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Camelot Part Three

Reply to Janine

Posted to the Roswell Slash list August 20,2000

TITLE: "Camelot", part three
AUTHOR: Janine
EMAIL: jbstories@hotmail.com
SUMMARY: There's more to Isabel's relationship with the 'new girl' than meets the eye. (Isabel/Tess)
RATING: PG
DISCLAIMER: The characters and universe herein are the property of Melinda Metz, Jason Katims, and all the other wonderful people and companies associated with the production of "Roswell". This is a piece of fan-written fiction and no infringement upon any legal bindings they may hold is intended.



We all gathered together at an abandoned Carnival sight the next afternoon. We sat on a crippled carnival ride and discussed Tess in a committee. "I don't think she knows we're on to her," Liz said.

"She's the fourth alien, we should trust her," was Michael's opinion.

Max said that she was a killer, and while she may be an alien she was not like us.

And I said to them, "I don't think that anyone, or anything that would pretend to be a teenage girl in order to seduce Max is on our side," while on the inside I was screaming "she broke my heart and I didn't even know I had given it to her! She broke me."

She manipulated Max into dreaming of her, into wanting her and then she took him, all within twenty-four hours of doing the same thing to me. Only how much easier a target was I? I was an idiot, she used me and I didn't even see it coming. At least Max had been suspicious, had felt that something was wrong. I had defended her! I had fought for her, and I didn't just 'want' her, or give in, or resign myself, or accept the inevitable, I welcomed her with arms wide open. I had fallen in loved with her. She didn't even need to manipulate me; I would have gone to her anyway.

We hadn't decided earlier if we were going to trust her or not. We still didn't have enough information to know whether or not she would harm us, so once again the job of acquiring information on her fell to me. I was actually grateful for the assignment though; it gave me something to think about besides how much she had hurt me.

I was standing across from the secretary in the office having designed my plan to start stage two of operation "T.E.S.S".

"I need her file because I'm with the Sunshine Committee," I told the secretary. "You know, it's kind of like the Welcome Wagon for students. It helps them get along and fit into a new place better.

"I've been here eight years and I've never heard of a Sunshine Committee," she responded, her face as still as stone. This one had verve; I wasn't in the mood for verve.

"I know," I related in a disappointed tone. "Isn't that terrible? A few of us thought it was time to start one up. You can never have too much sunshine, don't you think?"

She didn't really seem convinced by the argument, but SHE didn't need to be convinced she only needed to leave her office so that I could get on her computer and she did just that. The mission had been accomplished.

I didn't feel any better.

I came home later on to find Tess and my mother bonding over old photo albums in the kitchen. When Tess saw me she commented on how lucky I was to have such a wonderful family and so many happy memories. She was right, I did have a wonderful family and many happy memories, but I didn't want to hear it from her because it just reminded that I was constantly lying to one half of that wonderful family, and that none of my recent memories were making me feel too happy. As I walked further into the room I had to force my step not to falter and my face not to crack. Annoyingly she followed my progress the whole time looking up at me with sparkling eyes. It nearly undid me, nearly toppled me to the ground because I still wanted her. Despite it all, I still wanted her and that frustrated me more than anything else in the world. I moved over to the counter and picked up a glass, I was going to act like everything was normal. No one was going to be the wiser; no one was going to know that I was having a nervous breakdown.

When my mother left a few minutes later to run some errands, Tess smiled at me coyly but looked at me brazenly and walked over to me. Twenty-four hours before I would have melted upon seeing an expression like that cross her beautiful features, but then and there it was like a slap across the face. As she got closer to me, I felt my hand begin to shake and was only dimly aware of the fact that the glass I had picked up had fallen from my hand and was plummeting towards the ground. I wanted to move away from her but my feet seemed to have taken root, so I did the next best thing and dropped to the floor where I began to pick up the glass shards. She lowered herself down to and began to help me clean up the mess. She looked at me furtively a few times as we cleaned up. I had seen that look on her face before and I knew that she wanted to say something but was holding herself back. Before I would have asked her, gently placing my hand on her shoulder to encourage. This time I said nothing.

When we were finished I stood up without a word and moved into the living room. The kitchen suddenly seemed cramped. She followed me, I could feel her presence trailing along behind. Once we had completed the journey she moved to stand in front of me and she placed her hand on my neck. I knew that she intended to kiss me like she had the night the before and my stomach flipped involuntarily. I turned my head to the side at the last possible second causing her lips to land on my cheek instead.

She took a step back and regarded me keenly, trying to look into my eyes but I avoided her gaze.

"Isabel?" she questioned softly, her eyes searching my face. I didn't answer her. I didn't think that it was possible for me to have at that moment. "I'm sorry about yesterdayäI know my dad can be weird sometimes."

My eyes flickered to her for a moment, completely of their own violation, and then flittered away again. I couldn't look at her. I felt like I was going to be ill-or at least I assumed that was what feeling like you were going to be ill felt like since I had never been sick before. It was impossible for me to know what the look on my face revealed, because the emotions flooding through me were too haphazard to make any sense out of, but the look obviously revealed something because it prompted Tess to say, "You know," her hand moved back to my cheek caressing it gently as she said this, "I've never felt as close to anyone as I feel to you. With you I feel like we share somethingäsomething special. I don't think I could bear it if you hated me for it."

Liz was right. She had no idea that we knew about her, or more importantly she had no idea that I knew what she had done. She thought I was freaking out about the whole 'gay' thing. I pulled away from her after she said that and took a step back from her finally having managed to pull myself together. She reached out for me, I jerked back.

"Don't," I said, my voice a low rumble. "Don't touch me."

"Isabel?" Her eyes were searching my face, searching. She wouldn't find what she was looking for. She had destroyed it.

"I know," was all I said in response to her. I was trying very hard to control myself, not only my anger but also my pain. The phrase, 'Never let them see you bleed' was racing around in my skull. Never let the enemy know that they've broken you because if you do then they've really won.

Her eyes clouded over momentarily and she regarded me shrewdly. Her eyes were still open, still searching mine, but she was also assessing the situation now. We both knew that she had secrets, she just didn't know which ones I knew and she was trying to figure it out.

"Know what?" she inquired carefully.

"You kissed Max. You kissed my brother," I shot at her abrasively. That wasn't what I had intended to say to her, or how I intended to say it to her, but that's what came out. "You kissed him," I added so softly almost I didn't the comment.

"Iä" she paused there, seemingly searching around in her head for a way to weasel out of the truth. "It's not what you think," she finally said lamely.

"What I think doesn't matter, it's what is that counts, and you KISSED him," I responded taking another step back. I didn't even want to be in the same room her. She hadn't denied it. I think that some part of me had wanted to believe that it was all a misunderstanding, or a lie, or a hallucination or anything other than what it was, but I knew now that it had happened. That it was real, and it felt like someone had landed a direct hit to my solar plexus.

"It's complicated," she said stepping towards me. I thought that I detected desperation in her voice. "It's a complex situation. It's full ofäcomplexities."

"No, it's not very complex at all. I know what you are and I know what you did."

"What I am," Tess said to herself softly before looking into my eyes again. She knew not to pretend like she didn't know what I was talking about. She collapsed down onto the couch.

"You can go now," I said gesturing towards the door. "We're on to your little game. All of us, and Max and I aren't going to fall for your tricks anymore," I went on looking her directly in the eyes for the first time that day. "And if you try to hurt any of our friends, we will find you and we will hurt you. No matter what form you're in."

"What form? You think I'm Nasedo?" she asked looking up at me surprised.

"No, we know you're Nasedo. We've seen you," I told her backing up again.

"You haven't seen me change shape, because I can't. If you've seen that it wasn't me," she related in a most earnest tone. She was looking directly at me, pleading with those bright blue eyes for me to believe her.

"If you're not Nasedo then you know who is, which really isn't any better. I don't think we're about to trust a murderer or his trusty side-kick."

"He's not a murderer," she replied resolutely.

"So you do know Nasedo."

"So do you."

"Huh?"

"You met him yesterday, he told you to call him Ed," she responded standing up and moving towards me again. Nasedo was her father. "He's not your enemy. He's been assigned to us for our protection, and to teach us. He got to me first."

"Us? What us?"

"You, me, Max and Michael."

I was silent after she said this trying to process it all and decide whether or not I wanted to believe some of it or none of it. If what she was saying was the truth then it could answer a lot of questions for the three of us. We would finally be able to figure out where we were from, and why we were here. Not to mention we would be able to learn how to better control our powers. But that was if she was telling the truth, and while I had no reason to doubt the validity of what she was saying, I had no reason to believe it either. She was likely a terrific liar. We had to be.

"I'm beginning to think that I probably should have taken a different approach," she said breaking me out of my revere. She was moving towards we slowly, hesitantly as if she was trying to prevent me from bolting. "But I didn't, and I can't change that now. What I can tell you is that I haven't lied to you, not once since we met and I'm not lying now." She reached out for me and placed her hand on my shoulder.

"This doesn't change anythingäbetween us," I replied as I removed her hand from my shoulder and moved around to the other side of the room. "You still kissed Max." I couldn't keep some of the pain out of my voice as I said this and she turned around to look at me sadly. "I won't be your puppet," I told her hardening my gaze.

"You don't understand," she said looking at me intently. "I had no choice."

"No choice?" My voice was incredulous and outraged as I said this, because I wasäwell, incredulous and outraged. "How could you have no choice? You planted images in his head, and when they took effect you took him. How could you have no choice in that?"

"So you don't know?" she asked curiously. "The whole story, do you?"

"I know you've manipulated us. Do I need to know more?"

"Yeah, you do. Max is my destiny, it's been foretold. I didn't chose him, it's just the way it is," she responded looking down at the carpet. "The images I gave him, I had to do it, I had to try and make him come to me. It was fate."

"What?"

"This has all happened before. You, Max, Michael, and me. We were before and have been created to be again. I've been guided here, been given images of the past and told what's to be. And Max and I are suppose to be together."

"So where does seducing me fit into your neat little future with Max?" I asked harshly.

"It doesn't," she said softly. "It wasn't supposed to happen, it wasn't suppose to be."

"You gave me images, just like you gave Max images. You made me want you," I replied though I wasn't nearly as certain as my tone was supposed to convey.

"You dreamed about me?" She raised her head when she asked this and looked directly at me with a surprised expression on her face.

"You know I did. You sent them."

"No, I didn't," she replied looking up at me once again. "I gave you the images of Michael, nothing more."

"Michael? Why?" My head was really beginning to hurt. This conversation was beyond exasperating, it was becoming painful to try and follow it.

"That's what the book says. You and Michael, me and Max," she answered shaking her head. 'That's how it's always been. Before I came to Roswell you were all just shadows of memory, an abstract idea, but I certain of what was to be. Trust me, I was more shocked than anyone when I started dreaming about you. I didn't understand where it fit in to the grand scheme of things. I still don't. I only know that what I feel for you is more real than anything I was suppose to feel for Max, and strong enough to make me risk the only thing that's ever been certain in my life. I'm not suppose to want you Isabel, but I do and I can't stopäbelieve me I tried."

"Why should I believe you?" I asked cursing internally as my voice cracked revealing my weakness.

"Because you want to. Because you feel it too. Because the heart always knows and in your heart you want meäyou need me, as much as I need you." She was walking slowly towards me as she spoke and by the time she finished she was standing directly in front of me our, bodies almost touching. She placed her hands on my waist then drew them around encircling me, drawing me into an embrace. I couldn't find it in me to resist. She rested her head on my shoulder and pulled me tighter. Once again I didn't resist. When she didn't feel me pull away she gently lowered her lips to the skin of neck and placed a series of soft butterfly kisses on the open skin working her way to my jaw line and then eventually my lips. When I felt the soft warmth of her lips against my own I was powerless to stop my response. I lowered my head pressing our lips together firmly, passionately meeting her eager tongue. My arms slipped around her waste and I drew her even closer to me as I inhaled her scent. I was lost. I always had been.

"What about destiny?" I asked when we separated.

"I was never really fond of the idea anyway," she said smiling before burying her face in the crook of my neck and shoulder.

"This is going to get a lot more complicated isn't it?"

"Oh yeah," she replied nibbling at my neck again.

"How soon?"

"Very."

"Why?"

"Because I'm going to have to show you all the book."

"The book?" I asked distractedly. Her mouth was doing all sorts of wonderful things to me, but was making it extremely difficult to concentrate.

"The one that tells us who we are and why we're here," she said pulling back and looking at me seriously.

"Oh, that book," I replied dryly.

"Yeah, that book," she agreed before bringing her lips to mine once again.

End of Part Three

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