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Reply to IcalynnPosted to the RoswellSlash mailing list September 13, 2003
Pairing(s): M/M, Mi/K
Summary: Written for Muse #19. Sequel to Possibility; Michael reflects on his memories and feelings of the one afternoon, and the complications that arise.
Sept. 6 - Sept. 22
Muse #19 - A character(s) must remember a time, a place, or a person that has changed their life
Hushed voices whisper around me as we enjoy the small meal in front of us. Maria's voice rings in my ear with laughter, but all I could concentrate on is Kyle's empty seat.
"Earth to Spaceboy-" Maria laughs as she waves a hand over my eyes. I glance at her, her smile brightening. "What do you think?"
"Huh?" I gasp, losing my train of thought.
"Did you want to go a movie?" Max asked quickly before Maria could reply.
"Movie?" Kyle's voice breaks in as he rushes in and takes his seat at the table. "What's for dinner? I'm starving."
I can't help but chuckle at his bemused voice. I glance towards him, my eyes taking in his chiseled features. "What movie?" I question as I made myself look away from him.
"Well, girlfriend here-" Maria begins as she hits Max playfully on the shoulder. "Wants to see some ring movie and us girls want to see the new chick flick-" Maria rambles on.
"Ring movie?" I repeat as I turn to Max. "What ring movie?"
Max rolls his eyes in feign annoyance. "You know, 'The Lord of the Rings'-" he states slowly. "I've wanted to see it since Kyle keeps mumbling about it-"
I glance up at Kyle and I can't help but grin. "I could see it again-"
"But, you've seen it before!" Maria gasps in exacerbation. "Kyle? Please- tell me you don't want to see it again too!"
Kyle looks up and catches my gaze. "I could see it again," he repeats my own words with a twinkle in his eyes.
"Men," Maria pouts rolling her eyes in response.
"Fine." Isabel replies as she folds up her napkin and gets up. "It is due for us to have a little fun. We'll go to our movie, and you men can go to yours."
"Enjoy your movie-" I whisper into Maria's ear as we embrace.
"I wish you were watching the movie with me-" she sighs. "We haven't had a real date in ages."
"Maybe, next weekend?" I suggest as her eyes light up.
"Really? Just us?" She squeals in delight and then kisses me lightly, her fingers caressing my arms lightly.
"Really," I reply softly as I kiss her again. Her lips are soft and tender, her kiss loving- and nothing like his. My thoughts flash back to the memory he has burned permanently into my brain. I pull away feeling guilty.
"Enjoy your movie," She smiles, lighting up her eyes. "Again-" she laughs and turns to join the girls waiting for her down the hall.
"I will," I reply as I turn towards the boys. I watch as Max and Kyle talk- a weird feeling building inside me as Kyle's hand brushes against Max's arm. Their laughter rings in my ears as the feeling increases- Kyle smiles, laughing once more before turning to me.
"You ready?" he asks with the same heated look he gave me once before.
"Yeah," I manage to reply as my eyes flicker to his lips, my skin burning as I remember his kiss, his touch.
"Let's go," Max states in the same authoritative tone he has used on more then one occasion. My gaze locks with Kyle's as he rolls his eyes in response and I can't help but chuckle.
We enter the dark theater and round the corner. I look up into the stadium seating and I'm surprised that the theater is packed. We gaze through the rows of seats, finding no spot with three seats together. I watch as Max and Kyle separate going to two different spots. Max picks an empty seat that's dead center and I can't help but smile when I notice no seat beside him. I quickly catch up with Kyle as he takes a seat in the back row.
Kyle smiles as we sit down and the lights dim, turning to the screen I try not glance at him. I watch from the corner of my eyes as his gaze flicker across the screen.
Scenes fly by and a tingling sensation floods my abdomen as Kyle places a hand onto my thigh. "This is my favorite part," he whispers into me ear.
The blood pools in my groin and my thoughts flash back to the evening we shared together.
Kyle pulls away, not noticing the affect he had on my body. I silently curse at myself, at him- I'm a fool to even want to feel him inside me once more.
I begin to chant the same phrase over and over in my mind- it was only one evening, he promised me nothing else. But, it doesn't curb the attraction I feel.
The movie ends and the credits roll- I'll have to live with the memory. That's all I will have.
Another week passes and he hasn't acknowledged that anything happened between us. I find myself more sexually confused and frustrated then I have ever been before. How can he show me a possibility and then take it away?
"Ready?" Maria asks breaking me from my thoughts. I turn to her and smile at the outfit she chose to wear for me tonight. "Like it?" She questions with a bright smile as she turns around.
"Very nice," I offer with a smile and she frowns slightly. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," she quickly replies as she takes my hand. "Where are we going- just the two of us?"
"A quiet Italian place down the street from where I work," I explain as we head to the door.
"Sounds good," she muses as I reach for the door, only to have it swing in. I jump back slightly as Kyle walks in. I can't help but stare at him.
"Hey, guys-" he grins. "Didn't mean to step all over you-" he laughs as his gaze lingers across my chest and I immediately feel a tightness in my groin.
"We're going out-" Maria offers and Kyle turns his gaze to her.
"Damn Maria," Kyle gasps. "You are looking good tonight-" he flatters her as he walks over to her and spins her lightly around. "Don't be too cruel on him," he winks as he leans in and kisses her lightly on the cheek.
I feel my temper rise as Maria laughs and flirts back with him. He brushes his hand along her bare shoulder and I think I will burst in a rage if we don't go now.
"We should go," I offer as Maria and Kyle look at me.
"Well, have fun," Kyle smiles as his gaze locks with mine. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do-"
"We will," Maria laughs as she takes my hand and leads me out the door. Outside, I take the lead and walk her to the passenger side of the car. I open the door and help her into the car.
I get in and start the car. My hands grip tightly on to the steering wheel, my knuckles turning white.
"Jealousy, doesn't become you-" she sighs as I snap my head to look at her.
"What?" I gasp.
"Jealousy, Michael-" she begins as I roll my eyes in response. "You were about to rip Kyle's head off for flirting with me!"
"Maria-" I sigh as I try to retort her remarks. My voice fails me when I realize I couldn't explain my actions- I had been jealous. But, not for the reasons she thinks of- I wanted him to touch me, to flirt with me.
"It's ok-" Maria suddenly purrs. "I kinda liked it."
I nod and smile, "then let's go eat."
Our romantic dinner goes by quickly as we talk about the last few years. Dessert arrives and she suddenly looks up at me with a sad look in her eyes.
"Do you love me?" She questions and I almost spit my food out in shock.
"I love you, Maria-" I reply quickly without any thought, knowing it's true to my heart.
"Are you <I>in</I> love with me?" She inquires her eyes shining with unshed tears.
"Yes," I answer as I take her hand in mine. "Why do you even ask?"
"Your eyes seem so lost-" she whispers. "Is there another girl you've been seeing?"
"No. There is no other girl-" I reply honestly. There is no girl, but there is a someone-
"Truly?" she asks a sparkle in her eyes. I nod as I open my arms to her- she jumps up and wraps her arms around me. "I've missed this-"
I kiss her in response and stop only when we hear a loud cough. We pull apart and look up at the embarrassed waiter. "Your check?" he states softly and quickly leaves the table.
We glance at each other and burst out laughing. I place the cash on the table and we hurry out of the little restaurant. I gather her into my arms and I kiss her once more, pressing her against the car.
Her kiss unlocks the frustrated sexual tension I've been feeling for the last few weeks. Her tongue traces the curve of my lip and I moan into her mouth. The kiss deepens and her hands travel down my body.
"Maria," I moan as the tips of her finger brush against my straining erection.
"I need you," Maria whispers harshly between kisses.
"Let's get out of here-" I mumble back, pulling away from the heat of her body. I glance around the parking lot, knowing that we could not begin anything here.
"But, where?" she questions as she gets into the car. I stare at her with confusion as she purses her lips in thought. "It's late- everyone is at home by now."
"So?" I shrug as I shut her door and quickly cross to the driver's side door. She stares at me as I start the car. "What?"
"They'll be able to hear us-" she replies as she crosses her arms.
I can't help but roll my eyes, "So?"
"So?" she snaps back, her voice rising slightly. "I don't want an audience when we-"
"It's our home too-" I state firmly. "I don't give a flying fuck if they are there too. We hear Max and Liz all the time-"
"How so?" I question my anger rising.
"They are married-" she growls. "We are not."
I stare blankly at her, my anger diminishing at her words. "Maria-"
"I know Michael-" she sighs and turns away.
I sigh as our previous conversation resurfaces in my mind. We had decided to wait- when we could afford our own place, when we felt safe. That time has still not come.
I drive the car back to the crowded house we live in and park. Her hand covers mine and I flinch slightly at her touch, not wanting to start anything that I know we could not finish.
"I can't offer you marriage-" I whisper, not able to look into her eyes. "Not yet."
I hear her sigh and climb out of the car. I watch her walk to the front door and disappear through it. "Damn it." I curse as I too get out of the car. I head to the door as I hear the faint squeaking of shoes and a soft thumping of a ball. Basketball.
I quickly jog around back, to see Max and Kyle playing a little one on one on our makeshift court. All thoughts of the evening diminishing as I watch the sweat beading on Kyle's back.
"Hey," I call out as Max and Kyle glance up at me.
"You're back early-" Max comments with a sly smile. "We had a bet that you two wouldn't be back for hours."
"Ha. Ha." I deadpan as Kyle's gaze locks with mine, his piercing eyes unnerving me. "We can't afford to stay out." I shrug, feigning indifference.
"I'm beat," Max comments and throws the ball to me. "I think I'll call it a night."
"Come on," Kyle groans. "You can't leave the game- I was winning."
Max laughs and heads closer to the door. "Michael will give you a better run for your money."
"Sure, I can." I add with confidence as I start dribbling the ball.
"Can you?" Kyle questions as he follows the ball with his eyes, easily taking it away from me and throwing it into the basket. "Score."
"Is that all you got?" I challenge as his face brightens up. "Let the game begin-"
A few hours later, we are both panting for air and lying on the ground too tired to move. "Good game," He comments as I look over at him. The moonlight bathing his skin- I watch as he closes his eyes and licks his lips.
My already accelerated heartbeat hitched in pace as I stare at him, rubbing his hands down his chest, stretching his muscles.
Without another thought, I close the space between him. I can feel the heat radiating off his skin, "Kyle-"
"Hmm-" he responds as he turns his face and opens his eyes. His eyes widen as he realizes our positions. I reach over and wipe away a few droplets off his chest, my fingers trailing down his abs.
"Kyle," I snap as he grips my wrist and pulls my hand away.
"No-" he groans.
"Why not?" I grumble as I reach my other hand to touch his skin. He grabs my other wrist with his other hand, holding me at bay. "Damn it, Kyle-"
He pushes me away and pins me to the ground, his body covering mine. I close my eyes, relishing in the contact. "I will not be a substitute for Maria."
I blink up at him in shock. "Is that what you think?" I manage to ask as he lets go of me and pulls away from me.
"That's what it looks like to me-" he replies as he gets up and turns to walk away. "We shouldn't have been together."
His words sting and I stare at him. "Why?"
He sighs and turns back to me. "You love her- I don't want to be the reason for breaking you up-"
"What Maria and I have is so different than what we have-" I try to explain as I get up to follow him.
"What do we have?" He questions, his gaze piercing mine. "We had sex. There is nothing more."
I stare blankly at him, "Nothing?" I repeat as he nods, his eyes betraying what he states.
"Nothing." He repeats, once more before turning again, heading to the door.
"Liar," I find myself yelling back at him. He freezes as I quickly close the gap between us. I wrap my arms around him, preventing him from fleeing away. "Don't go-" I whisper as tighten my grip around him and kiss his neck.
He stiffens and struggles against me, "Let me go."
"No," I whisper as he suddenly stops protesting my advancement. I loosen my grip and turn him around. I can't help but grin as I pin him to the door and kiss his lips. "What are you afraid of?"
"My heart-" he whispers as I pull back and gaze into his eyes, slightly confused. "I can't loss my heart, again. If we are together one more time- it would be yours."
I drop my guard as his words sink in and my thoughts race. He slips through my arms and disappears into the house. I stare after him- my heart aching. He loves me-
But, he won't have me- he's afraid of me, of what could happen. He won't give us a chance, there are too many complications- I sigh in defeat and go in.
I toss and turn all night long, for too many nights in a row now. My heart aches and my thoughts run rampant. Maria- she is my heart, my home, and my love. Kyle- god, he is the man that has been haunting my dreams.
I glance towards his bed and I watch him sleep. Being this close to him is torture. He can undo me with a glance. If only he'd let me-
I sigh trying to clear my thoughts, sleep claiming me at last.
The alarm clock buzzes loudly, splitting the serene silence of the room. I grumble under my breath and pull the covers over my head. The blaring alarm seems to increase in pitch, "Kyle!" I groan throwing my covers aside as I reach over to turn off the alarm. "If you are going to set the damn alarm for five am, then-" I begin as I glance over at his bed and notice it was empty. "Kyle?" I question, feeling slightly alarmed.
The bed sheets were tangled on the floor and a trail of his things litter the ground out the door, heading towards the bathroom. I cross quickly over to the bathroom door and I strain to hear anything coming from within. "Kyle?" I question once more as I wait impatiently for an answer.
"Leave me be-" I hear a grumbled response.
My heart aches at the graveness of his voice. Disregarding his request, I pass my hand over the doorknob and hear a soft click. I try to open the door only to feel the weight of his body against it.
"No, Michael-" he groans as he presses back against the door.
"No," I answer firmly, using a little extra power to let me in. "What the fuck is going on?" I question as I close the door behind me. I gaze over at him and freeze in place.
My eyes graze over his broad chest and supple arms, my heart stopping as I notice the green bolts dancing on his skin. He sighs and sinks to the floor-
"How long?" I manage to ask as I continue to study his skin. I kneel beside him and I brush my hand against his skin, the tiny bolts nipping at my skin. "Does it hurt?"
"Yes," he whispers as he tenses and holds his breath as my hand travels up to the base of his neck. "Make it stop-" he begs, tears in his eyes.
"I don't-" I begin as we hear a rapping at the door.
"Who's in there?" A soft voice questions as I move to answer it. "I really have to pee!"
I sigh, hating the fact that the house only has one functional bathroom. I look towards Kyle, asking his permission to open the door without even voicing my thoughts.
He nods. "They'll find out soon anyways-" he replies, sounding defeated.
I open the door and Liz peaks in. Her skin paling as she notices Kyle behind me. "Oh, Kyle!!" she cries, rushing over to him. "When? How?"
"How do you think?" he snaps, the faint bolts growing brighter in the dim light.
"I have to tell Max!" Liz states as she runs out of the bathroom, apparently forgetting that she had to pee.
"Don't let him touch me-" Kyle pleads as I look at him with confusion. "I was there when Liz-" his voice breaks and I sink to my knees in front of me. "He-"
"What's going on?" Max questions as he barges into the bathroom. He stares at Kyle and pushes me aside as he brings his hands towards Kyle.
My heart clinches as Kyle cries out in agony as Max's hands touches his skin. The angry bolts jumping off of Kyle's skin. "Nooo-" he cries, trying to escape.
"Don't." I yell, pulling Max away. "Can't you see that you are making it worse-"
"Just like Liz," Max gasps as he backs away and turns to Liz.
I gaze at Kyle's crumpled form on the tile floor, my heart aching. "Make it go away." I command as I turn to Max.
"I can't-" Max whispers as he turns away, unable to look at Kyle again.
"Max!" I cry angrily at him, enraged that he would not even try to help him-
"No. He can't do it-" Kyle mumbles and I turn back to him even more confused. "If he couldn't help her- why would he be able to help me?"
I watch stunned as he struggles to stand up and heads for the door. He looses his footing as a wave of pain contorts his face. I offer my hand and after a heated glance, he takes it.
We shuffle back to our room and I lock the door, not wanting any distractions for the care I am determined to give.
"Let me help-" I whisper as I reach out to him, touching his aching skin. He flinches slightly at my touch, but doesn't push me away. "Let me soothe your pain-"
He stares up at me; our positions are reversed from the last time we were both on his bed. "Michael," he groans as I continue to run my hands up and down his bare skin.
"Shh-" I whisper as I close the lingering distance and kiss him. I hold my breath as I wait for him to respond, to acknowledge it. I press my lips harder against his, my lungs burning as my body begins to tremble.
He sighs against my lips and licks them tentatively, granting me access to him. I take a shuddering breath of relief, before I kiss him deeper, harder. The faint bolts of electricity nip lightly at my skin, before fading away.
I smile as I realize that the stored energy that caused him pain has been redirected to his lust. He wraps his arms around me, pulling me closer. He pulls away from me slightly and begins to kiss my racing pulse point. "You have far too much clothes on-" he whispers as he continues to trail kisses down my neck.
I nod, wanting nothing more then to be with him, to relive the memories of the evening weeks ago. My heart beats faster; I want this more then last time. I want him. I need him.
He rips the tank top of my body and quickly reveres our positions with a wrestling move he used years ago in play. He grinds his hips against mine, my arousal growing larger as I feel his hardness against mine.
Coherent thoughts have left me; all I can feel is him. His body on top of mine, his rough hands touching me, caressing me- wet kisses that light a fire down my body. Engulfing me.
"Now!" I groan. "I need you-" I gasp as he inserts a finger into my puckered opening. "Kyle-" I gasp as I my hips squirm against his touch, needing further contact.
I whimper lightly, surprised at my own neediness as he removes his finger away. My hips buck on their own accord, searching for the release he offered me.
He leans over me and kisses me harder as he insert two fingers, moving slowly teasing me as his fingertips brush against the sweet spot within my body. "Kyle-" I pant unable to form any other words.
"Michael," he moans as he removes his hand. I watch with a lustful haze as he takes his erection into this hand and rubs the few drops of purulent semen from the tip down his long shaft.
My body aching with anticipation, I can't help but cry out in frustration as he teases my opening with the tip of his penis. "Kyle-"
His lip curls up with a sly smile. "What do you want me to do?" He questions his voice husky and deep with need.
"Fuck me." I groan as he pulls my hips roughly to him, leaving me breathless as he enters me. "Fuck!" I cry as he slowly moves in and out of me. Aiming and hitting the sweet spot, stars erupting before my eyes.
I move with him, taking him deeper and with more force. God, how I've craved for this-
"Michael." He pants as I squeeze my muscles around his shaft.
"Kyle-" I groan as he wraps his hand against my own straining erection. He pumps in sync with his thrusts, with the same urgent need-
My orgasm peeks with his, but with a power unknown to me he holds onto our orgasms until they reach a frantic peek. We cry out as I feel a power erupt in him, between us.
I franticly try to catch my breath as he falls breathless onto my body. An orgasmic high encompasses us-
Time passes by before the rushing feeling fades. I wrap my arms around him and I touch his arms gently looking for any signs of the former offending bolts. I smile and relax even more, relishing in the fact that he was still inside of me.
I look at the time and I don't care about the complications of missing work- by the whispered voices in the hall. All that mattered to me was that he was in my arms- complications, be damned.
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