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Ava, Chapter 52: Ava
Reply to AlsikePosted to Fanfiction.net June 27, 2004
Tess whirled looking for someone who she could dominate with her words. Liz had broken free from her spider webs. She found me. Why is she so angry? What does she want? I stepped forward, "Tess I barely started before her eyes lit up in glee.
"So, how are things going, my little duplicate? How is life with your girlfriend?
"She's a friend, Tess, please
"Please what, should I not tell her about certain things?
"More than most, more than you.
"Well, we never really had the chance to talk.
"No, but you never talk to people, not really, couldn't you stop fighting everything for once? What do you want Tess? What are you searching for?
"You're not as good at this as I am.
"Because people aren't afraid of me? It's so much easier to believe someone you trust.
"Why do people trust you? You're just like me. You have the same power that I do, the same ability to pervert people's minds, and you grew up in a hell hole. Why should you have people's trust? Are you better at the touch up than I am? Can you stroke people's minds, painting trust on their malleable canvas?
"No? I almost never use it! I'm not like you, Tess. I don't have the right to interfere in people's heads.
"If you have the power, you have the right.
She's wrong. Everyone knows she's wrong. But I can see the doubt in their eyes. Everyone here has tasted the power, only Tess ignores the bitter flavor of the consequences.
"Why do you think you ended up like this? Why do you think you're here, begging for our help, because that's what you're doing even if you don't know it? Mindwarping wears off, and if you want to find a place, a home, you can't manipulate it with temporary powers. You never learned that it was temporary. I learned with the first beating, when it wore off of Rath. I would have died if I kept trying to manipulate people with my powers. Our power is just as dangerous as everyone else's, more so. Who do you want to be, Tess? You have to be who you want to be, and then it will be real, not just a game.
"Who did you decide to be? What got you this?
"I became who I was, unashamed of my past, but I did my best to wipe away how it had affected me. I don't want to be weak and easily manipulated by anyone who decides to try, and I never will be again. I make decisions for myself.
"But how do you break free of who you were. I know how you did it, by running away. But I don't want to run away.
"You must step on your pride.
"My pride is the only thing I have.
"And it's worthless.
Tess was listening to me, listening to herself maybe. I don't know if I was right or wrong, but I look at her and I think of her as my little sister, too tough for her own good, who needs help and I'm the only one who can tell her what she should do; the only one she'll listen to.
"So, who wants Chinese for lunch? Phoebe managed to break in.
"Pot-stickers!" exclaimed Maria.
"Am I invited?" asked Tess.
"Sure, can I get a donation of eight dollars from all present?
I don't think Tess is going to take to not using her powers easily, but sometimes its hard for me to remember that I have them. I can't use them freely. I know the rules. I'm not sure if she even wants to try. But I think that she's sick of futilely fighting for something she's not sure she wants, but knows she can never have. And I really cannot wait until all the alien drama moves out of my life and I can get of with figuring myself out. I'm having enough trouble as it is. We said that we'd be friends, but I don't know if that's going to work. Neither of us are expecting it to work for long, but I just have to get everything organized. Once everything is organized things will start falling into place.
Continue to Chapter 53
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