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Reply to ShadowgrlAdded to the Roswell Slash Archive December 31, 2000
Disclaimer: I do not own them. Roswell is owned by the WB as are the characters.
Description: Michael, Maria, and Isabel make a decision about Destiny.
Spoilers: Post Destiny. Set over the summer.
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Michael Guerin couldn't sleep. He had not been able to since the night they had used the orbs. The night he, Max, and Isabel had learned their destinies and had their Earth lives shattered. And, most importantly, he had not been able to sleep since he had given Maria up. How could he sleep without his lover in his arms?
Isabel Evans couldn't sleep. That had been happening for awhile now. It was occurring more often now since they had learned of their destinies, but if she was honest with herself her insomnia had started long before that night. It had started the night Liz Parker had been shot and had gotten progressively worse. Isabel knew why. Once Liz had known the truth it was only a matter of time before she found out. Maria DeLuca. Liz's best friend, Michael's on again, off again girlfriend, and the woman Isabel secretly loved and desired.
No, Isabel Evans couldn't sleep and she knew she wouldn't be sleeping for awhile. Because aside from her feelings for Maria there was another problem she had to consider. But not tonight. Tonight she wasn't going to think. She was just going to be numb. Time enough to deal with this tomorrow.
Maria DeLuca couldn't sleep. She was tired; in fact, she was exhausted. But the reason for her sleeplessness was simple. Her boyfriend. If that was what he was. They had never really broken up. He had said he loved her too much to let her be hurt and had walked away. That was the last she had seen of him actually. And Maria was worried about him. He had been through so much already and now he was being told that he had been engineered to save his planet from a race of evil beings. And, oh yeah, the woman you thought was your sister is actually your mate. Maria knew Michael needed her to help him through this but since he was avoiding her it was difficult for her to do that. So Maria helped him another way. She helped Michael by helping Isabel.
Not that she felt forced into doing that. She liked Izzy. She wasn't even jealous about the whole mate thing. Not since the pregnancy scare. She and Michael were much closer than anyone had ever known and Maria knew Michael would never leave her for another woman even if it was Isabel. Now leave her for an intergalactic war; yes he could do that. But not without a fight on his hands. And as soon as she could come up with a plan he was going to realize it. She smiled and fell asleep.
Maria groaned as her alarm woke her up. It couldn't possibly be time to go to work already could it? Rolling over she looked at her alarm. Yep; it was time to get up alright. Maybe if she could get more than 2 or 3 hours of sleep a night getting up wouldn't be so difficult but that was wishful thinking. Maria knew she wouldn't be sleeping the nights through again until Michael was back in her arms and her bed. Well, actually until she was back in his bed. After her mom's reaction last time she found Michael in her room neither of them had been willing to risk being together at her house again. And there had been no need since he had his own apartment.
Isabel couldn't believe she was doing this. She was pacing anxiously back and forth in front of the Crashdown. Maria was late. Isabel knew Maria was scheduled to open this morning and yet the Crashdown was closed and there was no sign of Maria. "No! Isabel muttered. " I refuse to panic. She probably overslept. Nothing is wrong." Still, Isabel had a bad feeling. And it was getting worse.
Michael and Tess made their way to the Crashdown. He was determined not to look like he was avoiding Maria. He was of course but he was tired of doing it. He wanted Maria to be safe and the only way to make sure of that was to be around to make sure she didn't get into trouble. She had a bad habit of doing that. As he and Tess rounded the corner he saw Isabel pacing in front of the doors. That in itself was strange. Isabel did not pace. Pacing implied being worried and Isabel was always very careful to look like she had no worries. Control was important to her. Then there was the fact that she was pacing in front of the Crashdown. The Crashdown that should be open by now. Where was Maria?
As much as Michael dreaded talking to Isabel he needed to know where Maria was. So he forced the dreams and their destiny to the back of his head, gritted his teeth, and stepped up to the plate.
"Hey Isabel" Tess chirped.
She would be happy to see Isabel, Michael thought grumpily. "Hey Tess", a slight pause.
"Michael. Have you seen Maria? She was supposed to open but as you can see she's not here"
"I haven't seen her," Michael said.
"That's a surprise, Isabel muttered. "Tess, have you seen her?
"No but I wasn't really looking for her"
All three of them jumped as the doors to the Crashdown flew open and Maria's head appeared from behind it. "Hey Izzy. I'm sorry I was late. I couldn't seem to get up. I'm having the strangest dreams about. . . Michael. What are you doing here?"
"Can't a guy get something to eat?"
"Yeah whatever. Well, come on in. Oh hi Tess. Izzy join me in back?"
"Well", Tess said, "they're getting awfully chummy"
"Yeah," Michael muttered suspiciously, "chummy."
"Thank God! I thought that class was going to last forever." Maria slung her bag over her shoulder and walked to her locker. It was lunchtime and she was going to sit outside. It was sunny and bright and after her last few nights Maria felt she could definitely use a pick me up in the form of sunshine, fresh air, and the smell of grass. She collected her lunch from her locker and walked outside. She saw Michael right away. He looked right at her; there was no way to avoid him, as he was standing on the stairs. And to top it all off he looked like he wanted to talk to her.
Michael waited for Maria. He wanted to talk to her. She had been acting strange for a few weeks now. He was beginning to get worried. Also, he felt odd seeing Isabel hanging out with Maria. The girl he loved hanging out with the girl he was destined to be with and had erotic dreams about. Of course, he had dreams about Maria too and they were just as intense as his dreams of Isabel but it still felt wrong to be dreaming of Isabel and Maria. "Finally", he thought, as he saw her coming out the doors.
Isabel was happy. It was a bright, sunny day outside. But it was time for lunch. That was something that she was apprehensive about. Lunch meant seeing Michael and that made her jumpy; the dreams were getting more and more intense. More clothes kept disappearing. She was actually nervous about going to sleep. Because if she wasn't dreaming about Michael, she was dreaming about Maria. Once again she gave mental thanks that she was the only one who could dreamwalk. She would hate for Michael to know what she dreamed about, what she longed for in her heart of hearts. On the plus side lunch also meant Maria.
Just then she noticed Maria coming out the doors and Michael waiting for her. Panic rose inside Isabel. Maria had successfully dodged Michael who was now heading towards her and the rest of the gang. Maria was, however, going in the opposite direction. "No!" Isabel screamed mentally. She could not handle Michael alone. Isabel jumped up "Maria", she called out, "Over here". She waved frantically not noticing the look Tess gave her, or the abrupt way Michael stopped and looked at her suspiciously.
Michael paced back and forth in his apartment. Something was not right. Something that was more than the dreams and "Destiny". Something new. And it was happening between Maria and Isabel. Isabel was spending a lot of time with Maria. She had never liked Maria before and Michael was a little worried about what Isabel spending so much time with Maria meant. Something had changed but Michael could not figure it out. Maria wasn't acting any differently, it was all Isabel. He mentally began to list all the un-Isabel like things she had been doing. He was not blind; he knew Maria had been helping Isabel deal with their destinies. He knew Maria was not jealous, that she knew Michael would never willingly be with Isabel. Maria was special and "No Way!!!"
Michael suddenly thought he had a good idea of what Isabel had a problem with. With the increase in their dreams they had also had an increase in their ability to feel what each other was feeling. Michael was not able to control his reaction every time he just thought of Maria. What if Isabel could feel what he was feeling? Embarrassment crawled up his face. That would explain all of Isabel's behavior. Daunting as he found it, Michael knew he had to talk with Isabel about this. The only problem was he didn't know if he wanted to be right and suffer the embarrassment of Isabel knowing how aroused Maria made him, or being wrong and not knowing why Isabel was acting so strange and wondering what was really causing her behavior change.
Maria groaned as she got off the phone. Mr. Parker had just called and told her Julie had called in sick. He had asked if she could possibly come in and cover for Julie until noon. Maria had, of course, said yes. She needed the money and she loved Mr. Parker so naturally, she didn't want to leave him short-staffed. Plus, she knew Michael was working today. She wanted to talk to him about Isabel's strange behavior lately. She didn't want Maria to go anywhere by herself lately. It wasn't like she was a nuisance or anything; Maria loved hanging with Isabel. She always had such interesting opinions. They spent hours arguing and debating the finer points of pretty much anything they could think of. Still, Maria knew this was not Izzy's normal behavior. And since Michael had to work he would not be able to run away from the conversation. Michael would know better than she would if Isabel had been acting strange.
Thinking about Isabel made Maria realize she had not called yet. She usually did. "That's odd. Maybe she's hanging out with Tess." Thinking that, Maria burst into gales of laughter. Isabel didn't trust Tess. She felt Tess had deceived them and duped them, not to mention manipulated them all; but especially Max. That was offense #1 in Isabel's book. You don't mess with Max unless you want Isabel Evans to kick your ass. There was no way Izzy would be with Tess. She probably was still asleep. She'd wander into the Crashdown sometime this morning Maria was sure. So she grabbed her keys and went to save Mr. Parker; completely unaware that in the next half-hour her life was going to change drastically. And once again, aliens would be the reason.
Isabel was not happy. Michael had called at the obscene hour of 5:30 this morning with an ultimatum that she be at the Crashdown at 6:30 sharp. He said they needed to talk. Isabel made a mental list of all the things she was going to yell at him about for waking her up.
And waking her up was the number one transgression. She had been having the most wonderful dream. It had started with her and Maria being together as usual. Then Michael had appeared. Isabel was a little confused about that. She had plenty of dreams about Michael and just as many of Maria, but they had never crossed over like that. The dream had been nice. Everything had felt to right. Like the three of them were meant to be together. "Like that will ever happen," she thought to herself. Michael was in love with Maria and Maria was in love with Michael. There was no room for her. Even if Michael was willing Maria didn't swing that way. Hell, Isabel was still a little surprised she felt that way. Although it was only Maria she was attracted to. No other female had ever interested her. It was always Maria and only Maria. She sighed. She couldn't yell at Michael for interrupting her dream because then he would want to know what she was dreaming about and she certainly wasn't going to tell him it was about her, him and Maria in a threesome; no matter how incredible the dream threesome's antics had been. Nope, that was one conversation she was never going to have. She smiled dreamily as she walked in the Crashdown; her mind replaying the images from her dream. She didn't notice Michael sitting in the booth waiting for her until he grabbed her arms.
Michael frowned. Isabel was standing there with this goofy look on her face. She kinda looked like Max had that night he got drunk 'cause Liz went on a date with some guy. Wait a minute! Izzy looks like Max did. What if she was drunk. It would be like her to try something to see what would happen. She was always so daring; she just hid it better than Michael did. He jumped out of the booth and rushed over to her. She didn't even notice her. Okay, what should I do? Well, maybe I should try and connect with her and see what's wrong. That decided, Michael placed his hands on Isabel's arms. The last thing he expected was to be hit with a flash. And he certainly never expected that flash to contain images of him, Izzy, and MARIA????!!!! Having what appeared to be a great time on a huge king size bed that looked oddly like the one from, as Maria called it, the porno version of Aladdin nookie hotel room.
Maria entered the back door of the Crashdown to Michael's cry of Isabel's name. She frowned as she dropped her purse and hurried towards the door. Michael sounded angry, shocked, and betrayed? That one cry had sent chills down Maria's body. She reached the swing door and started to open it. "Michael I can explain," Isabel whimpered. Oh this was bad. This was really bad. Michael knew about her feelings for Maria and from the look on his face, he wasn't happy about them. Isabel cringed back from Michael's fury.
"You can explain. Well, I sure would like an explanation. Let's hear it, Izzy. Let me hear this great reason you are lusting after my girlfriend."
"She's not your girlfriend" ohhh great comeback Izzy. That'll help your case all right. Isabel mentally smacked herself.
Michael growled and Isabel quailed. "Michael I can't help it. I'm so sorry I never wanted you to find out. Please I am so sorry."
"How long have you been dreaming about Maria? It's because of our dreams isn't it? Because of my connection with her. You can feel what I feel when I see her." Michael sounded resigned. "I knew you had been acting different around Maria I just didn't realize until yesterday that it was because of how I feel about her. I'm sorry Iz. I shouldn't have yelled at you. It's why I called you here actually. To tell you I knew you were sharing my feelings towards Maria because of the bond you and I have."
Yes!! Go with that explanation Isabel. Be smart and DO NOT tell him you were in love with Maria before he even knew she existed. Isabel opened her mouth to agree with him but instead heard herself say, "Actually Michael I have been in love with Maria since we were in sixth grade. I loved her and dreamed about her before you knew she was alive." OH MY GOD!!!! What did I just say? That wasn't what I meant to say!!! I am so dead. Michael is sooo possessive and protective of Maria. He's never gonna get over this! Why doesn't the Earth ever open up and swallow you when you want it to?
"You love her? How can you love her? She's mine."
"Maria is not yours. And she is not mine either. She belongs to herself and how can you ask me why I love her. You love her I would think you would know what is so wonderful about her. Yes, I have dreams of Maria. I have had them for a long time. I can't stop them and I don't want to. I love her and I want to be with her. But, I know she doesn't want to be with me. Not like that. I know I will only ever have her friendship and I am lucky to have even that considering what she knows of our status as mates. Please Michael don't take that away from me. It means so much. You could never know how much it means to be Maria's friend."
"I need to think about this Izzy. I was prepared for the idea that you felt your feelings for Maria change because of our dreams. I never expected you to have your own set of feelings for her".
"Okay. I'll leave and let you think. Please don't be mad at me I never meant you to be hurt. And please don't tell Maria. I never planned on telling her how I felt."
"I won't tell her Isabel. I promise."
As Isabel turned and left Michael sank down on the floor. Neither of them noticed the door behind them swing closed.
Maria jumped as she heard footsteps behind her. "Maria I am so glad you could make it. I am sorry to call you in on your day off."
"That's okay Mr. Parker. I don't mind."
Maria was numb. Michael loved her, that she knew. But Isabel. That was a shock. Maria needed to think about this. But it would have to wait because now she had to work. And most importantly, she had to pretend she had never heard that entire conversation.
Maria had finally been able to go home. She had gotten off work, escaped Liz, who wanted to mope some more about Max, avoided Michael's questioning gaze, ignored Alex's comment about someone being in a major hurry, and brushed past Max barely even noticing he was there. She sat on her bed with the curtains and door closed. The phone was turned off; there was no chance of interruption from the outside world. That was good because Maria had a serious decision to make.
Hours passed and Maria was no closer to a decision than she had been when she first came in. She needed help but talking to Michael was out. A few days ago she would have called Isabel but that probably wouldn't be such a good idea. Liz and Alex were no-go's as was her mother. That left only one person or rather, one alien. With a sigh, Maria got up and began the walk to that alien's house. She just hoped they were home.
She rang the doorbell and the person she needed to talk to answered the door. "I have a problem and I need your help".
She was silently regarded and then the waited for invitation was issued "Come in."
"Thanks. So I guess you're wondering what the problem is."
"It would be good to know the problem if I am supposed to help you with it.". And with that Tess closed the door.
Maria explained everything to Tess. She told her about her and Michael being intimate (NO details though; she was having a hard enough time talking to Tess as it was; she was certainly not going to give her details). Then she told Tess about Isabel's behavior change, which Tess agreed with. She then went on to tell her about the conversation she had overheard between Michael and Isabel that morning.
Tess listened patiently and then asked Maria if she had told her everything.
"Well, there is one more thing. I thought it was nothing but now I'm not so sure."
Tess waited. "The thing is, I know Michael and Isabel's dreams of being with each other haven't stopped."
"Did they tell you that?" Tess asked.
"Um, they kinda didn't have to. See, I've been having the same dreams as they have."
"Yeah. I thought it was just because I was jealous. But then Michael told me I had nothing to worry about. That was when we thought Izzy might be pregnant. I expected the dreams to go away; instead they got more intense. I dream about them every night. Only they're like patterned dreams. One night I dream about Michael and Isabel being together and it feels wrong. The next night I dream about me and Michael being together and that feels wrong too. Then it's Isabel and me. The fourth night I'll dream of all three of us being together. Of all the dreams that one feels the most right. Like it's meant to be. I never said anything about it because I didn't know what to say. It's not exactly something you just bring up. But now with Isabel's feelings and Michael knowing about them; I don't know. I guess when I heard it, something clicked inside of me. It was like something, came together."
Tess sighed. She wasn't really sure what was going on. Nacedo had never said anything other than she was to be with Max and Isabel with Michael. Humans had never come into play. Still, she was not blind. She saw the love between Michael and Maria and had even felt guilty about being part of the reason they broke up. Guilt was a new emotion for her and Tess had discovered she didn't like it. She would help Maria with her problem but first she had to find out how Maria felt about Isabel. And the only way to do that was to ask her.
"If you had a choice could you love Isabel?"
"You don't choose who you love Tess. You just love them. Isabel is my friend. I love her like that. But as something more? I I just don't know. It's not something I ever thought about before the dreams started. Isabel is special to me and I don't want to lose her."
"Well, I guess that's the first step. Before you can decide what to do you need to figure out if Isabel could be more to you than a friend. If she could be a lover too. After you do that you need to tell them that you overheard the conversation and you have something to tell them. It won't be easy but you're the only one who knows if it's worth it to you."
"Thank you for listening Tess. I better go."
Tess thought about what Maria had just said. No one had ever thanked her for anything before. No one had ever asked for her help to solve a problem either. It made Tess feel warm inside. "You're welcome, Maria," she said. And then she did something she had never done before. To a human at least. She smiled; a real smile as she let Maria out and closed the door behind her.
Two weeks had gone by and Maria was no closer to a decision than she had been before. And it was getting harder to pretend that nothing was wrong around Isabel. Tess had not said anything to anyone and Maria was grateful for that. But Tess couldn't tell her what to do. She remembered some advice she had once given Max. She had told him to follow his heart. She had known it was cheesy even before she had said it and now she was finding out it was really hard to follow that advice. Maria's heart was saying she loved both Michael and Isabel and didn't want to lose either of them. If she chose one she knew she would lose the other. And yet, if she chose Michael she would really not have either of them because Michael was still being Mr. Protective saying he couldn't get involved.
Maria made a decision. She decided she was not going to make a decision. She was going to let things happen. Then the dupes came to town. Seeing Isabel and Michael's doubles was, well,freaky. They were so different. And they scared her. Well not Rath he was so clearly under Lonnie's control. Lonnie terrified her. She was cold and hard and manipulative. They told them about some summit meeting and about them maybe being able to go home and the more they spoke the more scared Maria got. Was she going to lose both of them? That possibility had never even occurred to her before. And now that it had she was feeling sick to her stomach. Then the dupes had left taking Max and Tess with them and leaving Ava behind. Michael and Isabel were furious with Max and they had wanted to go after him. It was only some fast-talking from Alex and, surprisingly enough, Kyle that had stopped them. Now things were tense. More tense than they had been in all the time Maria had known the truth about them. Something was going to break and Maria was afraid it would be her. She had to make a decision and fast; before everything spun out of control.
Isabel and Michael walked into the Crashdown. They were worried. Maria had called both of them and asked them to meet her there. She had sounded scared and unsure. Needless to say, both Michael and Isabel had rushed over.
"Hi guys, I'm glad you could make it."
"Maria are you okay? You sounded upset on the phone," Isabel asked. Her friend looked like the end of the world was about to happen.
"I'm fine, Isabel. I've just made a decision and it involves the two of you. I'm not sure how you're going to handle it."
"What kind of decision Maria?" Michael didn't think he was going to like this. He had never seen that look on Maria's face before.
"I guess I should start at the beginning. I overheard your conversation here at the Crashdown a few weeks ago. The conversation where you said you were in love with me Isabel."
Oh no. How could this have happened. It's all over now. I probably disgust her now. Isabel cried inside but her face remained neutral. She was preparing herself for Maria's rejection.
"I'm not going to say I wasn't surprised because I was. I was also confused and scared. But I did a lot of thinking and this is what I came up with. I love Michael. I have for a very long time now. I was having these dreams about him; probably a lot like the ones you have, Izzy."
"I I don't. . . "
"Isabel you don't have to lie. I 'm not angry. I know you are still having them. I know because I am having them too. At first, it freaked me out a little but then I got used to them. Then something happened to throw me off again. I started having dreams about you Isabel. No, please let me finish, Michael. My dreams continued. I would have dreams of Michael, and me then of me and Isabel. Then I started having dreams of the three of us. And it felt right. But I was afraid. I had never felt this way before and it scared me. I was sure you weren't feeling the same way, either of you. So I kept it to myself. Then I heard you fighting. I didn't know what to do. I knew if I had told you I was there, you would have made me choose and I couldn't do that. I didn't want to lose either of you. So I hid that I knew and tried to figure out what to do. I couldn't make a decision so I asked Tess to help me."
"Why Tess?" Michael asked.
"Because she was neutral. She wasn't biased. Liz and Alex, you and Isabel were too involved. My mom doesn't know everything so she couldn't help me. And I wasn't about to have this conversation with Max. So it all came down to Tess. She listened to what I said and that was what I needed. She said she couldn't tell me what to do; that I needed to decide how I felt. Then Lonnie and Rath came. They scared me. Lonnie was so different than you were and I knew she was like that because she didn't really love anyone and no one loved her. I didn't want you too ever be like that Isabel. I wanted you to know you were loved. I just didn't know how to tell you. Then I got an idea and, well, here we are."
"What's your idea,?" Isabel asked in a neutral tone. Hope was growing in her. Maria had said she wanted Isabel to know she was loved. Maria said she didn't want to lose Isabel. Could Maria maybe love her back?
"Well, I thought maybe we could make our dreams a reality. I had a lot of dreams where the three of us were just hanging out. I thought maybe we could start there and see where our feelings take us. I love both of you but my feelings are changing; becoming deeper. I'd like to find out where this could take us if you're willing. I know both of you love me but I don't know how you feel about each other. I mean the dreams are involuntary so I wasn't sure."
Michael sighed. Isabel and Maria had both done their share of reaching out. He figured it was his turn. He turned to Maria. "Maria I love you. So much. I never told you but I am attracted to Isabel. The dreams just made me realize it. I just didn't want you to think that I didn't care about you because I do. I could share you with Isabel and Isabel with you. If you two think you want to I will try."
"Isabel?," Maria asked.
"You already know how I feel about you Maria. I have always loved Michael, and like he said, the dreams made me see that I really love him. I just never thought there could be room for me with the two of you. I am willing to try. But I think we should be together for a while first and not "be" together, you know what I mean?"
"So, we are all agreed." Maria looked around. "We go with the flow. I think it will all work out. I do have one thing to say first though. Part of the reason I had this idea was that I love Michael. But Isabel, I love you too. It took me a long time and a duplicate of you to realize it, but I really do love you. Thank you for opening my eyes to that, even if you did not know I was eavesdropping."
"So, as our first official act of threesomehood should we maybe grab some breakfast? Kinda spend the day together and just talk."
" I think that would be a great idea Michael."
And with that the three linked arms and walked outside ready for the new day.
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