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Beloved Unloved 7: Weird

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Added to the Roswell Slash Archive June 30, 2002

Author: DMartinez
Email: shockerdm@icqmail.com
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Metz, Katims and UPN. No infringement intended.
Summary: Short and bittersweet. As always Michael POV. Max and Michael go all the way.
Rating: R/NC-17ish



        Weird.

        I feel weird. Max is right up against me, asleep. He's holding me so tight. His face is pressed against my shoulder, his breath on my back, his arm under mine and against my chest, his now limp dick nestled against my ass... where his seed is drying.

        At the time, I thought this was what I wanted... for Max to make love to me.

        We took every precaution we could think of. We read up, looked up, talked about mechanics, invested in 'reliable' lubricants. We wanted it to be perfect, no worries... and there weren't any when we finally did it.

        It felt... odd. Good but weird. He was as gentle, if not more so, than he is with Liz. I just don't know what's going on with me.

        It's just that now... I feel weird.

        Liz didn't come by. She doesn't know if she's ready to observe... that. She must have known how weird it would be.

        Kissing we can handle. Blowjobs, we all give them. Oral sex is something we're working on for Liz. Liz is do-able for both me and Max, obviously. H

--

, I can't say it, it sounds too weird. Max and I thought we were ready.

        I really thought I was.

       

--

        I feel weird. Maria is squeezing me to death in her sleep. I... we had sex. Alright sex but she's not Max and definitely not Liz.

        She doesn't know about our threesome and she doesn't suspect or else I don't think I would have made it through her window.

        I tried to fix it. The weird feeling. I figured if I slept with a girl that wasn't Liz, that I'd feel better.

        I had trouble getting it up. Maria did most of the work the first time. She thought I was nervous about 'our first time'. I didn't correct her. I... had to keep my eyes closed. I am such an asshole.

        The second time... I couldn't look at her. I am such an asshole. I took her from behind and I pretended, shit, she was Liz. Asshole.

        When it was all over, she said she loved me. I am such a dickhead. I couldn't say it cause I don't. I just said, 'Ditto.'

        We're in her bed. I couldn't bring Maria to my bed. Why? Because this is so wrong.

        How in the hell am I going to face Max and Liz with this on my conscience? Shit, I want to cry. I cheated on them.

        Nothing changes how weird I feel right now. Guess it's what I get, thinking I could fix it. I have to get out of here. This is all wrong.

        Maria's eyes and hair are the wrong color, her skin the wrong shade, her breasts the wrong size... maybe she's even the wrong sex.

        I shouldn't have done this... and I can't not tell them what I did.

        But do I tell them why?

Continue to part 8

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