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Beloved Unloved 3: Truth
Reply to DM or visit her websiteAdded to the Roswell Slash Archive June 30, 2002
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Metz, Katims, and UPN. No infringement intended.
Summary: Michael's decision to stay.
I didn't even feel Liz get up. I woke up because the empty champagne bottle was digging into my back. Max is lying next to me, snoring. I have to shower and think, so I leave him alone.
As the water beats down on me, I let my mind wander. I stayed last night. It means that I am ready to commit. Damn, how strange is it that I can't give Maria what she wants no matter how much I try but the two of them, Max and Liz, ask nothing more than to stay? Am I being a coward? Am I taking the easy way out?
That can't be right because being with Max and Liz is much more complicated than trying to keep Maria happy. This threesome is not just about sex, there are emotional ties that I will never understand. I can remember when it started.
We were staking out a potential threat and it was just the three of us in a hotel room senior year. Max and I had been trying to deal with the way we were drawn to each other. While Liz was taking her turn in the shower, I kissed him and he kissed me back.
Later it was my turn and then Max's, leaving Liz and I alone. They must have talked while I was in the shower because she kissed me. It was then I realized the pull wasn't just to Max. They are one complete soul. I can't have Max if I don't have Liz and vice versa. That night in the hotel was one of talking and kissing, barely anything more.
It was strange. After a weekend of being close to them, going to school and pretending nothing happened was torture. It was unspoken but we were going to make it work. Liz had to trust me, so we spent a lot of time together. We became like the 3 Musketeers. No one really questioned it. After Max and Liz became physical, it was extended to me.
I kept up with Maria because... I didn't know what else to do. I still don't. When they got married, I moved in with Maria. She became my security blanket. When things got too intense with Max and Liz... I ran to her.
When I get out of the shower, Max is gone. I find him in the kitchen. "Morning."
"Morning." I say and without thinking or even taking a good look at the table, I go to him and claim my morning kiss. If I had looked at the table, I would have seen her purse.
"Max... What the hell?" Maria's voice breaks us apart. "Michael? Where are your clothes?"
" I just don't know what to say.
"Michael? You didn't tell her?" Max turns to me, a hurt look in his eyes.
"No... You two are not together. Max. What about Liz?" Maria shouts.
"She knows." Max answers, he stays by my side.
"Let me get this straight. I came all the way over here to ask you where my boyfriend was and he was here the entire time? He was with you and Liz knew?"
"Yeah." I answer her.
"How long has this been going on?" She asks. She doesn't even have tears in her eyes. I never have a clue what's going on with her.
"You don't want the answer to that." Max jumps in. "I thought you knew. I really did."
"Liz is just okay with this? She just lets her husband and his best friend... whatever?" She's mad, angry, upset... but not sad.
"Let us? She joins us." Where the hell is that filter?
"No." Her green eyes close. "Liz would tell me, she wouldn't do that to me."
"I knew you wouldn't understand." I say and go to get dressed. She follows me, so I keep talking. "This isn't just sex. It's about love and respect."
"How can you love both of them but you can't love me? Huh?"
I yank on my clothes. "I don't know. I just do. They have something that can't be replicated. Some of that just happens to spill over to me. I give them what I can and they accept it, me for who I am. When have you ever done that?"
"All the time."
"No you don't. You have only succeeded in making me feel inadequate and alien. They... make me wonder why they find me worthy." I say. It's the most that I've said to her in weeks. "You're always trying to change me into something that I'm not. I can't give you 6 nearly perfect years of dating followed by 10 perfect years of marriage."
"That's not what I want. Excepting the past two years, when I haven't been with you. I've been with them."
She spun on her heel and walked out to Max. I stood there and listened to their conversation.
"I need him, Maria. The last two years without him have been hell. Liz hasn't been the same either. I really thought you knew... that one of them had told you."
"I can't believe this. How long, Max?"
"Since high school."
"Stakeout in Pheonix."
"No. When he came back, we... talked and months after we... made love for the first time."
"So did we."
I had to step in. "Maria."
"What?" She didn't look at me.
"Remember the rave sophomore year?"
"Of course I do, you ass."
"What did you tell me?" I know what she said. I knew I was going to hurt her that night but the lack of faith in that conversation made a lasting impression.
"'What we have is not true love...' Fine." Maria nods to me. "Fine."
I guess I just want to put that past me. I admitted to myself that I wanted to stay. I admitted to Maria what was going on. I guess that moment of truth stuff is real.
"I'll find a job here. Won't be too hard." I tell Max.
"Max, he'll be fine. Not everyone wants to work on old actress asses like you." Liz laughs, hugging me.
"Hey, I gave you those. I can take them away." Max threatens her. I turn slightly to give her breasts a squeeze, reminding Max what fun they are.
"But it'd look suspicious if I showed up at the lab, flatchested and didn't ask for a day to recover." Liz teases. We've already settled into a routine.
"Fine, keep them. Not like I had to perform surgery to get them anyway." Max sighs. It's just the three of us in the living room, eating popcorn and ignoring the nightly news. He clears his throat. "Maria called me. She's mailing you your stuff. We can throw it in the extra room."
That's the last we talk about her. We're happy. For me that's a real first. Knowing just how this situation works... it's delicate and difficult but feeling this complete doesn't come another way.
Continue to part 4
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