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Ava, Chapter 3: Ava

Reply to Alsike

Posted to June 27, 2004

     There’s just something about this girl.  She’s special. There’s something different in her: white sparkles in her mind.  I want to kiss her again.  The cable cars are so much better than the subway.  She took me to a wonderful restaurant and bought me her favorite thing and it’s so easy being bossed around like that, and if I ever made a motion towards no she halted and backtracked as fast as she could.  She didn’t force me; it seemed she cared about what I wanted.  My Paige, as sweet as you can get, but so tough, with secrets that make you so sad.  I’ve got secrets too, darling, crazy secrets, awful secrets, would you look at me that way if you knew?

     “Where are you going to sleep tonight?”

     “I was doing fine in the warehouse.”

     “And I’m just going to bring you back there and leave you where you can just disappear and leave me?”

     “I wouldn’t.”

     “My sisters don’t like company.  You don’t want to know what happened to the last person who stayed over.”

     “Maybe I do?”

     “Trust me.”

     “I know I can do that.”

     “Really, even though I’m an evil social worker?”

     “Don’t say that!  It’s frightening.”

     I never thought I’d be dating a Social Worker.  I’m dating her.  She’s…  am I obviously drooling, god, don’t be like Tess; don’t want what you can’t have.  Don’t get desperate.  Don’t love too hard.

     “It’s Friday night, you could stay over at my office.”

     “Sure.”  I wasn’t exactly paying attention, at least not to what she was saying.  I was paying very close attention to how her hair fell across her face.

     She made me a bed behind her desk from blankets and things that seemed to appear out of nowhere, and she gave me her address and her phone number.  Then I walked her to the door.  She was so nervous.  She had finally decided just to go when I slipped my arms around her waist.  She wasn’t going to go with nothing.  I knew she wanted it.  I wanted to make it good, make it a memory, but don’t try to hard.  I always try to hard.  The fact that my hand unwittingly snuck up her shirt meant nothing, really.  I freaked her out.  Great.

Continue to Chapter 4

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