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Tangled Webs

Reply to Sobia Helen

Posted to the Roswell Slash list October 30, 2000

Title: Tangled Webs
Author: Sobia Helen
Disclaimer: Not mine. Also the poem used in the beginning is written by Cordelia Harman.
Category: UC-ish
Rating: U, PG
Spoilers: Takes place during 'Surprise.'
Distribution: Let me know first: wanttakehave@aol.com
Summary: Isabel's POV during the events of "Surprise"

Notes: Okie, Jenny editted this one, so if there are any errors, blame her! LoL. And Jess made the banner.
Dedications: To all the Ice Cubes.


(horizontal rule)

Your eyes so deep and clear, I've seen before.
Your lips so soft and sweet, I've touched before.
My soul is old though my body's new,
I've spent many lives just loving you.
Our bond is strong and our souls the same,
Through the ages our love has remained.
I've shared with you my world, my life,
the years of happiness and years of strife.
There is no end to this silver chord,
It binds our pasts and pushes us forward.

~~Cordelia Harman

~*~

Relief.

That's what I felt when Grant walked out the door of the Crashdown Cafe. Sure, I felt bad about how everyone treated him, but I was glad that I didn't have to go on yet another ritualistic date. I didn't know why I had even accepted. It just seemed like the thing I should have done.

"You know, honey, not now and not tonight, but pretty soon you and I are gonna have to have a little talk," said my Mom, before leaving my side.

"Ditto," Max seconded, as he walked away.

Max. He seemed to be doing a heck of a job for someone who didn't want to be in charge. Or so he said.

I took a deep breath, feeling an intense emotion stirring inside me.

Resentment.

It seemed that that was the emotion I had been feeling towards Max more and more of late. It just didn't seem fair that he was in charge. Not that I wanted to be it. It was just that Max seemed to be the worst choice. He didn't seem to care about the big picture or our Destiny. Of course, he accepted the part of Destiny that put him in charge, but very conveniently rejected the one where he was required to be with Tess. All he did seem to care about was...

My thoughts were interrupted by yet another head splitting headache, accompanied by another ambiguous vision.

Once the vision ended, I realized that I had dropped my drink. My Mom came up beside me as I bent down to clean up the mess. I didn't hear what she said.

I nodded anyway, "I'm just so clumsy tonight," I said to no one in particular, as I started to pick up the broken pieces of the glass.

"I'll get that." Courtney said, bending down opposite me, as she too started to pick up the shreds of glass.

I didn't even look up as I continued to pick up the pieces. "Are you sure? I can...I can get it..."

I stopped as my hand brushed against hers. I felt a shivering spark where my hand had met hers. It ran up my arm like electricity, leaving a tingling feeling in its wake. It was like a noiseless explosion that shattered my whole being.

But it wasn't a bad feeling. No, not at all. It was as if I had never truly been alive before that moment. I shivered slightly at the feeling, completely at a loss to describe what had just happened.

"This is your night," she said. Her voice seemed to be coming from far away, but it broke the spell her touch had created, nonetheless.

I looked up to find her looking at me. I stared back into her eyes helplessly, unable to look away.

Recognition.

I had an eerie feeling of deja vu as I continued to gaze into her eyes, feeling as if I had done this a million times before.

She stood up, as did I, never breaking the eye contact. And then she turned away and was gone. My gaze lingered on her for a few seconds. Then I, too, turned away, unable to comprehend what had just passed between us.

~*~

Two arguments over Grant, four visions about Tess in trouble, and an hour later, I was ready to go after Tess myself. Despite Max's orders to not do so...or maybe because of them.

After I had persuaded Liz to cover for me, Maria and I left to go after Tess. I fully intended to make Maria leave once I got to Tess. Though I feared that we might be too late.

~*~

"Where's the granilith?"

I stared blankly at Whitaker. "The what?" I asked, letting my curiosity get the better of me.

After I had gotten to Tess, I hadn't really been surprised to find out that it had been Whitaker all along. Liz seemed to have the endless tendency to unwittingly open her mouth in front of the wrong people. And after that, she had the nerve to say that she didn't trust Tess. I stopped my thoughts from taking that path and glanced over at Tess as Whitaker went on to explain why she needed the granilith and how the skins weren't really suited to live on Earth.

I was surprised as I continued to regard her with suspicion. Why was she telling me their weaknesses? I was supposed to be the enemy. She had to be incredibly stupid to be doing that.

Or desperate, I thought, and couldn't help feeling for her. I almost wanted to help her. Almost.

"You don't remember, do you?" Whitaker finally concluded after our little discussion. She went on to fill me in on the history of our planet. "You had a great love for whom you betrayed your brother, your race," she finished.

I listened intently, letting her words sink in. "No." I said, my voice sounding unconvincing to my own ears.

"You sacrificed him. You sacrificed everyone...even yourself. And history, my dear, always repeats itself."

I had heard enough. I turned to Tess and after much struggle, was able to get her out of the warehouse. But it wasn't long before Whitaker caught up with us.

Apparently, she was convinced that I wasn't going to help them this time around. And I knew that she was ready to kill us both.

So much for being allies.

But I couldn't let her do that; I was ready to do some damage. I somehow knew what to do. I raised my hand and it was as if something took over me. In an instant, Whitaker was gone.

I could see the little flurries of skin flying everywhere, as I set there with Tess lying near me. I felt Max and others come up as I stared helplessly at the spot where Whitaker had been, my thoughts on what I had learned today.

The entire day had been a huge disaster, except...

* "You know ... moments when you connect with someone. And there's no mistaking what's going on. Like no matter who you may be with, or what you may think, that you and this other person are destined to be together."*

I had never really understood what Tess had meant that day. But I had assumed that it was Michael I was destined to be with. But I never really felt it. Not at all. I would have to be lying to say that I wasn't attracted to Michael. Especially after those dreams. But Michael and I...there was just something that didn't seem right about it.

Suddenly, it dawned on me just what was wrong. Whitaker hadn't been lying, I knew that now for sure. Just as surely as I knew who my 'great love' had been. And still was.

~*~

Resentment.

I felt it yet again, as I saw the Sheriff carry Tess to his car. I couldn't help noticing that Tess was still as injured as she had been when I had found her. Max hadn't bothered to heal her.

I repressed my anger and hugged Max as I told him about Whitaker. This was Max, I told myself. He might be careless at times, but he did want the best for all of us. Except maybe Tess, I thought, pulling away from him.

I barely glanced at Michael as he offered to talk to me if I needed it. "I think I just need to be alone," I said, turning away.

I walked away, feeling like a traitor, knowing what I had done to them in the past.

And the scary thing was that I knew I would do it again if I had to. For Courtney.

* "And history, my dear, always repeats itself."*

*~Done!~*

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