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Reply to Debbie or visit her websiteSent to the Roswell Slash Archive November 4, 2000
Title: First Kiss
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters. They all belong to Melinda Metz, et al
Summary: An old journal entry reveals the details of Liz's first kiss.
Feedback always welcome!
I'm Liz Parker, and it's been quite a day. My heart is still pounding to match the sound of the rain, and I'm having a little trouble holding my pen, 'cause I'm still shaking.
Maria came over after school, like she usually does. There was a storm brewing outside, so we were just hanging out in my room, trying on makeup and talking about homework and boys at school and stuff like that. Then Maria started teasing me about how I've never kissed a boy before. Not that she's the world's greatest expert herself -- I mean, just kissing Jimmy Hernandez a couple of times under the bleachers does not make you the kissing queen. But still, it's more experience than I've had. And, now that I'm 15, I'm finally going to be allowed to date, so I guess she had a point when she said I'd better practice so I'd know what to do.
She threw me a pillow off of my bed. "Here, pretend it's your date." She grabbed a pillow for herself and demonstrated. "Now, you just hold him like this"--she embraced her pillow--"and close your eyes and pucker up!" She gave her pillow a giant, lip-smacking smooch. I tried to copy her, but I just ended up laughing instead.
"I'm sorry, I just can't do this -- pretend the pillow is a person, that is." I choked out between giggles. "It just feels too bizarre."
"Come on, use your imagination. Just close your eyes and pretend he's tall, dark, and handsome."
I tried again. I managed to at least temporarily forget how goofy I felt at kissing a pillow, and I made what I thought was a good effort. Not good enough, apparently. I heard Maria give a great sigh of disapproval.
"No, no. You still don't have the hang of it. Here, practice on me."
To be honest, I didn't really think anything of it. I mean, Maria and I have been best friends for a million years -- we've gone through everything together, all the major milestones. She's my closest friend, hands down, and the thought of using her for kissing practice was no big deal at all.
I cast aside my failed pillow partner and went over to where she stood. I hesitated for a second (I'd never kissed anyone, after all -- where did one start?), then figured I'd just do it and see what happened. So I just leaned in and brought my lips to meet hers.
I was totally surprised at how it felt to have another person's lips beneath yours. All warm, soft, and responsive. It was an immediately addictive sensation. I forgot everything else as I lost myself in the feel of the kiss. At first, they were gentle, tentative kisses. But as Maria's mouth molded to mine, giving as much as taking, I began to feel the electricity, the heat that I've heard people talk about -- now I know why it's often described as hunger. I wanted more. The kisses increased in heat, and before long I felt her tongue running along my lips, seeking entrance. I parted my lips, felt her do the same. I couldn't think, I couldn't stop. Maria's tongue caressed mine, and instinctively I copied her. I don't know how long we stayed like that, kissing, tasting, exploring. It felt like forever and like a split second, all at once. I just know that my whole body cried out to get even closer, closer.
And then there was a huge clap of thunder outside. We both jumped a mile and I came back to myself in a rush. My left hand was cupping Maria's breast, and Maria's hands were on my butt, pulling us as close together as possible. We were both breathing heavily. What had just happened here? What would have happened?
We broke apart, somewhat awkwardly, neither one of saying anything for a few minutes. Then Maria announced that she'd better get home before the storm got worse, and she left. I sat on my bed in the darkening room trying to collect myself, and then figured I'd just write in my journal to try to sort everything out. I'm starting to calm down now, a little. But I can still feel her lips on mine, her body against me.
I'm Liz Parker. Wow, I was just rereading old journal entries and I came across the one from the day when Maria and I kissed. I remember how, although our parting was awkward, Maria was back to her normal self the next day and I knew never to mention it again. It's been more than a year now -- my pillow did turn into someone tall, dark, and handsome (and alien): Max. And Maria's found her own alien in Michael. I'd like to say I'd forgotten all about that day in my room until I re-read that journal entry, but I haven't. There was something so amazing about that kiss; I can still get aroused just thinking about it. Maria seems pretty happy with Michael, and Max is very sweet. But I can't help thinking sometimes of what might have been, what might have happened between Maria and me if we hadn't stopped. I guess I'll never know for sure, and I'll have to make do with those nights when I see Maria in my dreams.
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