RSA Main Fiction by Title Fiction by Author Fiction by Partners Slash Subplots Familiar Faces Links


Closer to Gay, by Max Evans

Reply to Kate or visit her website

Added to the Roswell Slash Archive June 3, 2001

[Archivist's note: this was originally posted in response to a request for "filk" by the archivist of the Guilty Pleasures archive, which is for all genres of Roswell fanfic. I have copied their formatting.]

Closer to Gay, by Max Evans
(sung to the tune of Closer to Fine, by Indigo Girls)
By: Kate Rating: PG
Disclaimer: No infringement intended. To anyone.



I'm tryina tell you something bout my life
maybe give me a choice between Liz and the wife
and the best thing you've ever done for me
is to teach me about sexuality
cause there's more than straight after all
yeah...

Well, Kyle has a body that's incredible
and Michael has a pout that's hard to beat
And I wrapped my Liz around me like a blanket
I sailed my ship of straightness till I sank it
now I crawlin on gay shores

I went to the porn sites, I went to Liz Parker!
I turned to Tess Harding, I even tried to fuck her!

But none of these things ever worked for me
they just couldn't make my day
And the less I turn to girls to get me off (the less I turn to girls)
the closer I am to gay!
the closer I am to gay!

I went to talk to Michael at his apartment
with the posters of girls, about who I knew he dreamt
he held up a porno, he said, Dude, let's watch this
I thought it would be perfect, I really tried to enjoy it
But I spent the whole time wanting to touch his thigh
instead of girls, I dreamed of him

I went to the porn sites, I went to Liz Parker!
I turned to Tess Harding, I even tried to fuck her!

But none of these things ever worked for me
they just couldn't make my day
And the less I turn to girls to get me off (the less I turn to girls)
the closer I am to gay!
the closer I am to gay!

I stopped by Tess's at 3 AM
to seek arousal in her bosom, or possibly her hand
but nothing came up till I saw Kyle walk in the door
then I was twice as horny as I'd ever been before
and it wasn't from her hot lovin!

Oh I went to the porn sites, I went to Liz Parker!
I turned to Tess Harding, I even tried to fuck her!
Yeah, I tried to be arroused, I tried to want to do them!
But, I was thinking about Michael, and how I wanted to woo him!
So, now I go to the chat rooms, I go to the gay bar!
I put a pride sticker, on the bumper of my new car!

Cause none of those women ever worked for me
they just couldn't make my day
so now I don't turn to girls to get me off ( now I don't turn to girls)
And now I am gay!
And now I am gay!
I'm so glad I'm gay!




Real lyrics:

I'm trying to tell you something about my life
maybe give me insight between black and white
and the best thing you've ever done for me
is to help me take my life less seriously
it's only life after all
yeahwell darkness has a hunger that's insatiable
and lightness has a call that's hard to hear
i wrap my fear around me like a blanket
i sailed my ship of safety till i sank it
i'm crawling on your shoresi went to the doctor, i went to the mountains
i looked to the children, i drank from the fountains
there's more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in a crooked line
and the less i seek my source for some definitive
(the less i seek my source)
the closer i am to fine
the closer i am to fineand i went to see the doctor of philosophy
with a poster of rasputin and a beard down to his knee
he never did marry or see a b-grade movie
he graded my performance, he said he could see through me
i spent four years prostrate to the higher mind
got my paper and i was freei went to the doctor, i went to the mountains
i looked to the children, i drank from the fountains
there's more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in a crooked line
the less i seek my source for some definitive
(the less i seek my source)
the closer i am to fine
the closer i am to finei stopped by the bar at 3 a.m.
to seek solace in a bottle or possibly a friend
and i woke up with a headache like my head against a board
twice as cloudy as i'd been the night before
and i went in seeking clarity.i went to the doctor, i went to the mountains
i looked to the children, i drank from the fountains
yeah we go to the doctor, we go to the mountains
we look to the children, we drink from the fountains
yeah we go to the bible, we go through the workout
we read up on revival and we stand up for the lookout
there's more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in a crooked line
the less i seek my source for some definitive
(the less i seek my source)
the closer i am to fine
the closer i am to fine
the closer i am to fine

Return to Top