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The Antar Chronicles, Chapter 9: Wrestling with Memories

Reply to Alex Parrish

Posted to the RoswellSlash mailing list June 26, 2004

      I sat quietly, just stroking his raven hair for long enough so that I thought Liz would be asleep. I thought it would be OK, that I could talk quietly to Max without waking Liz. The Doctor said that stimulation was good for him, and, frankly, I was exhausted, and unless I was stimulated myself, I might drop off to sleep too. I said some mushy chick-like stuff to Max which you don't need to know about. I told him about our inane rescue plan, and about Maria's spectacular flying-tackle of the kidnapper, and about learning to dream-walk, and I was running out of material. I was afraid I might drift-off, or perhaps I had started to drift-off a little and that's what caused me to reminisce about Roswell. I found myself retelling to Max the story of our second intimate encounter.

      Our first had been during the camping trip, the weekend before Alex was killed, and Alex's death threw the entire situation into a state of chaos for weeks, with humans pitted against the 'pod-squad.' I spent the entire several weeks absolutely pining for Max, and he was, for the time being, absolutely unattainable. I rambled on...

      I had nearly convinced myself that I had only dreamed that you told me you loved me and wanted to be with me; that I was deluding myself, and damn-stupid-crazy for thinking it.

      Anyway, I couldn't be queer -- I'm an athlete 'fer chris'sake!'

      It would be an understatement to say that I was shocked when you appeared out of nowhere and snatched me as I was getting equipment off the team bus after an away-game, and you hustled me around to the other side of the gym building where there were no lights and no people. When you pushed me up against the side of the building and laid that hungry kiss on me, I think I was absolutely immobile with fear. Fear of being seen and found-out, but more than that, fear that I was totally out-of-control and you were driving me crazy with lust.

      "Come on," you whispered, "This way."

      We skulked around to a service entrance to the gym and waited there until the bus left and the last car made its way out of the school lot. You waved a hand at the door, and we were in. I was terrified, but you seemed to have a plan, and I was powerless to let go of your hand.

      It was mostly dark in the gym except for the little beams of light streaming in the windows from the parking lot. You didn't turn on the lights. You reached for a wrestling mat hanging on the side wall.

      "Here... grab the other end."

      We dragged the mat to the center of the gym floor and then piled another on top of it. I thought you had lost your mind, but never once considered stepping away from you.

      "Hey, Valenti, wanna wrestle?"

      The devil's own grin was on your angelic face at that moment, and the very idea of it gave me a woody that nearly ripped my pants. As I recall, however, we didn't wrestle very much. Mostly we wrestled each other's clothes off. Before I knew what was happening, the two of us were naked on the mats, right in the middle of the West Roswell High School Gymnasium. I allowed myself to be pinned face-up and you secured me to the mat with your mouth covering mine and I thought for a moment that you might just devour me whole. Then you were kissing every inch of me starting at my mouth and working down almost to my cock. Weeks before, you had told me not to try to get yours in my mouth all at once, but you ignored that rule and took my entire length in one gulp. I had never felt anything like it. It felt like you were milking me with your tongue. Then, without warning you flipped me over -- a fine wrestling move too -- and began using your tongue on my ass before I even knew what had happened. I was terrified and exhilarated all at the same time. I had to work at not pulling away, the sensation was so new to me, but after a few moments, you told me to just try to relax everything, and I concentrated on relaxing, and it was astounding.

      When you stopped, I knew what was next, and I was a little concerned about lubricant, but you were miles ahead of me, pulling a tiny bottle from your jeans and putting some, first, on your finger. I was so relaxed, I almost didn't feel the first finger, but I definitely felt the second. You kept telling me to relax, and I finally was able to once again, before you got to three fingers. By that time, I had the formula for relaxing down, or so I thought. There was a short pause while you applied some more lubricant, and I was a little taken back by how incredibly hard your cock seemed as it gently pushed against my opening. I think I was whispering your name aloud as you finally penetrated and there was pain, but that was more than countered by the knowledge that you, Max, were inside me. I remember how slow and gentle you began, until I finally began bucking against you to convince you that it was OK to let yourself go, that I was ready and aching for you. You slipped your hands under my shoulders for leverage and you were consumed with fucking me. Every time there was a little pain, I just called your name and the pain evaporated, and you were calling my name too, and I think we were shouting. I could hear the noise echoing just as if the entire gym was filled with people shouting our names in encouragement, and when you shuddered and I felt the red-hot fluid it felt like a fire-hose going off in me.

      Did you know I cried? Did you know that I felt like I had spent my entire 17-year life waiting and yearning for that exact moment, most of the time not even knowing it, or even denying it? Did you know that at that exact moment I felt that I would die if you were to stop touching and holding me? Did you know that was the moment when I knew I would follow you to whatever planet you were from because I had no choice. To be separated from you was not an option, not even thinkable. No, I guess you didn't know any of that, but just the same, you held me so close and so tightly for the next quarter-hour, that I began to believe we would not move, not even if morning came, and the people came. I would stay right here with you. Let them all go to hell!

      OK, OK that wasn't very practical, but it was one of those defining moments, and I was truly overwhelmed.

      I remember, I didn't want you to let go, but you just slipped down and took me in your mouth again and finished me off, licking away every steamy, sticky, drop. Then, you were the one who said that my dad and your parents would begin to miss us soon if we didn't each go home. I didn't care.

      You were, of course, right.

      Remember? It was your idea to leave the mats in the middle of the floor when we left. God... we were crazy! Just a couple days later Sean and Liz got caught breaking into the school, looking for Alex's records. It's probably our fault they were caught. After the janitors found the mats the next morning after our orgy, the cops were watching the school more closely, and that's why Liz and Sean were nabbed. I should probably apologize... or maybe not.

      I don't think I ever told you how much that night meant to me. I hope you can hear me now, and you can understand. That's why you have to come back to me, you just have to!"

      "You don't need to apologize Kyle, It was stupid."

      I nearly jumped out of my skin. It was Liz speaking.

      "I deserved to get punished, and I really feel bad about Sean, because he didn't deserve what he got. He's probably STILL doing community service for getting caught helping me, and at the time I hardly thought twice about him. I'm so ashamed."

      "You're supposed to be asleep. You weren't supposed to hear that."

      "I know. I'm sorry for eavesdropping." She threw her legs over the edge of the pod.

      "Did you know that, the whole time -- nearly a year -- the whole time you and Max were sneaking around secretly, I never even suspected?"

      "Sorry about that."

      "I know. I know you're sorry, but after all this time, I think what makes me the saddest is that you both had to hide it from the people who loved you most. How awful it must have been for you to be so deeply in love and to have to hide like that."

      "Well... I guess it comes with the territory. We wouldn't have felt free to 'come out' under the best of circumstances then, and with the whole thing between Max and you starting up again, and all the Alien crap -- well, it just wasn't even imaginable."

      "I understand now. When I first found out about it -- about you and Max -- I was so hurt and so... so angry about it that I couldn't even think straight. I'm afraid I said some terrible things."

      "Not to me."

      "Well..., to Maria"

      "You were pissed, and you were hurt. And you had a right to be. I understand."

      "Kyle, that's all in the past now. Now I think of you as, I don't know, maybe as the brother I never had, and sometimes I think of you as being a part of Max. I know that isn't very flattering, but I mean it in a good way, like, you and Max are so right, so... natural, that sometimes I think you're one man."

      I didn't know how to respond, and she didn't seem to need a response. She got out of the sleeping-pod and took her place beside Max, stopping only for a second to kiss my head as she crawled over me. We were silent for a while.

      "Your turn." She gestured towards my sleeping-pod and I wondered if I had enough energy left to climb into it. I managed. This time I had no trouble just relaxing into sleep.

      I dreamed of fishing with Dad, back in Roswell. Dad always pretended to be frustrated when I released a big one back into the stream, but I know that he didn't want to kill and gut it anymore than I did so we didn't argue. I just let him pretend to be upset. I dreamed of being in Dr. Cur's giant test-tube and struggling to breathe. I dreamed that Dr. Cur was thawing me out as I lay naked on a table in the middle of the Gym back in Roswell, with everyone watching. I dreamed that Max and I were holding each other, spiraling through space without even a spaceship as we kissed and kissed. When I finally woke, the front of my boxers was wet and sticky. I quickly pulled my jeans on over them with my back to Liz, but I could smell it, and she probably could too.

      Max slept.

      "I'm going to see if I can scout up some more food. Would you like me to bring some for you?" I also intended to scout up the head, but didn't mention it.

      "No, thanks, I'll stay here until you get back, and then I think I'll take a walk. I need some exercise."

      "OK, sounds like a plan." just as I left, I stuck by head back through the door. "I guess I don't need to tell you to holler if he wakes up."


      "OK, OK, I'm going." Of course, I had no idea WHERE I was going, I was just going.

Continue to Chapter 10

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