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Happy, Happy Birthday Baby!

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Posted to the RoswellSlash mailing list December 17, 2000

Title: Happy, Happy Birthday Baby!
Author: Aunty Mib
Fandom: Roswell, TV show
Pairing: Alex/Michael, one other suggested
Rating: X
Spoilers: Up to 'Surprise'
Series: Love Songs Trilogy
Archive: RARESLASH and Roswellslash
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the setting. I won't be making any money off of this.
Betas: Lavish thanks to Mere and brandi who improved this story immensely. Warnings: In certain backward countries these boys are underage. Some passing reference to child abuse. Lots of rimming!

Happy, happy birthday baby.
Although you're with somebody new
Thought I'd drop a line to say
That I wish this happy day
Would find me beside you

Happy, happy birthday baby
No, I can't call you my baby
Seems like years ago we met
On a day I can't forget
'Cause that's when we fell in love.

Do you remember
The names we had for each other?
I was your pretty,
You were my baby.
How could we say goodbye?

Hope I didn't spoil your birthday
Though I'm acting foolish, lady;
So I'll close this note to you
With good luck and wishes too
Happy, happy birthday baby

* * *


        Courtney stepped back and examined the mark her hand had made on Michael's face. Satisfied at the impact, she spun on her pumps and flounced her way out of the alley.

        Michael rubbed his jaw. Damn! The girl was a hell of a lot stronger than she looked.

        He heard a snicker behind him and turned around to see Alex, Kyle and Max Double damn! They were coming out of the alley exit of the Touchdown Cafe.

        "Way to go, man! You pissed off two chicks in the same evening." Kyle yelled. "Whoa! Whoa!" Kyle did the same type of dumb jock dance that he did when he scored in football.

        Alex shifted the gym bag, trying to redistribute the weight. Max clapped him on the shoulder and he gave Max a dirty look.

        "Well, Alex. I read that the Village People are due for yet another comeback. Maybe you could join the band. Or even start up a new band of your own."

        Michael said, "How about joining Madonna's band? She likes dancers. Boy, does she like dancers."

        "Go to Hell! Do not pass GO, do not collect $200.... God! I am so embarrassed." Alex tried shifting the weight again. Michael took a hold of the bag and Alex let him take it.

        "What's in the bag, Alex?"

        Alex said, "My costume, the music and the CD player."

        Honestly, Michael felt sorry for Alex - he had done a public striptease to please his girlfriend, and she didn't even watch. That more or less defined public humiliation.

        Alex asked, "Has anyone seen Isabel? We, uh, sort of had some plans for tonight."

        "Sorry, Dude. She is long gone." Kyle answered.

        Alex looked as disappointed as a kid who asked for a dog for Christmas and got dog shit instead. He looked down and scuffed one of his feet against the ground. Michael had the uncomfortable suspicion that he was trying to hide tears. Max and Kyle were talking quietly to one another. Kyle was leaning back against the alley wall, hands crossed over his chest while Max leaned toward him, one hand on the wall beside Kyle's head. Max had his legs spread and Kyle had stuck one of his sneakered feet between Max's legs. They were almost touching. Max whispered something into Kyle's ear.

        Kyle said, "Hey guys. D'ya wanna hang out. Go up to the park with some pepsi n' tabasco and shoot the shit n' stuff. Or maybe drive around for a while."

        Max added, "Neither of you are having a great night tonight. We don't we do some of that red-blooded-heterosexual-American-teenage-boy-male-bonding as seen on 'Dawson's Creek'."

        Kyle tugged on one of Max's ears. He and Max went back to their whispered conversation.

        Michael turned back to Alex.

        "So, what were your plans tonight, Officer Whitman?"

        He shrugged. "Well, my parents are gone for the week and Isabel was going to come over to my place for a late dinner." Alex kicked a can. "I made a fool of myself tonight. What a complete waste."

        "Not completely, Mrs. Evans said that you had nice nipples."

        "WHAT!!! You have to be kidding. MAX!"

        Max backed away from Kyle, both of them looked flustered.

        "Did your Mom say I had nice NIPPLES!"

        Max and Kyle grinned.

        Kyle said, "No way, dude, uh-uh."

        Max said, "My mom said that you had a cute butt."

        Kyle said, "The one who said you had nice nipples was my dad."

        "Ha-ha. Funny guys."

        Kyle touched Max on his shoulder and whispered something into one of his large ears.

        Alex stamped his foot. "Guys, pay attention FOR FIVE SECONDS. I want to know how bad things are. Think of the trouble I went through. Do you guys have any idea how uncomfortable it is to wear a thong?"

        Kyle and Max said, "Yes."

        Kyle said, "Uh, like we're both on the varsity wrestling team, dude."

        "And thongs or jockstraps are part of the uniform. Trust me, you start wrestling and those things get TIGHT!"

        It was difficult to tell in the light but both of the jocks seemed to go red.

        Alex rolled up his eyes. Those two jocks were always in a world of their own. Whatever. He turned back to Michael.

        "Yet another cold shower tonight. It's getting to the point where cold showers are a turn-on."

        "Tell me about it. I'm used to cold showers, the hot water doesn't work at hovel sweet hovel. The only times I get a hot shower is after gym."

        "Ah, why doncha come on over. Get yourself a hot shower..."Alex sniffed loudly, "with soap. I bought all this food for a late dinner with Isabel, stuff that a human can't eat and I can't eat all the human stuff by myself anyway." He gave Michael his 'puppy-dog eyes'.

        "As long as it isn't burgers, I'm your man." Michael hefted the gym bag on his shoulder. He waved his hands at Kyle and Max who were oblivious to the world.

        "Night, guys."

        Max and Kyle didn't even notice them going.

        "Michael, do you think that Max is planning on getting an earring like Kyle's?"

        "Must be, why else would Kyle be rubbing his earlobe?"

        Michael's place reminded Alex of the opening scene of one of his favorite movies, "Seven".

        It wasn't that Michael had a bunch of dirty dishes or half eaten food lying around. He didn't even have a grossly obese guy tied to his chair. What he did have was a layer of little brown critters scurrying across the surfaces.


        Michael swept his open palm around the room. Everywhere he faced the cockroaches exploded. It was like a machine gun attack in a war movie, with a sound effect of a popcorn maker.

        Michael nodded once then turned back to talk to Alex. Then he looked around.

        Finally he looked outside where Alex was standing on the sidewalk.

        "Grab some clean clothes and shampoo. I am not E V E R going back in there."

        'Wuss!' Michael thought.

        Michael grabbed a shirt, t-shirt, pair of pants, socks and his bottle of cheap dish detergent.

        Hey! When you're an emancipated teen with a minimum wage part-time job, shampoo AND dish detergent is not in the budget. And shampoo does not clean the dishes.

        Alex's place actually had a white picket fence. When Alex opened the door and turned on the lights Michael, did a whole commando thing pretending his hand was a gun.

        "Freeze, this is a raid. Come out with your antennas up."

        He looked at Alex and grinned.

        "Sorry, I guess I've never been in a place without roaches before."

        "Funny! Look at me laugh. Ha Ha Ha."

        Michael grabbed Alex and gave him a noogie. He was shocked to find that his hair was soft and nice to touch, unlike his own.

        Michael backed off. He looked around the living room.

        The house was the type that Steven King wrote about in his novels, "like Campbell's Alphabet soup, tasteless without being actively offensive."

        The room had wall-to-wall shag carpeting in burnt orange. The walls were wall-papered in a design that imitated wood grain. There was a large, OK, enormous painting of a german landscape on the wall. The furniture was directly out of an Ikea catalogue.

        "Hit the showers." Alex pointed up the staircase.

        Along the wall of the staircase were a series of ceramic models of the heads of various kinds of terriers. The washroom was at the top of the stairs.

        Michael thought, 'Damn, I hope that Alex realizes how great all this stuff is.' The washroom smelt of cinnamon and lime from the potpourri. Michael reached out and touched the royal blue towel set. They were thick and fluffy and smelt 'spring-fresh'. A fan gently whirred in the ceiling. And the shower had a whirlpool bath.

        Jeez! Five types of shampoo, two with conditioner, three types of soap, faceclothes, sponges and bubble bath.

        Michael had a quick shower to clean the grease off of his body and out of his hair. He then plugged the tub and gave himself his first bubble bath. Neat!

        It was like having a bath with the dishes. He stayed in the tub until the water was tepid. Afterwards, he got out, drained the tub, and dried and fluffed up his hair. He felt mildly guilty at using all this stuff from the Whitman family but it was so cool.

        They even had two types of deodorant. One was underarm deodorant and the other was a Roll-on Ball. He used each of them on the body parts recommended.

        After dressing in his clean clothes he looked at himself in the mirror. 'Gorgeous'. He looked at his clothes for a minute then decided to try something he had seen Isabel do hundreds of times. He ran his hands over the clothes and willed away the wrinkles, the stains and the fading. It worked. He felt great.

        Downstairs, Alex went into the dining-room and looked at the fruits of his efforts. He had used his mom's best bone china, the crystal d'Arques wineglasses, the fine linen tablecloth and the Sterling silverware that matched the candlesticks. Henkel Trocken champagne was chilling on ice. And a very expensive 5 course dinner for two was waiting in the fridge. All of it for nought.

        OK, so Isabel wasn't here. He would still go ahead with the full dinner. He wouldn't let her spoil everything.

        Alex went into his bedroom where he had laid out his white suit and black bowtie. He had black socks with garters, a crisp new t-shirt and shiny leather dancing shoes however, he hadn't laid out new underwear. He had had high hopes for the evening.

        "Screw that!" Alex thought. He changed into the suit. He didn't bother hunting through his bureau in hopes of finding underwear that would make him feel like an adult.

        He had even done the laundry so that his bed would smell nice. For God's sake.

        He went into the kitchen and finished preparing the food. He arranged the sushi on the appetizer plates, poured the chilled cucumber soup into the soup bowls, arranged the salad on the salad plates and garnished them with edible flowers. He put the plates for the main course into the oven.

        He came back into the dining room and lit the candles.

        He heard a sound at the door and looked up at Michael standing there with a shocked look on his face. He got it immediately.

        "Chill, Michael. Usually we eat Kraft dinner in the kitchen. This was supposed to be special for Isabel's birthday."

        He popped the cork on the champagne and poured Michael a glass.

        "Sit, drink. I'll get the first course from the kitchen."

        Michael tasted the champagne. It was pretty much the same as ginger ale, only a bit more sour and bitter. A hell of a lot better tasting than the horsepiss Hank got pissed on. He had only tasted it once and was less than impressed.

        He hadn't completely forgotten Max telling him about the effect of alcohol on the alien nervous system. But he pretty much discounted it. Max was a pussy. Besides, it usually took Hank two six-packs to get drunk. Michael knew that he could handle a couple of glasses of spiked soda pop.

        Alex brought out two trays of California roll sushi and soy sauce. Michael's tray had three small lumps beside the sushi.

        "What is this?"

        Alex pointed, "This is rice with avocado and crab. This is sweet pickled ginger. This is hot green mustard. And the last was special for you aliens, mint gel toothpaste. You mix the pastes into the soy sauce and dip the sushi into the mix."

        Michael took a taste of each, then mixed them together into a paste that most resembled something out of dissection class and spread it over the sushi, "S'iz good!"

        Alex shuddered a bit. He thought that Isabel would like this, but TOOTHPASTE? When Michael finished, Alex took the trays back to the kitchen and brought out the soup and the salad. Michael loved the nasturtium petals, they were so spicy. Alex poured them each another glass of champagne.

        Michael was feeling hot and dizzy and giggly. This was so much fun. Everything looked more mysterious and special under candlelight, it was like everything were lit from behind with orange light.

        Alex was enjoying the dinner despite himself. With Isabel, he always felt like he was running the Red Queen's race to try to be cool enough to keep her attention. But Michael was enjoying things so much that he couldn't help enjoying them as well. He was aware that the champagne was helping to lighten his mood.

        He squirmed a little in the chair, the damn thong was riding up again.

        He served the main course and poured out the last of the champagne. Michael had loosened up and was being charming for a change. Alex thought to himself, "You know, he doesn't look half bad tonight...Don't go there." Hank had definitely taken care of any 'curiosity' that Michael might have felt years ago.

        Alex cleared off the table and went to go get desert. He pulled at the thong through his pants.

        "Yo, Alex. Why the hell did you get yourself a thong?"

        "It came with the rest of the Chippendale cop costume. It has a badge on it."

        "No Shit!"

        "The idea was that after you finish dancing you give the woman who tipped you the most the badge."

        "Awesome. Show me."

        Alex' inhibitions had slowly melted away through the dinner and three glasses of champagne. And someone who dresses up as a police officer to strip in front of all of his friends doesn't have all that many inhibitions to start off with.


        Alex walked over to Michael, unfastened his belt and pulled open his trousers.

        The thong was a scrap of black silk with a peel off badge.

        Michael tugged on the badge, giggling a little from the champagne.

        The two guys realized simultaneously what the hell they were doing. Michael froze. Alex froze. Little Alex was the only one moving. Little Alex wasn't so little anymore.

        "Uh, Michael. I'll go get dessert now."

        "Don't bother."

        Michael licked the soft material. Little Alex popped out of the thong and Michael took it in his hand and licked the pearly drop off the end.

        OK, Hank never, ever, ever tasted this clean. Besides, he liked Alex one hell of a lot better than he had ever liked Hank.

        Alex had no idea what to do. His evening plans involved trying to seduce Isabel and he succeeded with Michael without even trying. He could pretend that he MINDED, but it's kind of hard to play the straight card when your own dick is fully erect in another guy's mouth. He could just let Michael do him, though that would be neither fair nor true to his own feelings.

        Alex did what he had to do. He put his hands on Michael's hair and started fucking his face.

        Michael choked and pulled back for a breath. Alex ran his cock over Michael's cheek.

        "Uh, Michael."


        "This is really nice but it's not fair for you to do all the work."

        "Huh? Oh, OK." Hank hadn't suggested sharing.

        Alex stuffed Little Alex back into his pants and picked up the candle sticks.

        "My room's right down the hall."

        On the way to the bedroom both candles went out. Michael took the candles and did his Mephistopheles trick with his thumb. Alex sprawled out on his bed.

        Michael unwrapped Alex, unbuttoned his shirt, undid the bowtie, and butterflying his pants. He looked down at the site of Alex, effectively nude while still wearing formal clothes, the candlelight dancing over his body. He looked so innocent and wanton. He gazed up at Michael, trembling, his lips slightly parted.

        Michael shucked his own clothes in seconds. The candlelight flickered, changing his appearance from playful young man to cruel demon to compassionate god in the eyes of his friend.

        Michael crawled on top of Alex. Their tongues wound around each other with their first kiss. They tried to touch as much of the other's body with as much of their own body as possible. Michael pulled away first, Alex's body arching up toward him as if drawn by magnets.

        Michael licked his way down; the base of the throat, the line of the sternum, short detours to nibble the nipples, the dent of the navel and then the cock.

        Michael wolfed down Alex's cock. He did everything that he had ever heard of, read of or dreamed about. He licked the vein underneath and played with the inside of the piss-slit with his tongue. He put his mouth around the cock, without touching it and BREATHED: slow warm exhales and sudden deep cold inhales, then bit down, gently, enveloping the entire cock in his warm, wet mouth.

        Alex gasped and clawed at Michael's head.

        "Oh, god Michael. Michael."

        Alex tried to shift around so that he could reciprocate. Michael got up and moved up on the bed to kiss him, again and again. Alex managed to get his pants off without breaking the kiss.

        Michael straddled Alex, who shifted to suck the other youth off. They '69ed for a couple of minutes but Michael had other plans.

        When Alex took him as far down as possible, Michael grabbed the backs of Alex's knees and pulled them under his arms exposing Alex's hairless bum.

        Michael licked the buns as if they were covered with Tabasco sauce and honey. He ran his tongue into the groove and found the pulsating rosebud.

        Alex gasped and choked around Michael's dick as he lost his virginity to Michael's tongue.

        Michael was in ecstasy as he tongue-fucked the other teen. His tongue was nipped and hugged as it was invited inside.

        Alex himself up into a reclining position and let the cock he was sucking pop out of his mouth and slap against his chest. He wasn't quite sure that he wanted to kiss anyone's ass, much less Guerin's, but he couldn't let Michael go so much further than he was ready to. Thank heavens, Michael had had a shower and his butt smelled lightly of lilac.

        Alex tentatively licked the area between the ball sack and the anus and found that he liked the musky taste. He grew a bit bolder as he licked further, harder and deeper.

        Michael groaned and sat up. He fed his ass to his hungry friend, putting his hands back to support Alex' head and rubbing Alex' ears.

        He had a flashback to Max and Kyle in the alley, but he put away the thought till he could think about it.

        "Oh God, Michael. This feels so ... wonderful. Yeah! Keep doing that, yeah." "Shaddap. If you want to keep wagging your tongue, how about wagging it someplace fun. Munch my butt."

        Alex rearranged his pillows to support his head and stuck his tongue up Michael's butt. Michael reciprocated, while making vague plans concerning Max and an open window.

        The two guys rimmed in bliss. Neither of them had any idea that assholes could be the source of so much pleasure. (This thought made Alex smile at the implied pun.) Typically, Michael grew impatient. He had experience, now it was time to get some good out of it.

        "Enough of this already, do y'wanna fuck?"

        Alex stopped eating ass. He knew this question would come up, but he wasn't sure that he was ready to get fucked. Michael could feel the tension in his body at the thought. Boy, Alex was in for a treat.

        "You were hopin' to get Isabel tonight. Where'd you hide the condoms and lube?"

        Alex said, "They're in the drawer beside the bed. Uh, Michael be gentle."

        Michael lay on his side and curled around a pillow. "Just put on the goddam condom already n' grease me up, twerp."

        Alex lost his nervousness, fast. He had a bit of trouble with the condom, he couldn't get the first one on at all. Michael gave him a hand with the next, almost too much of a hand considering how excited Alex was. Michael squeezed Alex' balls tight enough to hurt without being incapacitating until the danger had ebbed.

        Alex worked half a tube of strawberry/kiwi 'Love Gel' up Michael's butt.

        Michael guided Alex to the entry point, it took a couple of tries with quite a bit more spit for Alex to enter.

        "Ready for your probe, Alien boy?"

        "Oh, yeah. Give to me, you little twerp."

        Alex eased into Michael's ass and buried himself to the hilt. He moaned and bit at the other guy's shoulders and hugged as if he were trying to absorb Michael through his skin.

        What Michael felt wasn't quite pain; like scratching an itch you never knew that you even had, it hurt so good. He could feel his ass stretch and quiver.

        After a couple of minutes both of them relaxed and adjusted to the new sensations. Michael started moving first, like his ass were giving Alex a blow job. Alex lost rhythm at first, but suddenly the two friends clicked and began to move as one.

        The friction burnt within him, deliciously. A warmth that centered around Alex but sent waves up his spine and down his legs. He could feel his aura blending with Alex's, an electric tingle from himself and a encompassing heat from Alex.

        Michael changed position without Alex missing a thrust so the Michael was on his knees, with Alex pounding away behind him. The earlier tenderness was erased as together they surrendered to passionate intensity and complete sharing. Alex felt himself on his hands and knees with a cock plunging into his ass at the same time that he had his hands on Michael's back and his cock in Michael's ass.

        Their orgasms were different.

        The two of them shuddered as the human spurted his viscous white fluid into the warm tightness of the alien sending jolt after jolt of pleasure/pain through their bodies. Then a relaxation as the alien released a single stream of orange goo onto the pillow beneath his body.

        The empathy faded into two solitudes of afterglow. Alex' cock in the condom bulging with cum popped out of Michael.


        "You can say that again."


        The two of them lay in each others arms, cuddling and kissing and tasting. Michael loved the salty musky taste of human sweat. Nothing else even tasted close. If the humans could figure out a way to bottle that, soy sauce would be so done.

        Alex had never tasted Isabel. She was armoured against the world with a layer of cosmetics and breath fresheners. Michael tasted like sour cherries and smelt WONDERFUL.

        Michael played a bit with the other guy's ears and thought back to Max and Kyle in the alley.



        "I just figured it out. Max and Kyle -- wanna bet they do this too?"

        Alex thought for a minute then snickered.

        "Uh-uh! I'm not taking that bet. No way, Jose. I didn't know before that you guys shot orange jello."

        "Hmmm, so?"

        "Well, I wondered how the hell Kyle managed to spill orange jello on his runners, or his varsity jacket, or the back of his t-shirt two or three times a week."

        "Mmmmnnn!" The two of them frenched a bit."

        "How'd you like dessert?"

        "It was GREAT!" Alex tickled Michael, or tried to. Michael realized he had a yet another weapon in his arsenal against humans and tickled Alex into giggling fits.

        When Alex got his breath back he said, "No, you oaf! I have a frozen chocolate souffle with Chipotle chile sauce."

        "Sounds great, I may want seconds of that."

        Michael paused for a couple of minutes to gather his courage.

        "I definitely want seconds of this."

        The End

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