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Sight (Un)Seen

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Posted to the RoswellSlash mailing list April 5, 2001

Name: Pilar
Title: Sight (Un)Seen
Fandom: Roswell
Disclaimer: Clearly I do not own anything but my own words. Characters are all the intellectual property of Katims and Metz and the nice people of the WB, et al.
Rating: R, I suppose. Nothing too dirty.
Summary: Tess realizes that destiny has nearly nothing to do with her. (Tess POV, Michael/Max)
Distribution: RSA, anyone who has any of my work, anyone else, please ask.
Author's Note: This is in response to a SORTeam challenge in which the only requirement is to write from the POV of an observer outside of the action. And clearly, I am obsessed with this destiny shit. Still.

        They didn't know she was there, how could they? No one ever paid any attention to her anyway. She crouched further against the wall, receding into the darkness.

        No fear.

        She saw them moving closer to each other. Her destiny asunder in a kiss.

* * * * *

        I know that I'm making more out of everything than it could possibly be, but you have to look at it from where I stand. From where I watched.

        When I seemed to be seven, I was newborn.

        When I seemed to have a family, I had a watcher who taught me about my destiny.

        I tapped into past memories and convinced myself that destiny was really real, knowing nothing about either.

* * * * *

        The man who I had always known to be my husband, but who had never kissed me in anything but allusion, turned his face up to another.

        He licked his lips.


        With forethought, with a certain deliberation that I've never really had.

        When he had kissed me, it was because I had made him. I had shown him everything I knew. I had used my power of altering reality to make him think he wanted me.

        It was all I knew to do.

* * * * *

        Max tipped his face up toward Michael's, in his mind, they were alone. I crouched closer to the wall, further away from them.

        He had never touched me like that.

        Maybe Nasedo had lied.

        Maybe destiny got all fucked up in the translation.

* * * * *

        Michael worried Max's lower lip. They observed each other. Eyes fixed, transfixed.

        I slunk deeper into the darkness.

        Max's head bent against the wall, Michael supporting its weight. They crushed against each other and I could see into their destiny.

        It wasn't the story I'd been told.

        Max pressed deeper into the wall. Michael spread his feet at the ankles, his leg rubbing against Max's groin, his hips urgent into him. I slunk deeper.

        I tried to be nothing.

        I was nearly there.

* * * * *

        No matter what they tell you, there are people who are meant to be together. People whose bodies meet each other's and they simply fit perfectly. Bodies that mold into each other with an insistence and a spirit that cannot be matched by someone who is not exact.

        For Max, I am not that one.

        I never will be.

        Watching them, seeing them, even from the pitch black of my corner, I knew that. For the first time. And I was all right with it. I *saw* it. When you see it with your own eyes, there's no mistaking realness.

        Realness can span lifetimes.

        Destiny might not.

        If destiny exists at all.

        If destiny is really destiny.

* * * * *

        She saw buttons open under Michael's practiced fingers. She saw Max's mouth fall open in a mix of anticipation and ecstasy. She saw their hands twine together as they sunk onto the couch and they shucked their clothes into a strewn mass on the floor.

        She saw the husband who would never marry her in this lifetime naked for the first time.

        She saw the man who would never want her want someone else. And have him.

        She watched as they made love, their heaving bodies pistoning against each other and a flurry of limbs and gnashing teeth. She watched them orgasm and separate, their bodies never moving far from each other and their hands still moving slowly over each other's skin.

        And she memorized the look on Max's face, knowing she would never see it again.


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