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Ante, Part Eight

Reply to CJ

Posted to the RoswellBDSM mailing list March 30, 2001

Title: Ante 8/?
Author: CJ
Disclaimer: I don't own Roswell. If I did, Kyle and Alex would be no one's flunkies.
Rating: NC-17. You know how old you are.
Feedback: Would be great. From the approximately two people who are still reading this epic. (And I think they know who they are.)
Notes: Don't do this stuff at home, unless you know what you're doing. Even then I might advise against letting people tie you up who can throw you against the wall with their mind



        "I just thought you and me and Mr. Guerin," Lonnie pushed Maria onto her side, facing Michael and climbed behind her, her breath hot in Maria's ear, "would have a nice, long, hot conversation."

        Maria shivered. Michael, stroking himself and gazing at the sheen on Maria's skin, looked confused. He hadn't been paying attention.

        "A conversation?" Meera managed to get out, despite the quaver in her voice. "Is that a euphemism?"

        "Nah, it's the thing itself. Cause you and me, we don't need the whips or chains, do we? Or the titles or exotic underwear...not that I haven't enjoyed all of those things." Lonnie smirked. "We don't even need my fists or your whimpers. Really, we just need our voices...and our wills."

        Lonnie's laugh was low and throaty. "I've gotten rough with you lately, right baby? I don't need to be so cruel though...I can be very, very sweet. And right now, I'm concerned with your needs, and your, what the fuck is it, empowerment. And of course your self- actualized potential and personal growth dynamics. Because, Maria, I do want you to be all that you can be, especially because you're so devoted to being what I want you to be."

        Snuggled in her bed and a little groggy from the warmth and earlier activities, Maria was still pretty sure that Lonnie's words held both genuine love and hidden threats. Lonnie's statements usually did.

        "So...because, lovely brat, this is all about you and your needs, why don't you tell me what it is you need?"

        "You." Maria's voice was breathy, but held conviction.

        "That's cute, little minx, but not very accurate. Or at least not very complete. Do you need me to stay by your side as a friend? Or as a gentle lover? A longtime companion?"

        "I need you to be what you are. Implacable and gorgeous and my protector." Maria tried to turn on her back to look at Lonnie, but Lonnie held her firmly in position.

        "No, little bitch. You wanted him here as protection from me, so watch him. Derive your comfort from his eyes."

        Maria looked at Michael. He was leaning back, even now creating distance between them. His eyes were dark but unreadable and his face was impassive. Maria wondered what he thought about this.

        And then Lonnie's voice was back, wiping away all other thoughts from Maria's mind. "When I came here tonight, it was to swear my everlasting fealty to you and make you mine. To wipe away all your thoughts about me ever turning to another. To atone for sins that I wouldn't dream of committing." Tears sprang to Maria's eyes from the combination of devotion and anger in Lonnie's voice. "But I am not the one whose adoration seems to be in question. Perhaps I've pushed too hard; maybe I shouldn't give this much, this soon."

        "Please..." Maria wasn't sure if what she was asking for was forgiveness or punishment.

        "Shhhh. It's OK, baby. We'll get this started now." Lonnie half purred, half growled in Maria's ear.

        Maria waited. She tried again to turn to look at Lonnie, but her head was again forced back towards Michael. "Lonnie? What do you want me to do?"

        "I want you to talk. I want you to explain to me what this is all about."

        Maria tried but everything that ran through her mind sounded trite. "It is...love and..." She fell silent, awaiting Lonnie's displeasure.

        Lonnie sighed. "Let's start easier then. What do you think about when you're alone?"

        This was an easy one. "You."

        "What about me?"

        "Your voice, and what you make me do...what you make me want to do and what you allow me to let myself do. Bruises and your eyes, always helping me survive whatever your hands and mouth are doing to me."

        "God, you little slut. Most people would talk about their hopes and dreams, not sick sexual fantasies." Lonnie's laughter was mocking and light. "Is your only ambition to be my little toy? It is lucky for you I decided to rescue you from the banality of your own mind."

        Oh, Maria thought, I'm predictable, am I?

        "I thought I'd better target your interest areas, since both of you have limited attention spans." Maria smirked. "My thoughts are no more than 90% sexual. If you'd like to hear my 12 step plan for a successful music career, I'd be happy to outline it for you, down to the song list for my first album."

        There was another silence. "I didn't know you sang." Lonnie's voice was quiet and almost unsettled.

        "I do. Would you like a list of my public appearances? To discuss how I warm up? How deep do you want to go into the minutiae of my life? Is it such a shock to learn that you don't know that much about me, after all?" Maria wished she could see Lonnie's eyes; Michael's gaze had remained steady throughout.

        Lonnie placed a hand on Maria's hip, and squeezed warningly. "Enough."

        "Then don't act like I'm some one-dimensional flake who is an extra in your life."

        Maria felt Lonnie breathe on her neck. "Maria, you're an intoxicating, brave,utterly unique slut who I am going to bind, whip, degrade and fuck senseless at the earliest possible opportunity."

        Maria smiled. Lonnie had given her an apology. Of sorts.

        "Let's move on. Maria, what did you...fantasize...about before me?"

        "Sexually?" Maria was enjoying being the provacateur. She could almost hear Lonnie roll her eyes.

        "Obviously."

        Maria thought. She should say Michael. She wanted to say Michael. Only, it wasn't really true. Not that she wasn't incredibly attracted to him. She was, but Michael had always remained somewhat inscrutable to her. It was hard to fantasize about someone when you had no idea what they were going to do. Their relationship had consisted of him sometimes being so forceful and demanding, like during the heatwave where she had had to be the "voice of reason" and at other times, him being cold and aloof. Sometimes sweet, sometimes cold, sometimes fiery: it was chaotic and exhilarating, but not easy to construct a coherent seduction plotline around. Once, Maria had masturbated to a long and complex fantasy of a masked Michael dressed in black, only to wake up the next morning with sticky thighs and the realization that her erotic creation borrowed extensively from an old episode of Zorro.

        Lonnie always knew when she was lying. Maria took a deep breath and steeled herself for the hurt look Michael would have. "I thought about Isabel."

        Something flickered in Michael's eyes, but Maria wasn't sure it was hurt.

        "Tell us about some of your thoughts..." Lonnie whispered.

        Maria swallowed hard. "Right after the whole destiny thing," she paused and saw Michael nod,"I thought about Isabel coming up to me while I was at my locker..."

        --------------

        I can feel her standing behind me, but I didn't hear her approach. I turn and she's so tall and she's looking at me with scorn.

        "Are you still thinking about him?" she asks.

        I nod miserably. "I'm sorry. I can't stop."

        "You'll have to be punished, Maria. You're not allowed to think about my property."

        Even though I would swear we've never done this before, I turn and brace my hands on my locker door, on the edge and handle and wait.

        I feel her nails scrape along my back as she pushes my skirt and panties down. There is a pause and then she spanks me hard and I gasp. Her hand tangles in my hair and pulls it back, exposing my neck. She bites my neck and spanks me again and again. Finally, she releases me and I collapse to the ground crying.

        "You'll have to learn control, Maria." I hear her say and then I only hear the clicking of her high heels as she walks away.

        I sit there and hear someone approach me and stop, but I don't look up and eventually I hear them move away.

        -----------

        Maria's body was shaking, and she averted her eyes. She wouldn't look at Michael, she wouldn't.

        Lonnie whispered "Very good, Maria. Was that the only fantasy?"

        "No." Maria heard herself admit. "There were others."

        "Then continue."

        Maria shut her eyes and complied.

        -----------

        I'm waitressing at the Crashdown. Tess and Isabel are sitting across from each other in a booth, and Michael's at the grill and other than that it is empty. I walk over to get their order and Isabel pulls me into the booth with them, onto her lap and slides me between her legs. Tess quirks an eyebrow but doesn't really say anything.

        They continue to talk about Antar, and school, and Max and Michael. Isabel strokes my neck and collarbones, but basically ignores me. I sit there so patient, not asking for anything.

        Isabel unbuttons the top button of my uniform, and lets her hand rest there. I can feel my heart speeding up, but I know I shouldn't move. She moves her hand down, and unbuttons the next, pushing the uniform off my shoulders.

        Tess looks at me for a moment. "She's pretty." She says to Isabel, but it's like an observation, no warmth, just clinical interest.

        "She is," Isabel agrees, "and she'll do anything I tell her to."

        I want to protest, but I can't.

        "Are you using your powers to control her?" Tess asks.

        "You don't have to with this slut," Isabel replies, "she's so eager to be used. I'm really doing her a favor by treating her this way. Otherwise, who knows what she'd be up to."

        Her hands move to slide my bra off my shoulders, and cup my breasts. Lust floods me and shame, as I see Michael watching. I feel a shoe move up into my cleft, shoving my panties inside me. It's Tess. She's too rough, but whether from her inexperience with humans or her contempt for me I don't know.

        Isabel idly pinches my nipples as Tess fucks me with her foot. It hurts and it's so good, and I'm gasping and crying and I scream out as I come.

        Isabel shoves me into the table and they both get up to leave without a word. I wonder if that was supposed to be my tip.

        ------------

        Maria was weeping softly, hiding her face and trying to ignore her arousal.

        "Very good, Maria." Lonnie cooed. "Can you continue? I know it's hard. Just tell me one more and show me you're mine."

        Maria looked up at Michael and reached her hand out, looking for comfort. He was leaning so far back in his chair, that he was about to crack his head open and verify the prognostications of thousands of mothers nationwide. By the time he realized that Maria was reaching for him, she had retracted her hand and buried her head. She did not look up again.

        "Maria...we're almost through here." Lonnie, her salvation, was asking something of her. She could do this.

        Maria began. "I'm lying on the floor, chained to a bed..."

        -----------

        It's cold and I'm shivering and the door opens. It is my mistress, Isabel, and she's wearing leather and looks so beautiful. Someone enters behind her. I figure it's Tess and my stomach clenches because Tess is always rough whenever Isabel loans me to her.

        It's not Tess.

        It's Liz.

        My mistress wraps her arms around Liz and kisses her gently, more gently than she's ever kissed me. "Come, beautiful one" she says, and lays Liz down on the bed.

        "What about Maria?" Liz asks, her tone innocent but the question deliberately cruel.

        "Why should she matter when I have you?" Isabel says, not even looking at me and strokes Liz's breast and laughs at her sighs.

        I listen to them all night long, occasionally feeling the swish of Liz's hair on my back as it falls off the bed as she screams in ecstasy. Sometimes I see Liz look over at me and stare, smug and superior. Isabel never looks at me at all.

        The next morning I feel a hand stroke my back. My heart soars; has Isabel remembered me? The hand moves down over my rear and quickly twists the butt plug Isabel insists I always wear. From the size of the hand and the wicked giggle, I know it's Liz toying with me and not Isabel.

        ------------

        Maria was curled into a fetal position, sobbing. Lonnie's hand were running over her, soothing, consoling.

        Michael, shocked from what he had heard, moved to sit next to Maria on the bed, to try to help her sadness.

        "Really want to help her, Guerin?" Lonnie asked.

        Michael nodded.

        "Then use this." Lonnie held out her belt to him. "Go ahead. She needs it." She smirked, knowing he would never comply.

        Rage filled Michael. Maria felt worthless and this bitch was going to whip her? "I'm not part of your sick little games, Lonnie. This is disgusting and pathetic."

        Maria's heart stopped. So he watched and got gratification off her submission, and when the time came to participate, she disgusted him? He thought she was some pathetic whore he could use and abandon? He could jerk her around for months, but when she found what she needed, he all of sudden was the mediator of things correct and proper? Fuck him.

        "Get out." Maria shoved Michael as hard as she could off the bed.

        "What? Maria."

        "I SAID GET OUT!"

        Michael had never seen Maria so outraged. He quickly pulled his clothes on, trying to find the words to get through to her. "Look, Maria, this isn't good for you..."

        "Never speak to me again, Guerin. I'm through with you and your little gang of four. Stay away from me." Maria sat up, tone icy and eyes blazing. Michael tried once more to articulate, but when he saw her wrap her arms around Lonnie, he left.

        As Maria heard the door click, she fell back on her bed, tears streaming down her face.

        Lonnie cradled her head in her hands and smiled. "I love it when you cry."

        ------------

        Maria looked at Lonnie. "I think I'd prefer it if you loved it when I laughed."

        "I do." Lonnie kissed her tear tracks, licking at the salt. "I love your tears and laughter." Her hands tightened in Maria's hair. "I love your anger." She moved her body over Maria's driving her knee up, and Maria gasped. "I love your fear."

        Lonnie straddled Maria, as always fully clothed during Maria's nakedness. She reached a hand to trace down the cheek of her siren. "My Maria."

        Maria, overcome from the emotional tumult, sighed. "My queen."

        Lonnie laughed. "Maria, how is it that you know so much, and still don't understand something so basic? You're my queen, not the other way around. You could command the love and absolute devotion of thousands."

        Maria laughed. "Are you my liege, then?"

        Lonnie's eyes were serious. "I'm your soldier. I'll kill anyone who makes you feel less than you are, ever again. I'll gladly rip Liz apart."

        "No." Maria sighed. "That stuff, it was inside of me, not them, Lonnie."

        "They caused it. You belong to me, and you will not be devalued. That's why queens have soldiers, to protect them from the armies of others."

        Maria shook her head. She could hear Michael telling her that he had to be a soldier and had to stay away from her echoing dimly in her mind. She shook her head. That wasn't her worry, any more. Michael was Max's soldier; Lonnie was hers.

        "Do you know why queens have courtiers, pageboys and other lackeys?" Lonnie whispered in her ear.

        "To give them the coddling and attention that they so richly deserve?" Maria laughed.

        "To protect them from their own soldiers. Soldiers will gladly kill and bleed and die for their queen, but if they catch her alone, they'll demand certain...tribute. You're alone with me now, Maria. Are you willing to reward your soldier?"

        "Yes..." Maria let her eyes drift shut as she felt Lonnie's strong hands run down her thighs, and her beautiful mistress kneel between her legs. She looked down at Lonnie. Oh.

        Lonnie was removing her rings.

        Maria watched as Lonnie dipped her hand in the remaining olive oil. She felt like she could barely breathe.

        Maria was wet and the first fingers went in easily. Lonnie petted and stroked and Maria could feel her walls relaxing, even as her stomach clenched in terror.

        Lonnie went slow, stopping, testing, letting Maria's moans guide her. Four fingers were buried deep. She slowly began to insert her thumb.

        Oh God. Maria couldn't believe this. The pleasure was intense but so was the pain. She could get through it by gazing at Lonnie, and realizing that Lonnie needed this from her. She could survive.

        The entire hand was in. Maria flashed back on Lonnie telling her about fisting Ava, tearing and then healing and then tearing her again. Doing it over and over again until she was sure that Ava would always think of her, even when Zan was taking her. It had been somewhat erotic at the time, in the way that old fairy tales are the best: full of blood, and pain and lust, but happening down a dark corridor, a long way from the work-a-day world.

        Maria knew she couldn't handle it in her reality. She tensed, her walls tightening around Lonnie's hand, not yet curled around into a fist, not yet even moving.

        "Lonnie, please, no."

        Lonnie looked up at Maria, lips slightly open and pouting, green eyes shimmering. Lonnie knew if she kept going, Maria would forgive her and forget everything else. Lonnie knew she could drive thoughts of anyone else out of Maria's mind forever. She knew how to use her hands. She began to curl her fingers.

        To be stopped by Maria's wail.

        Shit. What was the point of love if it made you so fucking weak?

        "It's OK, slut queen. I'll stop for now." She could still continue with the rest of her plan though.

        Lonnie concentrated, focusing her powers in her hand, and then out to Maria's tight sheath. She healed what wasn't wounded, and was rewarded by a scream.

        Maria bucked. It didn't hurt exactly, yet felt like a brand all the same. An imprint of Lonnie's hand was going to mark her passage forever, she was sure. Electricity danced around Lonnie's hand, and warmth. She had never felt so taken.

        It wasn't stopping. As it went on and on, and she felt Lonnie's teeth nip at her clit, Maria went over the edge. From Lonnie's hand at ground zero, the wave enveloped her entire body, the spasms trailing out to her fingers and toes. She heard Lonnie swear as she clenched so tight around her hand that she must have cut off all circulation. Lonnie still let the energy pulse from her hand and Maria was trapped in the neuronal haze.

        Eventually it ended. Maria came back to reality and realized she was sucking hard on Lonnies fingers, feeling an aftershock of arousal as she noted her moisture coated the entire hand. A thin rivulet of red ran through it, and Maria tried to ignore the realization that it was her blood.

        "Lonnie...it was beautiful." Maria fought to keep from crying again. Lonnie looked down at her with fierce pride and protectiveness and lust.

        "You were so good, sweetheart. You broke so beautifully. God, I love you." Lonnie murmured over and over. "I've marked you, baby. You're mine."

        Maria was happy. She'd waited patiently for Lonnie to give her a chain or a tattoo, but had started to feel it was in vain. This...this was better.

        "Do you understand why that way, little bitch?" Lonnie asked. "It's the one thing I couldn't remove from you. I could wipe out bruises or welts or a tattoo, but I can't remove the handprint. It's a commitment, baby."

        "How long will it last?" Maria asked breathlessly.

        "Not forever, unfortunately. But a long time. I went deep."

        Maria reached up to pull Lonnie to her. This is what she needed. Lonnie stayed leaning over her, however.

        "Maria, I don't have anything to show I belong to you though." Lonnie said seriously. "And I do belong to you, baby."

        Maria cast her eyes around her room. Why hadn't she thought of a gift for her mistress before this? Because it frankly hadn't occurred to her that Lonnie would want to be marked as Maria's.

        "I have something already, baby. I made it." Lonnie held out something silver and black to Maria, who took it and examined it, and then shut her eyes, unable to believe her luck at having Lonnie with her.

        It was a charm bracelet from when Maria was about ten. The rage at school that year had been very delicate silver bracelets with the letters of your name spelled out in thin filigree charms. Amy had not had enough money to get her one, but had her man of the moment make one for Maria.

        It had ended up thick and clunky. The original bracelet had charms in the form of hemp leaves, which the man had tried to stick hands and feet on and told her they were clowns. It had turned green almost instantaneously. The letters of her name were in thick, ugly block letters. Maria and her mother had had the worst fight ever when Maria refused to wear it to school. Amy had asked Maria brokenly if Maria was ashamed of her, and Maria had said yes. Not even her mother's tears could make her wear the bracelet though, after she went to school and saw the elegant beautiful bracelet Liz wore.

        Maria took it out occasionally and felt ashamed of the hurt she caused her mother, and shame at the fact that if she were ten again, she would behave in the exact same way.

        Lonnie had embedded the ugly bracelet in a black leather arm cuff. The clowns were recessed, but the letters of Maria's name stood out in stark relief. The thought that her exquisite mistress would want to wear something so cheap just because it was Maria's brought tears to her eyes.

        "Put it on me, my queen?" Lonnie asked teasingly, but her eyes were serious.

        Maria fastened the black cuff to Lonnie' arm and sighed. It was perfect. It nestled above Lonnie's strong tricep like Maria nestled into the curve of her mistress' neck. Lonnie pushed her down on the bed.

        "Lonnie, do you love me?"

        "Always."

        "Will you ever leave me?"

        "Never."

        Maria smiled as she saw Lonnie reach for the belt that she had removed earlier.

Continue to Part Nine

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