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Cycles of Human Interaction
Reply to SineyaPosted to the RoswellSlash mailing list June 28, 2001
Title: Cycles of Human Interaction
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Spoilers: Departure, Heart of Mine
Summary: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Author's Notes: I was deeply saddened by Departure, and at the same time........I loved it. Tess has always been a favorite of mine, and her 'betrayal' just adds another complex layer.
Dedication: For everyone who wanted to kill after Departure.
They say every second of every day of every month of every year.........someone dies.
Broken and battered, a scared housewife is murdered by her abusive husband. Begging and pleading for her life while fists of steel that've battered against her for years finally choke the life out of her.
Drunk and rowdy, a carful of teens speed down a backroad. Loud music impairs their hearing, and alcohol numbs their senses. They slam into a pregnant woman on her way home. She and her baby are killed instantly. The teens walk away with a few scratches.
An old man sits alone in his home, a glass of juice in his left hand, and a bowl of popcorn in his lap as he watches a crusty cowboy movie. He laughs at the appropriate intervals, shouts as the villain gains headway, and collapses minutes later. His heart dying.
A young girl lay in a hospital bed, blood streaming from her mouth as she coughs her life away. She looks into the gleaming, silver bedpan, her eyes taking in the hairless scalp, the dark shadows strewn across her face. Cancer has eaten away at her until she's nothing but an empty shell.
Every second of every day of every month of every year...someone dies.
It's a phenomenal fact.
We live in a world where death breeds heavily. Where deadly disease is a common denominator. Where a little girl is raped and left for dead, where a teenage boy kills himself because he can't take the pressure of his simple life.
Where you're heart can break with only an few plain words.
".......Tess is pregnant........"
They can split your heart into slivers.
"........we're leaving -tomorrow........"
And shatter it into tiny shards of glass.
"....Tess killed Alex......"
I died that day.
My heart splintered and shattered. I became a statistic, one in a million. Just another numerous death in this world I call home.
I loved her. So much.
So much it hurt when she smiled, when she talked.
So much it hurt when she looked at him. When she touched him.
So much I wanted to weep with regret when I told them she killed my best friend When I shouted the words........when I pushed her off the cliff.
Love is a funny thing.
It can turn you into a monster, it can turn you into a murderer. It can turn you into nothing....and it can fill you with everything.
Alex was my brother....my best friend.
But I'd take it back if I could. I'd turn the clock to that day.....and I'd stop investigating. Stop trying to find his killer.
Because if I hadn't dug so deep, hadn't wanted it so bad.......I never would've found it out.
I wanted to hurt him for taking her away from me, for stealing her body...........her mind. I wanted to show Max how it felt, how you get a deep pit inside your stomach when the one you thought you loved betrays you.
I wanted to hurt her. I wanted her to get sucked into the deep pit of despair. I wanted her to be alone too.....I wanted her to cry, and weep, and lie in her bed at night pretending we were still together.
When you love someone you'll do anything for them.
When they leave you......you'll do anything to hurt them.
That's why she stayed with Max......why she had sex with him.
Because she thought I'd betrayed her......she thought I'd slept with someone else.
Thus began the cycle.
I betrayed her. She betrayed me. I betrayed her. She betrayed me.
I wish I could say we tries to end it somehow. I wish I could say she didn't kill Alex, and I didn't pretend to be with Kyle.
But........we live, we learn, we love, and we lose.
It's called being human.
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