "So...did I stand up to the challenge" he teased as he laid full bodied on top of me as I... like him moments before hand...tried to recoup my failed breath and energies.
"Holy shit...you well surpassed it" I gulped as I tried to keep up with my heaving chest. "Man...I love you Alex" I cried out truthfully as stared into a pair of beautiful eyes that just screamed out the amount of love that he held for me in return.
"And I love you Kyle" was his honest reply as he laid another kiss upon my lips...being falling off to my side...spooning his body against mine. Needless to say we never once left our room for the rest of the voyage and pretty much did the same thing once we got back from our trip. Two weeks later we were moving into our own apartment where we still live together till this very day. The love that we hold for each other had grown outside the boundaries of what I thought normal love could be. Before that I knew that I loved Alex and wanted to be with him...but as time passed and we got passed the adolescent beginning stages of love...it grew into something much bigger. We are everything to each other...even more so then before. We are the reasons that we wake up each and every day....the reasons that we work our asses off daily so we can provide the standard comforts of home...but most importantly we are each others reasons for living and that alone is worth all the heart ache and pain that we had to endue before hand in order to come together in this most perfect of ways.
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