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All About Isabel
Reply to Luv or visit her websiteAdded to the Roswell Slash Archive January 26, 2002
Title: All About Isabel
Disclaimer: I don't own Roswell or the characters. Don't sue.
Summary: Maria reflects on Isabel. Slash overtones and multiple Isabel-ships.
Nobody understands why she left the baby on my doorstep. They aren't privy to such information. She wouldn't want them to know. She wouldn't be able to handle Max's disapproval, Jesse's devastation, Michael's anger or Kyle's heartache.
"She gave Sophia to you? Why? You two aren't even friends." Michael had said. Oh not true, Mikey G.
They think they know her so well but they really don't. Not the way I do. I'm the one who knows her soul.
We were perfect opposites. Her name is synonymous with popularity, mine with unpopularity. All the guys want her, and all the girls want to be her. But I got her.
Our little group is no different. She has us all wrapped around her perfectly manicured fingers. Isabel no more than bats her eyelashes and we all fall under her spell.
Max is her protector and best friend. He'd die or kill for her without a second thought. Although I forget they are brother and sister sometimes. He's too tender with her. He'll caress her arm or touch her hair and I have to look away. As if otherwise I'm invading a personal moment only meant for them two.
Liz is both afraid and jealous of Isabel yet has this immense respect for her. It's the power Isabel exudes. If Isabel said jump Liz would say how high. That's just how it works. Maybe if Isabel weren't so darn tall she'd be less intimidating. Of course that's just another thing Isabel has in her favor. And - it doesn't hurt that she's beautiful. There's something about pouting red lips that makes it impossible to say no to her.
Michael and Isabel have a harder relationship to define. Now this is a sensitive area for me. Michael is - was - my boyfriend and I love him very much. But I'd have to be deaf, dumb, blind and just plain stupid not to see the something between them. They shared a past, are now sharing a present, and they will share a future. It was destined. They are so similar with their thick skulls and quick tempers, which undoubtedly are the result of hot alien blood coursing through their veins.
Don't even get me started on Kyle. He's ass backwards in love with her. I see it in his face every time he's within a ten-mile radius of her. If Isabel were a religion, he would gladly give up Buddhism to worship at her altar. Kyle's her rock, her loyal companion, and her crying shoulder. He holds her and kisses her brow and whispers in her ear how Buddha insists everything will be all right. And she soaks it up like a sponge in water.
I used to wonder who else besides me she was sleeping with. I asked her once and she cryptically responded "I'll never tell." I took that to mean, "there are many others." I was right. I read her very well. She pretends I can't. She wants to be an enigma. It makes her feel more secure.
Which is why she ran from me. I know her inside and out. She hated the power that gave me. Isabel likes to be the one in charge. Everything must go her way.
Therefore when she got pregnant, as the saying goes, the shit hit the fan.
Isabel told me about the baby one cold January morning. I was in bed sleeping when she climbed in with me. She wrapped her arms around me and whispered, "I'm pregnant." I felt the tears soaking the back of my nightgown. "What do I do? I have no idea who the father is Maria."
It's not hard to figure out who "donated the sperm" now. The baby looks exactly like her father with spiky hair, an adorable smirk, an insatiable appetite etc.
Isabel had cheated on her husband and was having another man's baby. Well technically, my quasi-girlfriend was having my ex-boyfriend's baby. How Jerry Springer.
This is where I get a little selfish. See I was actually, kinda, sorta glad this happened. Isabel married Jesse and it was fine. She and I weren't long term; we discussed that at nauseum. Of course I wasn't thrilled but ultimately it wasn't my decision. Isabel said she loved him. I truly think she did. Isabel just couldn't get us out of her system. Kyle, Max, Michael, Liz, me. We were her downfall. Or more poetically, loving us was her downfall.
Jesse left town right after Sophia was born. I always thought him a rather stupid man, but I have to give him credit - he figured out very quickly that she wasn't his daughter. I think the annulment was the final straw for my Isabel. She freaked. Not even I could calm her. It was the beginning of the end.
That's why I wasn't surprised to find Sophia's car seat on my doorstep one day after school with a note.
Take care of my baby. I know she'll be safe with you. Don't let Michael spoil her rotten. I love you, all.
I like to believe she's going to come back. I can't predict the future, but I don't see mine being completely void of her presence forever. I had no problem sharing her with the others but being without her altogether is painful.
I miss her. She misses me too. I'm sure of it. She dream walked me last week. I didn't actually see Isabel, but for a second I felt her there. She hasn't visited anyone else but that's not surprising.
When Jesse left I asked her to reevaluate our relationship. The next day she left. I'm pretty sure the one is related to the other. I scared her with talks of the future. She was so ashamed that her marriage fell apart, and that it was all her fault. I joked and told her everything would have been fine if she had just kept "it" in her pants. It was our little joke. I always said she was the dominant one in the relationship. But she didn't seem to find it amusing that day.
Though even after everything, she came back in my dreams to check up on me. We never were able to stay away from each other for too long.
I never asked under what circumstances she slept with Michael. The truth is I don't care. I probably should but I learned a long time ago not to question why Isabel does what she does.
So for now I'm going through the motions. Taking care of Sophia is my life. I've moved into Michael's apartment and am raising her there, for now.
If it was Isabel's love for us that drove her away, won't that same love bring her back? I like to think so. In fact, I've set my heart on it.
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