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Eternal VI: Fever
Reply to Caroline or visit her websiteAdded to the Roswell Slash Archive March 17, 2003
It turned out that the only way I could talk Sean into getting in the shower was to get in with him. Taking a cold shower wasn't real high on my list of things to do, but I was more worried about his temperature than I wanted to let on. I knew it was just the virus taking over his system, but it was happening fast and I didn't know whether that was a bad thing or not.
Once I got him cooled down a little I relaxed enough to really look at him. His skin was still flushed, red in patches and hot when I pressed my palm against it. He looked a little better, though; his eyes were a little more clear, anyway, and he kept grinning at me like he was just waiting for the second that I'd finally give in and give him what he wanted. I wanted him as much as he wanted me, but I was more worried about getting him cooled down than I was about getting off. It was hard to ignore once I got us both dried off and back into the bedroom, though, especially after spending so many nights telling myself I didn't hope he'd come after me.
He was grinning at me when I pushed him down onto the edge of the bed again, and even though I knew I was gonna regret it I had to ask. "What?"
"Look at you," he said, and I could practically feel his eyes on me when he looked me up and down. "You're shivering."
"That water was fucking cold, what'd you expect?"
I let him pull me down on top of him, bracing my hands on either side of his face and stretching out over his chest. He felt warm against my skin, like my own personal electric blanket. Once the virus claimed him completely the fever would go down, but I couldn't help thinking that it would be nice if he could just stay this warm all winter. At least that way I wouldn't ever have to worry about getting cold. I'd spent enough time freezing my ass off while I was on the road looking for my Forsaken, and I wasn't really looking forward to doing it again.
"Yeah." I moved against him, the towel I'd tied around my waist sliding open as I shifted my weight. He reached behind me and tugged until the knot gave completely, then he pulled it off and tossed it on the floor. I was still a little cold, but being pressed up against him was warming me up pretty fast and even if it wasn't I wouldn't have wanted to move. We'd been back together for over twenty-four hours already, but it felt like I hadn't even gotten a chance to look at him. I used to do that a lot when we were on the road together, just sit up all night and watch him sleep. I'd missed being able to do that, and since he finally caught up with me there hadn't been any time to stop.
I reached up to run a hand through his hair, pushing a few damp strands away from his forehead. It was still hard to believe how much I loved him; I never thought I'd feel that way about anybody, let alone some pretty boy I picked up because he had a nice car. Even after I fell for him I never thought he'd want me enough to give up his whole life for me. Sure, I knew he loved me, but I figured once I ditched him the second time that he'd be pissed enough to forget about me and go back to his old life. That was why I ended up in L.A., so I could keep an eye on him and torture myself watching him move on without me.
Part of me hoped that he'd come after me, but until he showed up I never really believed it. Even when he was standing right in front of me begging me to turn him I wouldn't let myself believe he really wanted it, because I wasn't sure I could live with his blood on my hands. As soon as I saw him again I knew I couldn't live without him, though, so in the end I gave in because I didn't have a choice. I wanted him with me as much as he wanted to be with me, I just hoped he wouldn't wake up one day resenting me for letting him go through with it.
"Hey," he whispered, and for the first time I realized that I must have spaced out for a minute or so. When I focused on him again he was still grinning, but he looked a little nervous. "You just gonna hold me down all night or what?"
I shook my head and grinned back at him so he wouldn't guess what I'd been thinking about. "Like you'd let me."
"If that's what you wanna do...I mean I wouldn't really mind," he answered, his smile fading as he reached up to touch my face. "We've got forever, right?"
"Yeah, Sean. Forever," I said, catching his hand in mine and pressing my lips to the center of his palm before I leaned forward and kissed him. It hadn't really sunk in for either of us that 'forever' meant forever, and I wasn't sure if it ever would. I mean it was a hard enough concept to wrap my mind around before Sean came along, and if anybody had asked me two years ago if I thought I could spend eternity with the same guy I would have told them they were crazy. Maybe we were crazy to think we could do it, but it was worth a shot. I knew I'd rather be with him than away from him, anyway, and now that he was infected again I owed it to him to keep him safe.
I took my time kissing him, my hand still buried in his hair and his arms wrapped around my shoulders. We were both moving in slow motion, trying to memorize as much as we could about the way it felt just to be this close again. It had only been a day since the last time, but that time we were both more focused on the moment when I finally did what he was asking me to. I still couldn廠 believe I寮 actually gone through with it, but I could smell his blood and it was way too hard to resist. I could feel it way down deep in my veins, like I was connected to him before I even bit him. So I wasn廠 thinking about the way he felt moving under me or even whether or not he was enjoying it; I didn廠 wanna tell him, but at the time all I was thinking about was his blood.
This time it was different, though; the bloodlust was always there, but it was easier to ignore it when I was distracted by the heat radiating off his skin. I slid off him far enough to reach between us and open the towel that was still wrapped around his waist, pushing it off his hips and flattening my palm against his stomach. The heat rising off his groin was even more intense, his chest rising and falling a little faster as my hand dipped lower.
"You廝e still burning up," I said, even though I knew there was nothing I could do about it. The heat didn廠 seem to bother him, anyway.
"I know." His voice was husky with need, and I felt my dick twitch at the sound of it. It had been a long time since I heard him sound so needy, and the fact that I was the one doing it to him made me want him even more. "It廣 okay."
I nodded because I knew that even if he wasn廠 okay it wouldn廠 make him stop, and there was a part of me that didn廠 want to either. Okay, most of me, and even though I felt guilty about wanting him when he was so sick I wasn廠 strong enough to say no. If I was we wouldn廠 even be stretched out in a bed that didn廠 belong to us in an abandoned house out in the desert. If I寮 been strong enough to say no I寮 still be back in that house in the valley, and he寮 probably be on a bus to Florida to go cry on his sister廣 shoulder or something.
There was no way I was gonna say no to him, though, and he寮 known it before he even found me. He knew I wanted him to find me, there was no other reason for me to be hanging out in L.A. The fact that he寮 tracked me as easily as he did had to tell him that, because if I hadn廠 wanted him to find me I could have made myself a lot harder to trail.
His hand landed on the back of my neck to pull me closer, his fingers burning against my skin. Even his mouth felt hot against mine when he kissed me again. His fingers felt like they might burn through my skin, and when I rolled onto my back and pulled him on top of me the heat from his body was almost stifling. If I寮 still been human I might not have been able to stand it, but in a way it felt good because it let me know that he was really there and he wasn廠 going anywhere. And I hated that part of me liked having a hold over him, that I kind of got off on the fact that the virus tied us together. He was mine either way, though, so I didn廠 waste too much time beating myself up about it.
Not when his mouth was moving against my neck, still-blunt teeth grazing my skin like he was thinking about finding out what would happen if he bit down hard enough to break the surface. I had a feeling that if he did that it would change things pretty fast, though, and right now I just wanted it to be me and him, no virus and no worrying about what happened once he finally turned. My fingers tightened in his hair enough to force him to look at me, the wild look in his dark eyes making my heart skip a beat.
I wanted to tell him everything I was thinking, but I wasn廠 sure how to make him understand. I didn廠 want him thinking I regretted turning him; I didn廠, not really. I regretted having to, but I wasn廠 sorry that he was with me. He wasn廠 sorry either, though, so there was no point in trying to make him understand something he already knew. Instead I leaned forward and covered his mouth with mine again, forcing his lips open and sliding my tongue against his. He moaned into my mouth and bucked against me, and I couldn廠 help wondering if we could actually start a fire from body heat alone.
My hands moved over every part of him I could reach, tracing the curve of his shoulders and down his spine to slide across his ass. He groaned when I pulled him closer and slid one leg between his, rocking against me when I arched up into the heat pouring off him. His whole body was slick with sweat when I ran my hands up his back again, and I had a feeling there were more cold showers in our future. Not that it mattered; I'd take one every day for the next month if it meant keeping him alive until he turned.
That was something I'd never mentioned to him, but not everybody survived the virus. If his temperature spiked too high and his body just shut down there was nothing I'd be able to do, and I really didn't want to have to drag him into the emergency room in the middle of the night and just leave him there. I didn't want to tell him that was a possibility unless I had to, though, because I felt guilty enough for getting him into this without telling him I was still risking his life because I was too selfish to let him go.
When he arched against me again I pulled my mouth away from his and pushed him off me, rolling him onto his side and sitting up long enough to find the lube I'd picked up at the store. "It's on the dresser," he said, and I felt his lips brush across my shoulder when I turned to look. I let him pull me toward him long enough to kiss him again, finally forcing myself to get up and get the lube before we were both too far gone to care. When I stood up he stretched out on the mattress, and I laughed when I heard his muttered 'hurry'.
By the time I turned around he was stretched out on his back with his legs spread out, stroking his cock with one hand while he watched me cross the room and crawl over him again. I thought about asking if he wanted to fuck me, but seeing him spread out like that was way too tempting. I knew what he needed without even having to ask, and I already knew I couldn't say no to him.
I stopped when I was kneeling between his thighs and got the cap off the lube before I leaned over him, opening my mouth against the hot skin stretched across his stomach. As soon as my tongue hit his skin his hands were in my hair, pushing me steadily down toward the heat radiating off his groin. Finally I took pity on him and closed a fist around the base of his cock, looking up at him for a second before I closed my mouth around him. And I'd never get tired of hearing that first grunt of pleasure he always let out whenever I did this, no matter how many lifetimes we got to spend together.
I let go of him long enough to squeeze some lube onto my fingers, working the first one inside him as I slid my mouth as far down his cock as I could get it. One of the nice things about being almost immortal was that I didn't really have a gag reflex anymore, and I could tell he kind of liked that too when he gasped and bucked up against me. I waited until he calmed down a little to work another finger into him, twisting them until I found the spot inside him that made his whole body shake.
I swallowed around him one more time before I sat up again, ignoring the disappointed sound he let out. "Turn over," I said, moving out of the way so he could flip over onto his hands and knees. When he did I caught my breath and closed my fist around the base of my own cock, squeezing until I was sure I wasn't gonna lose it before either of us was ready. Once I was breathing again I pushed his legs a little further apart and reached for the lube, running a slick hand over my dick before grabbed his hips and pushed inside him.
Once I was buried as deep as I could get I paused, my eyes squeezed shut as I waited for him to adjust to the sensation. Finally he relaxed and pushed back against me, that tight heat pulling me in just a little further. I heard myself murmur something meaningless when I felt him move, my grip tightening a little as I pulled out and then slammed back into him again. He moaned when the head of my cock brushed his prostate, dropping his head down to press his forehead against the mattress. I could have stayed like that forever, with him kneeling in front of me and our skin so hot it felt like we were on fire. I knew it wouldn't last, though; there was no way it could.
I reached under him to close my fist around his cock, stroking in time to my thrusts until he was as hard as he'd been a few minutes ago. I'd always loved seeing him rocking between my dick and my hand, moving a little more wildly with every thrust. There was something about the fact that I could make him lose control like that that turned me on even more, and when he pushed back against me and clenched his muscles around me I lost it.
My whole body tensed as I buried myself deep inside him and let go, filling him with hot liquid for the second time since we met. Before he was infected I'd always made him use condoms, even when he put up a fight, but now that we didn't have to worry about them anymore it just made everything more intense. When I finally stopped shaking I wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him back against me, pressing my mouth to the side of his neck and closing my hand around his dick again.
It was tempting to bite down on the mark I'd already left on his neck, to taste his orgasm in his blood when he came. I didn't, though; partly because I didn't want him to think I was gonna do it every time, and partly because I wasn't sure if he could take it while he was sick. Instead I ran my tongue over the mark, and when I felt him shiver against me I twisted my wrist just a little and ran my thumb over the head of his dick. That was enough to coax his orgasm out of him, and he arched against my chest and let out a groan as he came.
I waited for his breathing to even out a little before I pulled out of him, lowering him onto the mattress and stretching out next to him. He was even hotter now than he had been before I got him in the shower, and I knew I was gonna have to fight to get him back in there again. I decided to let him wait until he at least caught his breath, though, mainly because I wasn't all that sure I could stand up, let alone get him on his feet. I pushed myself up on one elbow and ran my fingers through his hair, watching while he fought to open his eyes.
"Don't say it," he said when he focused on me, and I couldn't help smiling because I knew he could tell I was still worried about him.
"You'll be better soon," I told him, as much to convince myself as to convince him. "But until then you've gotta keep your temperature down as much as possible. Unless you wanna fill the bathtub with ice, a cold shower's the next best thing."
"That's easy for you to say, you're not the one taking them."
I rolled my eyes but didn't bother reminding him that I'd been right there with him for the last one, mostly because I wasn't planning on too many repeat performances. "It's just for a few more days."
He reached out and caught my hand, threading our fingers together before he closed his eyes again. "Then what happens?"
I knew what he was asking, but I didn't have an answer for him. I'd thought a lot about what we would do if he did come after me, but most of it was just wishful thinking. I never really thought he'd show up and want to stay with me, mostly because I didn't want to be selfish enough to want that. Now that he was right there with me...I knew we couldn't stay where we were for much longer, but I didn't really want to think about where we went from here.
"I don't know, Sean. Whatever we want, I guess."
"So we can go anywhere?" He cracked one eye open and gave me a crooked grin that did weird things to my stomach, and I couldn't stop myself from smiling back at him.
"Yeah. But I thought you liked L.A."
"Not really," he answered, closing his eye again and moving a little closer to me.
"Then where do you wanna go?" I asked, praying he wouldn't say Florida. I wasn't sure seeing his sister again would be such a good idea, especially when he couldn't talk to her or let her know he was still alive. As far as she was concerned he'd just disappear, another casualty of the anonymous Hollywood lifestyle.
"I don't know," he finally answered, and I could tell by the sound of his voice that he was already half asleep. "Somewhere cold. It's too hot in L.A."
I didn廠 answer because I wasn't sure I could do it without my voice cracking. Instead I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his forehead, wishing I could take the fever away just by touching him. He sighed and turned into me, letting go of my hand to slide his arm around my waist. I wasn't really tired after spending most of the day sleeping, but there was no way I was getting up and running the risk that he'd wake up alone again. Instead I sank down onto the pillow and slid my arm around him, listening to the sound of his breathing as he fell asleep.
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