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Beloved Unloved 4: Just a Kiss

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Added to the Roswell Slash Archive June 30, 2002

Author: DMartinez
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Metz, Katims and UPN. No infringement intended.
Rating: R (language)
Category: Breakfast club
Summary: Prequel to the Rain/White Roses/Truth series. Michael had an impulse.

        We're supposed to be watching for a nest of Skins at the warehouse across the street but I can't keep my mind on the game. Max's smell is driving me crazy. The way he moves is... it makes me hungry. Every time our eyes meet, we look away just as quickly. I wonder if Liz has noticed.

        She has to have. The tension in the air is so thick, sometimes I think I'm going to choke. I barely hear her say she's going to take her turn in the shower. I don't even glance at her because all I can see is Max's reflection in the window as he's laying on the bed behind me.

        Is it wrong to want your best friend like this? Max and I have barely been friends lately. Whenever we need him to do something, he asks Liz first and then plans out everything very carefully. I can't wait that long. I need to do something, which is why this damn stakeout pisses me off.

        I suppose it's better than doing that senior crap Maria had planned for this weekend but still. We should be doing more than watching and waiting. "Fuck."

        "Michael, calm down. They're there. We just have to wait them out." He tells me. Doesn't even look in my direction when he talks to me. Does he feel it too? I can't let myself entertain the idea for too long. It doesn't matter. Max loves Liz. Liz loves Max. Maria loves me but... I love Max. I don't even know when this started. I've even resorted to being patient just to keep him in my presence a little longer than before.

        "Michael?" See, I didn't even notice him sit up and tap my shoulder until he said my name. I turn and his face is really close to mine. "Are you okay? Is something going on with Maria? Liz told me that you were too happy to break your date with her this weekend."

        "It wasn't a date." I shrug. It's true. It wasn't a date. "She wanted me to sign up for some stupid community service to get senior credit or some shit for some stupid senior activity that has something to do with a letter jacket."

        I want to wipe that damn smirk off Max's face. I wonder if he can see through it. That I really blew off Maria so I could spend more time with Max... in a cramped room with him and Liz.

        "Why do you think Liz and I volunteered for this little excursion?" Max laughs and gives me that half-smile of his that could light up a Christmas tree. I can't help myself.

        I place my hand on his neck and I press my lips to his. I find myself deepening the kiss. I lick at his lips and he opens up for me. I hesitate to put my tongue in his mouth but this could be my one chance. My only chance to taste Max and have our tongues caressing each other, to have our bodies so close, occasionally touching.

        When the water shuts off, I snap out of it. I get up off the bed and stare out the window. Max doesn't say anything but I can feel his eyes boring holes in my head. And of course, Mr. Sensitive wants to talk about it. "Michael?"

        "What?" Should I act like it never happened? Should I talk about how I'm probably becoming gay? How I'm in love with my best friend?

        "Why?" He asks me and I shrug. I'm grateful that Liz chooses that moment to come out of the shower. I grab my bag and I'm inside before she's even out of the small bathroom closet.

        She gives me an odd look and keeps going. That pause allows me to notice how sheer her night shirt is. The girl doesn't wear a bra to bed. Least I know I'm not gay or else that would not have given me a hard on.

        I flip on the water and don't care that it's cold. For once I'm grateful girls take such long showers. I need to cool off. My attraction to Max on top of the sight of nipples has me craving a cold shower anyway.

        I take my time washing up and for once take note of myself. I wish I had a body like Max. He's... cut and I've got a tendency to be flabby... but then I don't have all that sexual frustration built up inside of me like he does. I've been over when he gets off the phone with Liz at night and he goes into muscle-man mode to work off how she puts him off. I could care less if Maria and I ever get there. Duh, I'd love it but I could care less if it happens.

        When I get out of the shower, I see them kissing and I want that. I feel like a prick for standing there and watching them play tonsil hockey but I do it anyway. It's not as bad as I tend to describe it. The have this thing where everything they do is so much more... romantic than if someone else were to do the exact same thing.

        Finally, I cough and they split up. Max grabs his bag and brushes past me. I refuse to look him in the eye. Why in the hell did I kiss him? In the back of my mind I know he kissed me back but... I started it.

        "We, uh... we ordered a couple of pizzas." Liz tells me while she stares out the window. I just shrug and sit on the bed next to her to stare at the warehouse. I go into this trance-like state where I see the warehouse but I don't. I hear Liz's uneven breathing and her fiddling with the hem of her nightshirt. In my peripheral I see her biting her lip and those should have been signs. I know she's nervous but about what?

        I barely feel the bed shift under her weight or notice that the dip is coming closer to me. If I was paying attention then maybe I would have ran away. I feel her hand on my shoulder. She kneads my shoulder and it feels so good that I close my eyes and drop my head onto my chest. Why am I letting her touch me? I just tried to steal her boyfriend while she was in the shower. She doesn't stop. She works both sides, I never knew when she moved behind me.

        Liz's hands move down my back and my head rolls backward. It just feels so good. There it is. Her breath on my cheek, her hair touching mine. I should have taken note. She lifts one hand to my cheek, turning my face slightly and she kisses me.

        I'm in too much shock to do anything but kiss her back. Once my brain unfreezes, I realize that Max must have told her that I kissed him. I pull away and immediately want back for more. She keeps her eyes closed and I realize, not for the first time, how beautiful she is. How perfect she is for Max, how perfect she is in and of herself. Liz and I don't have a good relationship as friends and here she is kissing me because Max told her to, I'm sure.

        My fingers touch her face and she leans into my hand. I have to swallow the lump in my throat before I can lean back in and kiss her again. This time I let the kiss go just as deep as the kiss I gave to Max. It's odd. I have never thought of kissing Liz before and here I am realizing that if I want Max, I have to go through Liz. No, I have to want Liz too. The way she kisses me complements the way Max kissed me back.

        When we pull back, I realize a couple of things. When Liz kisses Max, it's a full body movement. When I kissed Max, I brought him close; our chests touched. When Liz and I kissed just now... She touched my face and leaned in, I touched her face and leaned in. This is awkward for us.

        "Why did you kiss him?" She asks me. Of course she does, Max is hers, not mine, hers.

        "I had to." And I can't even look her in the eye when I say it.

        "We can... he wants..." She's fumbling over her words and I can tell she has no clue what to do with this situation. It's not all neat and tidy. There are three people involved here and if it doesn't work, somebody's going to get hurt.

        "I don't want to lose anyone." Max speaks up from the bathroom doorway. I start to protest and he waves his hand for me to shut up and I actually do for once. "Before anyone says anything. I kissed Michael back because I wanted to. I asked Liz to do this for me so that I don't have to lose either one of you. I love you both and I'm going to make this work... but only if you guys want it, too."

        "What is this?" I ask.

        "I'm just voicing what's been going on. Liz and I love each other. I've been feeling attracted to you and now I know you feel the same way... right?" He looks at me and I nod slowly. "So... I've been thinking about this. I can't just go back and forth between the two of you. That's not right."

        I don't know what he's talking about and Liz sees this. She touches my hand. "What he means is that... It can't be you and me sharing him. It has to be all of us... together... a threesome, I guess."

        "So... Liz and I have to... be together if you and I are together." I say slowly. I keep talking. I think it's the most I've said in weeks to anyone. "So... I don't get jealous of her or her of me and... so no one resents anyone. Do I got it?"

        "Essentially." Max nods. He's obviously been thinking an awful lot about this. "I don't know how this works but I do know I'm willing to try... if you guys are."

        The phone rings and Max goes down to the front desk to get the pizzas. Liz and I talk a bit. We're going to do this... for Max.

        "Michael, it's not that I'm not thrilled to be touched by anyone but Max but... it's going to take me some time to get used to you. I think we need to spend some time together later and work out the kinks with you and me." She's so brave and so beautiful, it's easy to see why Max loves her. I suddenly feel self-conscious. We're asking Liz to take a step down from what she's used to. Max is perfect and I'm not. I think my face must have said it all because she gives me a smile and touches my neck lightly. "It's not that I'm not attracted to you. You're... you're good, Michael."

        We laugh a little and she looks me in the eye. "I'm not just saying that. You've got a lot going for you and I can see why Maria drooled over you for so long before..."

        As she trails off we both think of Maria. Now that my ego has a little boost and we're on the subject I speak first. "Don't tell her about any of this. She won't understand unless she sees it coming."

        Liz blinks at me. "How did you know that?"

        "I'm with the girl 15 hours a day or more." I shrug. Maria isn't really all that complicated as an understanding but keeping her happy is another matter. "I don't want to hurt her too much and if she sees this happening, it's better than if we just tell her."

        "Okay. I agree. You and I will spend more and more time together, getting used to being together away from Max." She nods and she crosses her arms, taking her hand away from me. When I notice how stiffly she holds herself, I realize something. Liz has always compared herself physically to Maria.

        "You're beautiful." I tell her. That's not what I mean to say. I mean to say she's beautiful, more beautiful than Isabel, that beautiful doesn't cover it because it doesn't. That she's a beautiful person and a beautiful woman. "You're beautiful."

        "I'm not. I'm short and flatchested and I don't know what Max sees in me." She whispers and I put an arm around her.

        "He loves you and you know he would still love you if you were the hunchback of Notre Dame." I tell her. It's not poetry but she gets the point and relaxes.

        When Max gets back we eat and chat, small talk, eye the warehouse and get ready for bed. I brush my teeth and sit on the edge of the bed to take my watch of the warehouse. That doesn't last long because then Max is kissing me, then he's kissing Liz and then she kissing me.

        Just kissing and I never knew that just kissing could feel so good. I take my time to savor Max's mouth. Liz and I explore each other's mouth a little each time, just getting used to the feel of it. I could actually watch them kiss forever.

        We fall asleep. Liz is between us, her face presses into Max's chest. He strokes her back with one hand and the other plays with my hand until I take it and roll closer to Liz's body.

        It's strange. It's damn strange but we're just learning. I'm beginning to see why Max is insisting on this. They are soulmates and I can't just have one. I have to have both or I kill one of them... or just myself. Who knew just a kiss could do so much damage or create such perfection.

Continue to part 5

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