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Until It Sleeps

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Posted to the RoswellBDSM mailing list April, 2001
I've been nominated for a Deep End Award

Title: Until It Sleeps
Author: Circe
Rating: R (for language)
Disclaimer: I own nothing of Roswell
Dedication: To Ianthe for being there and understanding everything so completely. :)
Summary: Reflection of the ex lover.
Distribution: Free-for-all...just let me know!
Feedback: PLEASE!? send it to

        I walked past your apartment building earlier this afternoon.

        I knew you were there. The shades were drawn but there was still a faint glow from your lamp.

        I didn't know if she was there. I didn't want to know, but for some damn reason I had to find out.

        The feeling was chewing at my gut like a bad dream that wakes you up in the middle of the night and won't let you go back to sleep and then stays with you all day long.

        I walked up the creaky stairs.

        The board of the third stair up is loose by the way. You might want to get your landlord to fix that.

        I heard the low rumble of Metallica as soon as I reached the second floor.

        The Load cd was in as usual. "Until It Sleeps" was playing. You fuck to that song.

        It's nice to know that some things never change.

        When I got to your door I heard your voice. It was the same voice that had called out to me so many nights when you would come to my window.

        The same voice that moved over me like liquid fire. Your deep voice echoed as hard as steel and was followed by the soft melodic call of the siren who was now a seemingly permanent fixture in your life.

        I'm not jealous. I'm not! I somehow doubt that you believe that though.

        I place my hand on your faded green door and close my eyes. I should be the one laughing with you behind this door. It should be you and me.

        I miss the old days. But again...I'm not jealous!

        I heard you moan and I groaned out loud, wishing that I could be the one to gain that reaction from you. I was so afraid that you had heard me but for some reason I couldn't leave.

        Again you moaned.

        I could just imagine her lips working you. Her warm, wet mouth taking all of you in. And there was so much of you to take!

        I knew you were about to cum.

        Your moans ceased and a string of curses tumbled from your tongue.

        Knowing her...I'm sure she just swallowed every last drop of your juices. She just seems like the type that would. Just like me.

        I could almost feel the warm liquid slide down the back of my throat. I couldn't get enough of it.

        And of course I loved that you would return the favor. Some guys don't you know.

        I listened to her murmur your name. As I imagined the two of you sprawled out on the bed, spent, my cheeks burned as if all of the blood in my body went straight to my face.

        My heart was thudding and thumping so loudly in my chest that I was sure that you would both hear it.

        My clothing was becoming restrictive as my mind wandered back to memories of the days when we would simply lie around your apartment. Both of us admiring one another's bodies, talking about simple things that we knew wouldn't cause a fight and relaxing in each other's arms.

        I bit my lip until I tasted the metallic taste of my own blood. I longed to be in contact with you. I wanted your flesh to burn under my the soft tips of my fingers.

        "Michael." I whispered.

        Perhaps somehow, my mind called out to you as well. I don't know how you knew I was there, but you did. We always did have an unexplainable link. Maybe you just knew that I would find myself leaning up against your door frame. You probably knew that I would be there before I did.

        Either way, I heard your heavy footsteps moving across the floor as you made your way to the door.

        I wasn't really surprised when you opened the door, completely naked. You know me. I know you. It isn't as if I've never seen you.

        Still, it has been a while.

        My body betrayed me as my arousal became obvious before your roaming eyes. Those deep brown eyes that always make me loose my concentration.

        I could smell it. The primal scent of sex. It lingered on you and around you like a devilish halo.

        "Hi." I said softly, not wanting to disturb HER.

        "Come in." You turned to walk back to your bedroom but I stopped you.

        My hand wrapped around your upper arm. I groaned inwardly. You have been working out haven't you?

        You freeze at my touch and slowly your eyes travel the line leading to my eyes.

        I never even saw her come into the room but suddenly there she was. Standing there in all her naked glory.

        What is this? A nudist colony?

        "Hi." She said bashfully as she tried to hide behind you.

        "C'mon baby...don't be shy." You said pulling her into the circle of your arms.

        You stood behind her and I knew that your cock would be hard against her firm ass.

        I see what you see in her now. She is beautiful. Like a butterfly or a....pixie.

        " did we decide to have a threesome?" She asked, looking up at you with her wide eyes.

        You smiled that same old smile and chuckled. "I don't think we have. Unless..."

        I hate when you look at me like you did! That expectant look. As if I might fall into your bad graces should I say no. I can't say no to you. I never could where it mattered.

        I smiled at you and rolled my eyes.

        "Well?" She walked to me and I shrank back, worried that she might tell. Could I trust her?

        As her warm mouth moved over my collar bone, my head fell back in ecstacy and I moaned. Yes...we all had our secrets. She would keep this one. I just knew.

        I picked her up in my arms and walked into your bedroom, placing her on that bed.

        Now its just you and me...just like old times. So here we are.

        You are undressing me as I run my fingers through that damn hair of yours. Still soft and unruly. Only now it's a good deal longer.

        You disappear into the living room. Why I'm not sure, but I look to Maria.

        Maria looks up at me and smiles. "Come here Max." She beckons.

        I sit beside her as she lounges back on a stack of pillows. She, our queen and we, her slaves.

        Our queen wants a show and who are we to deprive her?

        Any other time, I would laugh at this scene. But not now...not when you just cued "Until it Sleeps".

        You fuck to that song.

        The END :)

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