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Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice

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Added to the Roswell Slash Archive January 29, 2001

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice, by Sara
Summary: How exactly would a threesome relationship work? I attempt to find out. (I also attempted to make it humorous, so let me know if it was...)
Recommended Background Music: "Got You Where I Want You" by the Flys, "Ladyfingers" by Luscious Jackson and "Genio Atrapado", the Spanish "Genie in a Bottle" by Christina Aguilera.
Dedication: To...Ivy, Courtnay, Leta, Whiteotter, Becca, Behrall, Kristin, and of course Ash. If it weren't for all the feedback you guys provided, I wouldn't have written this. Thanks.

"If you need me to be sweet
then I can give you what you need
'cause I know you never came first baby..."

*Luscious Jackson*

Cinnamon toast. I've grown especially fond of it lately. It's warm and sweet, spicy sugared goodness. It helps when I'm lonely. It reminds me of them.

Tess. She's tiny, soft and sweet, with lips that melt like sugar under mine. Her cool hands caress my back, trace frosted circles over my skin. Tess.

Michael. He's tall, rough and spicy, with lips that press insistently against mine, as if kissing is a power struggle. He wraps his hands around my waist, lifts me up, pushes my back to the wall, all fire and desperation. Michael.

I'm the luckiest girl alive, I think. To have even one of them would be fall-on-your-knees-and-thank-the-gods worthy, but to have both...I'm just waiting for the moment when I spontaneously combust from happiness. How have I gotten this lucky?

I guess it didn't start out so easily, though. In fact, the whole situation was quite ridiculous, now that I think about it. Curious yet? If so, read on.


I stood in the middle of Michael's living room, between Michael and Tess. "So," I said. "How should we go about this?"

They looked at me. Finally, Tess ventured, "I thought you already had a plan."

"What?" I asked, flustered. "No. There was no plan."

Michael frowned. "When Tess and I both agreed on this...arrangement, we thought you had a plan."

"Oh no, no," I said. "No plan. I just...I don't know. I like you," I explained, pointing at Tess. "And I like you." I pointed to Michael.

"That's great," Michael said. "What now?"

This was becoming distressing. "I don't know." Something occured to me. "Oooh! I have a thought. Okay," I said.

I walked over to Tess and kissed her. Then I walked over to Michael and kissed him. Then I grabbed their arms and moved them so they faced each other. "Now you guys kiss," I said triumphantly.

They stared at each other a moment. Michael leaned towards Tess, and she inclined her head towards him. A short pause.

"I don't think so," said Michael.

"Can I kiss you again?" asked Tess.

I put my hands on my hips. Well, I thought it was a good idea. "Well what do you want to do then? Play strip poker? It's only our thing."

Their eyes lit up. "Yes," they said, smiling brightly at me.

Oh. Okay. "Oh," I said. "Isn't it a little soon for nudity?"

"I've been seeing you naked for several months now," Michael reminded me.

"Well, yeah, but Tess-"

"I undress you with my eyes everytime I see you," she explained.

Right. "Hm. Yeah, okay. How about we make cookies?"

They looked at me like I had just sprouted horns. "Cookies," Michael said in that trademark Michael Sarcastic Monotone.

"This was your idea, Liz," Tess said. "Are you having second thoughts?"

"I just don't want to rush into anything," I said, feeling like a mean old killjoy.

They looked defeated. "Well..." Michael said. "I rented a few movies this weekend. Do you wanna watch a movie?"

I perked up. "Sure, what do you have?"

"Well, uh, I just um..." he looked embarrassed, then gave it up and handed me a few movies.

I read the boxes. "Bound, But I'm A Cheerleader, Cruel Intentions, and...Wild Things?" I raised an amused eyebrow at Michael.

"I thought they might be instructive," he muttered.

I giggled. "Right. Well, anyone have a preference? Because I'm leaning toward Wild Things."

"Stick it in," Michael said, then turned bright red. "I mean, uh, the VCR. Stick it in...the VCR."

Tess and I shared an amused glance, then I put the tape in and settled down. "Michael?" I said, patting the seat next to me. "You coming?"

He choked a bit, then glared at me. I hid my smile.

We spent our first official threesome date watching movies.


Things got better after that. I mean, more comfortable at least. I continued to sort-of date Max, because he wouldn't leave me alone. And because I could get him to buy expensive things for me. Not that I was using him, oh know. Well, maybe I was. But the thing is, he was using me too! In fact, I was basically just a cover-up for his real situation. And the way I found out about that situation, oh boy...


It was a few weeks after the movie marathon, and Michael, Tess, and I had pretty much figured out our situation. We'd had a few rather...interesting make-out sessions, and a game of strip Candyland. Do you know how much more amusing games become when there's nudity involved? We've practically bought out the local Toys 'R' Us searching for new ways to have fun and remove our clothing. I'm still trying to figure out a way to make strip Scrabble work.

So the three of us were pretty comfortable with each other in public. We were even able to arrange some "alone time" in the eraser room. (Can you be alone with two other people? I'm not sure about this one. Anyway. Semantics.) It was on the way to one of those sessions when I found out the truth about Max Evans. I mean, the other truth, not the alien one.

Michael, Tess and I had decided to meet after fifth period for a bit of feisty fun. We were walking down the hall, holding hands. We arrived at the eraser room and I entered quietly, followed by Tess and Michael. I shut the door softly behind me and then heard Tess say "hey!"

"What?" I asked.

"There's already someone in here," she said. I snapped on the light.

Max and Kyle were on the floor, wrapped in each others arms, making out and oblivious to the world.

The best I could manage was a strangled laugh. Tess smiled. Michael said, "Hey Maxwell. Helping Kyle with his tackling techniques?"

They quickly untangled from each other. Then Max seemed to notice who had interrupted him. "What are you guys doing in here?" He looked at Tess, at me, then at Michael. "Michael, what's going on?"

"Liz is my girlfriend," he answered casually.

Max looked at Tess. "Then what are you doing here?"

"Liz is my girlfriend, too," Tess said.

Max's eyebrows twitched. "Huh?"

I looked at Max, trying not to laugh. "Hello? I'm the one who just caught my quote-unquote boyfriend making out with my ex. Shouldn't I be the confused one?"

Kyle smirked. "Max likes boys. I happen to be the boy he currently likes. Where's the confusion?"

Tess glanced at him. "I can't believe I almost slept with you." She turned to Max. "I can't believe I wanted to sleep with you." She looked at me. "You're not going to go all straight on me, are you?"

I kissed her soundly. "Nope. I promise." I felt Michael nudging at my back, so I turned and kissed him too.

Max cleared his throat. "Um, we're still here."

"Whatever," I muttered.

I think they left after that. I don't know for sure. I was occupied.


After that, Tess, Michael and I felt free to be affectionate with each other in public. Of course, it helped that pretty much everyone in our group was okay with it. Especially since Isabel, Alex, and Maria had their own little threesome going on. And Max and Kyle were always all over each other in public, which was entertaining to watch. Our group was pretty much coupled (tripled?) off. Though I still got a few random questions and strange looks.


About a week after the eraser room incident, I was approached by Vicki Delaney, Kyle's ex. She found me at my locker, and began looking at the pictures of my significant others. Then she smiled at me and said hi.

"Vicki," I said. "Did you want something?"

She hesitated, then gestured to my pictures. "I thought you were with Max."

"I was. We broke up."

"Why?" She looked confused.

"He likes N Sync more than I do." I raised my eyebrows to accentuate the point.

"Wha...oh. Oh! Okay," she said, getting it. "So you and Tess and Michael seem to hang out together a lot." She paused as if waiting for me to say something.

I stared at her for a moment, then gave in. "Yes."

"So, um, what's going on there? I mean are you with Michael? Or Tess?"

She was looking for gossip. Okay. I'd give her something to talk about. "See, Vicky, the thing is, is that..." I leaned in under the pretense of telling her a secret. Then I grabbed her by the neck and yelled in her ear. "It's none of your goddamn business!!!"

She looked stunned. I smiled, satisfied. Tess came down the hall and grabbed my hand. "What was that all about?" she asked.

"Just doing my part to eradicate conventionalism," I told her, and started walking, leaving Vicky behind to stare after us in astonishment.

That was a good day.


Really, I couldn't ask for more. Max and I have a comfortable brother-sister relationship, and Kyle and I sit around and talk about him. Tess, Michael, and I have gone on a few double(?) dates with Isabel, Alex, and Maria. I've even gotten to be better friends with Isabel, though I really think her romantic life is full enough as it is without my eye wandering in that direction. Nevertheless, we have had a few rather interesting toenail-painting sessions together with Tess. I'm trying to get Michael to come along so I can paint his nails black, but he refuses. He clearly doesn't know what he's missing, though he has requested we videotape it next time we get together. Men. Honestly.

School dances are fun, I have to admit that. I mean, with the two of them slithering around me, Tess at my back, Michael in front? Oh boy. And girl. I mean, oh wow. Though slow dances are rather interesting, with them fighting over who gets me first. Yes. I like my life.

I have my boyfriend. I have my girlfriend. I have my boyfriend's apartment and his extensive board game collection. I really can't complain.

And why would I want to?

The End

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