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Born to Make You Happy

Reply to Jenn Elise or visit her website

Added to the Roswell Slash Archive June 18, 2001

        I went to her the next night. I wasn't usually the one to make the first move, but without Isabel, I was lost. I wanted to know what it was like to lie in her arms. I wanted to get lost in her, wanted to let her get lost in me. We need each other, at least I need her.

        I threw a rock at her window like they did in the movies. I saw her walk across her room, her shadow moving across the curtains. Moments later, the door to her house opened slowly and she walked across the lawn to me.

        There was music in the air that night coming from some party down the road. Isabel's arms snaked around my waist and held me close as we danced. I breathed her in, letting myself drink in the feeling of just being alive.

        The grass was soft beneath my shoes, moving with us, tickling my toes in their sandals. She sang softly in my ear, and her breath blew at my hair. I saw her mouth moving towards mine as if in slow motion. When her lips brushed mine I felt things start to explode within me. Cells started to bust apart, the world started to spin. I wished I could freeze this moment in time. I was finally happy, I finally had what I always knew I wanted.

        And as we kissed, I felt my shoulder grow wet. Isabel was crying, bathing me in silent tears. I brushed them away gently and kissed each of her cheeks. Her hand found mind and she pulled me across the lawn, through the door to her bedroom.

        The room started moving in slow motion as we made our way to her bed. I could feel Max's presence in the room, smell his scent. It haunted me, teased me. I felt him laughing at me, at my infidelity. I couldn't help but feel I had betrayed the one man who had ever loved me. I had. But he had betrayed his family for me, he had given away secrets which were never his to give. And I had gotten caught in a whirl of love and lies. It could never be true, no secret could ever produce the truth.

        "No," I cried out pushing her away. She looked miffed, and moved backwards.

        "What's wrong?" she asked softly, reaching towards me.

        "Max," I said, looking at her. "He's here, I feel him. And it chokes me. His memory, it's haunting me. Like he's dead." I started to cry, and she ran to the bed, enveloping me in her arms, my head resting on her breast. It was mother-like, but so far removed from maternal feelings that anyone could tell what we held for each other, what love flowed through the heart beating under my ear, and the heart in my chest.

        "But he is dead," I said to her. "He's dead to me. I can't love him, I never did love him, I was grateful to him, that's all. But I love you. And I know I am your soulmate. This is your betrayal, this is your destiny." It was the first time I had ever used the word in ages. I didn't believe in destinies, the world was scientific and orderly, and that was why I believed.

        Plans were all I'd been making my whole life, but I'd forgotten about life's plan, God's plan. Destiny was the plan the universe made before our births. I thought Isabel was different, it was a love I hadn't planned, a relationship I had simply been thrown into. But maybe this was the plan that I had had in mind all along, the plan the stars and the moon had in mind.

        "This is my betrayal," she whispered in my hair. I felt her breadth on my neck as she moved my shirt aside and kissed the exposed flesh.

        "And this is mine," I said, lying back on her bed. I let her eyes pull over me, let her imagine what was underneath the clothes. And my stomach tightened as I thought of her imagining me unclothed, exposed and naked to her eyes.

        That just sent my brain into a frenzy. Images of Isabel's golden skin flashed across my eyes, her eyes clouded and her body fully uncovered, little movies playing on my eyelids. But they opened when I saw her standing next to the bed, her clothes a puddle on the floor. My eyes couldn't stay still, trying to capture every image before she faded away, like she did in my dreams each night.

        Her hand reached for mine and I let her guide my hand to her skin. My fingers took the place of my eyes and they glided over her skin. She sat next to me on the bed and let me explore her body, let me get to know her more intimately than anyone I had ever known before.

        There was a goddess sitting next to me, letting me touch her. I could smell her lust, taste it hanging through the air like flowers in a garden. I could do nothing more than let my fingers move in circles across her skin. My fingers found her lips and she let one in, gently sucking at the tip. I sat up and pulled my finger from her mouth. I moved it to my own lips and swept my tongue across it.

        Her lips met mine and again they danced. My arms once again wove around her neck and I could feel the heat of her neck against my arms. Every hair on my body stood on end, not knowing what to expect next.

        But suddenly she broke our kiss and turned to look at the clock on her dresser. A wave of her hand covered her beautiful figure with a silky white slip. I watched her lie back on the pillows, her hand holding mine.

        "You're mine now," she said kissing my knuckles.

        "I'm yours forever," I replied. "I was born for you, born to make you happy." And suddenly it all became clear. The plan I had been searching for my whole existence was unfolding. I was to be Isabel's, I was to serve her with all my being. And as a reward, I got her.

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