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Again

Reply to Jenn

Posted to the Roswell Slash list October 22, 2000

Title: Again
Part: (1/1)
Author: Jenn
Email: rozzy285@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: Characters aren't mine..and we all know who really owns them. The song is Lenny Kravitz new single "Again". If you haven't heard it...i recommend that you seek it out...and FAST!!



"Tess...thanks for coming over." Isabel said nervously, opening the front door for the other girl to come in.

"Yeah, I kinda wanted to talk to you..before..you know.." Tess nodded uncomfortably, unsure of what to say, now that she was here.

Before Isabel had called, she had had everything worked out in her head. She was going to go over. Tell her that she was leaving..and then leave. But now that she was here, Tess couldn't bring herself to just be so blunt about it. She couldn't bring herself to get it over with. She was stalling, and something inside her knew that's what she was doing.

"Max told me that you're leaving." Isabel said, breaking Tess out of her reverie.

"Oh," Tess said, fidgeting with her hands. "I was going to tell you. But I- that's why I was going to come over here and then you called and now I..now I don't know what I'm doing here."

"I called you." Isabel reminded her. "I just..needed to hear it from you."

"Why?" Tess questioned, looking at the other girl warily.

I've been searching for you
I heard a cry within my soul
I've never had a yearning quite like this before
Now that you are walking right through my door

"I had a reason..before you got here," Isabel said, looking everywhere but at the smaller girl. "But now..I can't seem to....remember."

"Okay.."

"Where will you go?"

"It doesn't matter." Tess shrugged indifferently. "Nasedo's gone now. I know the Sheriff said I could live with him..but Kyle's really uncomfortable with me being there. And I don't fit in with anyone at school. There's only three other people like me in the world Isabel..and I don't fit in with them either. I know how you guys feel about me."

All of my life
Where have you been
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And if that day comes I know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again

"Do you?" Isabel asked.

"Yeah. I do." Tess answered. "Everyone tolerates me..but.."

"But what?" Isabel challenged. "I wouldn't have helped you, Tess, unless I wanted to. It would of been so easy for me to ignore it..and pretend like nothing was happening."

"Would it?"

A sacred gift of heaven
For better worse wherever
And I would never let somebody break you down.
Until you cried... never

"But I didn't." Isabel insisted, her voice cracking slightly, though she was barely whispering. "And when I found you...I..you were..hurt. She hurt you..and I was so scared. I was just starting to trust you again..and to like having you around..and when I saw you..."

"I'm okay now."

"I was going to ask you if we could..." Isabel paused, looking everywhere but at Tess. "I wanted to try to work things out. And you weren't at my party...so I was worried."

"Isabel..you're not making any sense." Tess said, slightly confused. "You called me..is everything okay?"

All of my life
Where have you been
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And if that day comes I know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again

"I didn't see it before..because I didn't want to.."

Isabel continued to ramble. She had called Tess, with every intention of telling her everything that she was feeling. Of telling her that she needed her all this time, but never saw it until it came down to do-or-die. But then Max had told her, just after she'd gotten off the phone, that Tess had told him at school that afternoon, that she was going to leave...and now she didn't know what to say or do, that would make her change her mind. Because if she told her how she really felt...she might run, anyway. But if she didn't tell her..and Tess left without knowing, Isabel didn't think she could live with herself.

"You didn't see what, Isabel?" Tess asked.

She lightly touched Isabel's arm, in an attempt to reassure her that she was still listening...but all it resulted in, were a bunch of rapid flashes that she barely had time to take in. All of them had taken place the night of Isabel's party. Of her feeling worried, wondering where Tess was. Mostly, they had been flashes of the events that had occured at the electrical plant..and how Isabel had felt when she'd found Tess, bleeding and hurt.

At every time, I've always known
That you where there, upon your throne
A lonely queen, without her king
I longed for you, my love forever

"I've always known, I think." Isabel nodded. "That's why I took to you, so soon. That's why I was so hurt..when I thought you were here to put us all in danger. That's why I've been so mean to you. I...it was because of how I feel about you."

All of my life
Where have you been
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And if that day comes I know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again

"How you feel?" Tess repeated.

"But now you're leaving, Max said..." Isabel continued, not listening to Tess. "If you ever decide to come back...."

"I will...someday."

"When?"

All of my life
Where have you been
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And if that day comes I know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again

"I don't know." Tess shrugged once again. "I haven't even left yet, Isabel. I'm not packed, yet. Though, I don't have much to take."

"Why didn't you come here sooner?"

"I was still trying to decide how to tell you that I was leaving." Tess said, not understanding what Isabel had meant.

"To Roswell, I meant." she corrected her. "Why did you wait so long?"

I wonder if I'll ever see you again

"It wasn't my choice." Tess told her. "Nasedo said he didn't know where you all were. But I think he was lying."

I wonder if I'll ever see you again

"Why?" Isabel pressed. "He should of known. He should of known that...that maybe we needed you."

"Isabel..where is all of this coming from?" Tess stepped back, to lean against the door.

"I don't want you to go, Tess." Isabel admitted. "Not now. Not..ever."

Tess shut her eyes briefly, trying to push back the feelings she'd been carrying, for the other girl, since day one. She'd been putting them off for so long..and now that she'd decided it was time to leave town....it definately wasn't the time for those feelings to be rushing back.

I wonder if I'll ever see you again

Tess tried to swollow the huge lump that had formed in her throat, then spoke. "You said that..you had something you...wanted to-"

I wonder if I'll ever see you again

"I was just..wondering if I'll ever see you again."

end...

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