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A Thousand Shades of Light

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Sent to the Roswell Slash Archive January 17, 2001

Disclaimer: Not Mine. They belong to Jason Katims and the WB. I just hope they know how lucky they are.
Description: Tess thinks about the events of the past few weeks.
Rating: PG
Spoilers: After Wipeout
Author: Shadowgrl



If someone had told me two weeks ago that I would be where I am right now I would have gotten down on my knees and kissed their feet in gratitude. Either that or fainted from the shock that someone knew my secret. My other secret that was.

But I would have been screaming for joy inside no matter what my reaction outwardly might have been. I think I would have finally grasped the human emotion known as happiness if that had happened. As it is, I only had to wait a few weeks for that elusive emotion to come stay with me. But there was a price of course, there always is. And the price was sheer terror for an entire day. Fear not just for me but for her as well.

I suppose I should start at the beginning.

It was all because of Nicholas of course. Who else but our enemy would attack us? It was a good plan actually. He and his followers came to town to kill us. No surprise there. But their pit stop before coming to Roswell was definitely a shocker. Somehow, and I have no idea where they got the technology, they made a device which closed off the town of Roswell and made every human in the city limits disappear.

Amazing I know. It would have been impressive; if it hadn't been so terrifying. And it almost succeeded. Probably would have. The others were a mess without their humans there. Max, Isabel, and even Michael were worried sick; they were unable to function properly. Isabel was scared for her parents, Max of course for Liz, and Michael for Maria. I was scared too but I couldn't let anyone know. They all thought I had no one to care about. They were wrong. Max was fumbling around trying to get a grip, Isabel was about a step away from a mental breakdown and Michael had his hands full with Courtney. I have to say that I have never hated anyone so much in my life as I did her. And not just because I thought she was trying to seduce Michael away from Isabel. But that's not important now.

What is important is that we were falling apart and because of that we were going to die.

We were all at The Crashdown. Its funny but that alien-themed restaurant has become the unofficial meeting place. Whenever anything is wrong, whether it's personal or a group thing, everyone automatically gravitates to The Crashdown. Max, Isabel, and Michael had gone there after they discovered all the humans had disappeared. I guess they were hoping Liz, Maria, and Alex would have somehow miraculously escaped the Skins weapon. I had gone there to see her. It was as I was walking that I noticed there was a problem. So since I was already going there I continued towards The Crashdown. I knew the others would end up there sooner or later. Since I was the only one around I figured out that the humans were the ones who had disappeared. I walked faster then hoping she had been spared. Pathetic I know but I don't always have to be the one in control. Sometimes I can be weak. And there was no one around to see me anyway.

I was thrilled when I got to The Crashdown to see that she was there. So was the other one of course but she wasn't important to me. We figured out pretty quick what was going on and Courtney told us how to kill the Skins. Max decided we had to move to the UFO Museum for safety reasons. Since Maria and Liz had just been attacked by a Skin we all thought that was a good idea. We had also picked up Kyle and Jim along the way. They had apparently been out of town like Liz and Maria. But no one seemed to realize that it meant nothing. They may have been out of town before but they were here now and sooner or later they would disappear too. However, I wasn't about to mention it. I didn't want to scare her. I knew she would realize it soon enough.

So we went to the UFO Museum. All of us except for Isabel. She, for reasons unknown, decided to try and find Nicholas on her own. We all went our separate ways in the museum. Max went to look for Isabel. He came back without her and went to talk to Michael. That left Maria and I alone. She was pacing back and forth; ignoring me. She was always doing that but it was okay with me. It gave me the opportunity to look at her. She was flawless. She laughs when I say that but it was and still is true. She wouldn't be who she is without those quirks that others consider to be flaws. I call them quirks. It's who she is and I adore her for it. But I'm getting ahead of myself. It's easy to do that around her.

Maria was pacing back and forth. She asked me once how I knew she was in trouble. The others weren't there but they heard her yell. But I was moving towards her before that. I felt it. That something was wrong. It was in the air; a feeling of menace. And it was threatening my Maria. She yelled my name and even as I lashed out at the enemy who dared to try and hurt her I thrilled to it. She rarely said my name. It sounded beautiful; even though it was filled with fear. I killed the Skin and knelt by her putting my hand on her thigh. It wasn't like the image the others had of me but I had to know she was okay. That I hadn't been too late. So I asked. And she was.

I had to go apart from the others for a second after that. All the emotions running through my body were making it difficult for me to get control. It was then we decided to split up. Max, Michael, and I would go to the school. Kyle faced Max down and declared he, Liz, and Maria would go deactivate the Skins weapon. Kyle and Liz left but Maria lingered. Michael, the dumbass, at least had enough brain cells active to hug her. But as usual he neglected to say the words. He didn't deserve her but she loved him so I never pressed him. It wasn't my place. She looked at me before she left. I didn't understand it then but I do now. I did know that it was a secret look, which is why I didn't say anything.

We got caught. We went to the school and Nicholas caught us. He almost killed us but I beat him to it. I told Max I never wanted to do that again and I don't. But I will. They think I killed them because we were being threatened. They know nothing. I killed them because if we died there would be no one to save Maria when she returned. And she would. Maria was smart. I knew she would be the one to figure out how to destroy the weapon. The others underestimated her but that was their mistake. I knew from the moment I met her that she was the one, out of all the humans, that could be our biggest ally or our greatest enemy. I sent the fireball to protect her; not myself or even Max. For her.

And that day brought me to where I am now. And where is that you ask. It's very simple. Where I am; it's pure joy. I lay here with her in my arms and the sun shining down on us. She came to me a few days after the attack. She said she never got to thank me for saving her life. I tried to say it was okay that I didn't need her thanks. She just smiled and proceeded to thank me. I never knew you could thank a person in that way before. And that brings us here.

Everything seems different now. Tomorrow we tell the others about us. I know they will react badly, They will think I brainwashed her, that I manipulated her into this relationship. They will not believe us when we tell them the truth. They will not believe me when I say I always recognized her as my soulmate. They will not listen to her when she says she felt a kinship with me from the beginning but tried to ignore it and me for the sake of Liz, Max, and Michael. But she wants to tell them. She wants to hold my hand in public. She wants to kiss me in the hallway. She wants to go dancing at the clubs with me on a date. So we will tell them.

But for now she is asleep and I lay here running my fingers through her hair marveling at the thousand shades of light the sun reveals to me.

Continue to 'Darkness Illuminated'

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