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Ava, Chapter 32: Ava

Reply to Alsike

Posted to June 27, 2004

     I'm scared.  Like this is new.  I don't know if I can go back.  Do I have the courage to face the way she'll look at me? Does she really care about me?  Is it worth it.  would she want me back?  Am I nothing to her?

     I ended up here again, back at the warehouse.  It's as good a place as any to spend the night.  I can make a decision in the morning.  I step inside.  And she's here, why is she here?  What's going on?  I didn't want to have to do this now.  I'm tired and muddy and I wanted to sleep.  I'm terrified of this.  Don't look, please Paige, don't look.  A flash of orange, she's turning her head, I have to run.  I meet her eyes and the door slams behind me.  I'm six blocks away before my head catches up with my feet.  I had to escape.  I can't face it.

     God she's everywhere!  This is where I sat in her arms, watching the bay.  It's not fair.  I remember that feeling of safety, but if she can give me that many feelings of love and acceptance, she can invert it horribly.  I'm afraid of her.  I curl up on the bench, holding my knees to my chest.  I'm so afraid.

Continue to Chapter 33

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