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The End of the Continuity, 7/10

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Added to the Roswell Slash Archive June 25, 2001

The End Of The Continuity
Chapter: 7
By: Nicole Anell
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: parody
Disclaimer: See part one.

**Max and Future Tess are in an unfamiliar bathroom.**

FUTURE TESS: Are you sure this is going to work?

MAX: Oh, just shut up and blindly follow everything I say.

FUTURE TESS: I am so sick of that.

MAX: Trust me, this will fix everything.

FUTURE TESS: But I would never be jealous of-

MAX: Could you turn around?

FUTURE TESS: Max, several thousand Americans saw your bare chest already. I think we can handle the full monty.

**Max pouts and takes his clothes off.**

MAX: It's just... you know, this cold weather we've been having... here in New Mexico... the (*mumbles*) snow and all.

FUTURE TESS: Noted. Just get out there before Present Me shows up.

**Max leaves the bathroom and looks uneasy.**

MAX: So, um, you know I made it actually clear we aren't actually going to consummate.

KYLE: Yeah, it's okay. I meditated on this situation and I'm at peace with it.

MAX: I'm sure you are.

**They awkwardly hop into the bed together.**

KYLE: So... um... how are things?

MAX: Things are good.

KYLE: Good.

**Kyle twiddles his thumbs**

KYLE: You know, if you did want to consummate I'd be at peace with that too. (*Max glares*) Okay, I get it, never mind.

MAX: It's just that I realized I see you more as... family, Kyle. Like a sister.

KYLE: (*hopefully*) Like Isabel?

MAX: No, a sister whose pants I don't want to get into.

KYLE: Crap.... Wait, we're not even going to do oral-

MAX: I am five seconds from putting up the green shield, buddy!

KYLE: Can we at least cuddle?

MAX: Well... okay, fine.

**Kyle and Max cuddle. Somewhere, for some reason, the song "Blackbird" by the Beatles is now playing. As predicted, Present Tess walks up to Max's door, black turtleneck in hand.**

TESS: Max, I just saw the ugliest cheapest thing on sale and I thought of y-

**She gasps in horror at seeing Kyle and Max cudding. They freeze. Cut to them. Cut to her. Cut back to them. This goes on for roughly 3 minutes. "Blackbird" ends. On to "Being For The Benefit Of Mr. Kite!" FINALLY, Tess opens her mouth and breaks it down, Parker-style.**

TESS: Max, I can't believe you - with him? I had flashes for you, I gave up my spine for you! God, Max, I saved myself for you! I was suffocating! This last year has been so hard for me, it's like I've been waiting for bad news - "Oh yeah, by the way Tess, I remembered I'm gay and I love Kyle." (*to Kyle*) And YOU! You lived in my home! I mean, I lived in your home! (*calms down a little*) I don't know maybe I've just been holding on to something and I need to let go.

**With this, Tess notices that, yes, she is indeed still holding onto something - the turtleneck. She throws it into a nearby trash can and storms away. Kyle jumps out of bed and tries to run after her.**

KYLE: Hey, wait! Tess! Don't tell the guys on the football team, okay? Especially not Malamud? Okay? Tess? Sweetie? We cool?

**Cut to Present Tess running, biting her lip and looking all sad.**

**Cut to Max in bed, trying to remember his stage direction.**

**Cut to Future Tess in the bathroom, managing to contain a fit of laughter.**

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