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Becoming One

Reply to Jenn

Posted to the Roswell Slash list August 15,2000

Title: Becoming one...
Part: 1/1
Rating: pg13 (considering that it's "slash")
Author: Jenn
Email: rozzy285@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: If I owned 'em..I wouldn't be broke! =)



Sex is so overrated. At least, that's what I used to think. I used to assume that the only reason people did it, was for a cheap thrill.

I never stopped to think that, just maybe, some people did it as an act of love. As a way to show, without words, how they felt for each other. I never thought about the fact that maybe 'making love' is the closest two people can ever be, without becoming one person.

I wonder, now, as I'm lying here awake, watching her sleep beside me, if maybe becoming one person is such a bad thing. It's already too late for me to change the fact that most of the time, I can't breathe without her. And that sometimes, that thin line between us, fades, to the point where I can't see where I end, and she begins. I didn't mind before and I certainly don't mind now. She means the world to me and without her, everything is empty. I thought we were close before..and we have been since day one. But after tonight, everything is going to change. Of course, no one will know, for now, but us...but we don't care. It just meant the less of ourselves and our time, that we'll have to share with the rest of the world.

Until tonight, the words 'making love' meant nothing more to me, than 'a guy and a girl, sleeping together'...but I know now, that that's not always the case. I never thought it just meant 'two people, worshipping each other...body, heart..and soul, to show their love.' Though, before tonight, I had never experienced either.

I rolled over, taking my eyes off of her, to look at the clock on my bedside table. It read twelve thirty-one in bold red numbers. Everyone else in the house was asleep. My parents, they always go to bed early and I suspect that my brother, Max had been in bed for some time, now, too. Then again, everyone thought that we had been, too, a lot longer than any of them had been.

Tess had been coming over, more and more often, here lately. My mother loved having her around almost as much as *I* did....but her reasons were merely because Tess no longer had any kind of parental figure in her life..and my mom had taken it upon herself, to see that Tess always knew that she was welcome in our house. Of course, I had no complaints.

I can't tell you when things started happening between the two of us. They just sort of, did. Though, up until tonight, it had never progressed beyond kissing and sharing my bed with her, on nights when neither of us wanted to be alone....but still, it was never more than kissing. Something about tonight..was just...different. We had been lying there, talking, like always, but this time, when the kissing started, neither of us wanted it to stop.

And we didn't.

One thing led to another. Several times, I might add. And now, here we are, in my bed. I can't sleep. I'm feeling far too restless, so I moved back to my previous position of watching Tess as she lay against me. Tucking my left arm underneath my head, I wrapped the other around the smaller girl, pulling her back, firmly against my body. The feel of her bare flesh, on mine, was a feeling that I didn't, soon, want to forget. I need to sleep, I know, but I didn't want to try without having her in my arms. Resting my cheek against her soft golden curls, I closed my eyes, inhaling the scent of, what I guessed was, her shampoo. It was almost intoxicating. Not that I knew what intoxication felt like. That was a question I'd have to save for Max.

As I lay there, unmoving in an attempt to clear my head, I felt Tess lightly stir, entangling her legs with mine. It was amazing how comfortable we've gotten with each other, but then, the amount of intimacy that we showed each other tonight, had been the final step in bridging the small gap that had still been between us. It was so different than being around humans. Even though they say and act like we're no different from them, I still see that small amount of fear, worry, curiosity and amusement that will cross their faces if we use our powers around them. I guess that's always going to be a 'given'..but that doesn't mean that it unsettles me any less. With Tess, though, nothing phases her, because she's like me...and she understands me. In some ways, we're completely different...in others, we're the same.

I sighed deeply at my distaste for my lack of sleep. We had school in the morning and I knew, already, that I was going to come home with extra homework, due to sleeping in class. But I didn't want to fall asleep and wake up to the bright, early morning sun, shining in my face. I wanted this night to last forever.

"Isabel?"

I was surprised to hear Tess's soft voice.

"Yeah?" I answered, wondering just how long she'd been awake.

"Thank you," she whispereed, resting her arm next to mine around her waist, entwining our fingers.

"For what?" I asked, gently squeezing her hand and pulling her a little closer.

"For giving me this..." Tess paused. Just as I was about to ask her what she meant, she finished. "For giving me...family. With you....I just, I-" she paused again. "I..don't feel so alone anymore."

"Tess..." I breathed, burying my face into the curve of her neck.

I let my lips rest gently on her naked shoulder, then again, kissing my way up. When I got closer to her jawline, Tess turned in my embrace, to look up at me. Neither of us spoke, but we didn't need to. After a moment of comfortable and understanding silence, our mouths met in, yet, another gut-wrenching, heartfelt kiss. It seemed to last forever, but ended far too soon.

Once we had settled comfortably back into my pillow, I pulled Tess tightly to my body again, and sighed. Only, this time, it was a sigh of contentment, because I knew now, that I would soon be asleep and that, when I woke up....Tess would still be there, and everything would be alright.

THE END

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