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Butterfly Dreams, Part One
Reply to AlerionPosted to the rwguiltypleasures mailing list July 13, 2001
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Katims and Metz, et al. I own nothing. No alien, copywrite or intellectual property was harmed in the making of this text.
Thanks: Thank you, Dan and John, for beta-reading this stuff. It was a huge help.
Feedback: Yep. Please, the more the merrier. Be gentle, it is my first try (Fangst does not really count).
3 weeks after the events in The Departure. I know roughly where this piece is going, There will be a lot more chapters.
Isabel and Liz sit in the Crashdown. Their untouched coffee goes stale while they talk. Worry makes their faces taut.
'What is he doing, Iz?'
'Nothing, just staring at the wall,' Isabel said. She looked directly at Liz, and asked 'Just what did you say to Max anyway? He hasn't left his room in three days.'
Liz drops her eyes away from Isabel, hesitates, then whispers: 'I can't be with him anymore, Isabel, ever. I have to take a step back.'
'Liz, why did you push him towards her.'
'Another Max, from the future, used the Granolith to come through time to warn me.'
Liz is startled for a moment, a moment that stretches out moment before she asks: 'When was this, Liz?'
'Just before I made him think I was sleeping with Kyle. I couldn't ell anyone.'
'That was weird.' Concern enters Isabel's voice. She rests her hand on Liz' wrist. 'That wasn't your style.'
'Future Max asked me to...' Tears ride the edge of Liz' voice. 'ordered me to... He told me I had to make Max fall in love with Tess. He said we'd all die if Tess left Roswell. Now I don't know if he was real or just another trick by Tess.'
'Liz,' Isabel whispers, leaning forward 'he won't see anyone. Michael tried to go in and Max blocked the door with a forcefield. I'm scared. He's never done this.'
Liz toys with a spoon before she whispers: 'I don't know what to do. I don't know who could help.'
':iz, r have to do something.'
'Kyle. Remember the night Kyle got him drunk? Max went crazy when I entered that radio contest. Could you ask Kyle to talk to him?'
Max is sprawled facedown across his bed. When he hears Isabel asking to come in he does not answer. When someone tries the lock he flings out a hand, palm towards the door. The forcefield glimmers green against the darkness in his room.
'Kyle needs to talk with you, Max.'
'Evans, let me in.'
'Leave me alone, Kyle.'
'Evans are you going crazy on us?'
Max turns on his side, face away from the door. The amber eyes are blank. After a time the knocking goes away.
Max dials, slams the phone down when it rings, then dials again. 'Kyle, we have to talk. Now.' Max's voice breaks. He holds the phone at arm's length. He does not want Kyle to hear the tremor in his voice.'
'Max, just wait there. I'll pick you up as soon as I can. 10 minutes.'
'Can you be on your own?'
'Just me. Promise.'
Max is waiting outside when Kyle pulls up at his house. Isabel is a distant shadow at the door.
Kyle reaches over and shoves the passenger door open. 'Okay, Evans, where do you want to go?' Kyle passes him a beer.
'Damn it I'm sitting on something.' Max drags a worn paperback from his seat. He looks at the beer in his hand. 'You know what happens when I drink.'
'Yep, I do' Kyle grinned. 'You drop all of those inhibitions for a while, and the real Max gets out.'
'I'm not sure...'
'Just drink the damn beer, for God's sake.'
'Okay' Max opens the beer and takes some. He looks uncertain. 'What's the book anyway?' Max hiccups and sniggers. 'For a jock you read some weird stuff. Zhuang Zhou?'
Kyle smirks when Max mumbles the strange name. 'Hey, don't mangle the guy's name. Like I need an alien king to tell me what's weird, right?' Kyle grins. 'Hey, Evans, tell me why you'll only talk to me.'
'You saved my life. Isabel's. Michael's. You broke Tess' mindwarp.'
'I'm a jock, Max.'
'No you're not. You're a nice jock. You're the strongest jock I know.'
'You're fast getting to be the drunkest alien I know. You didn't say where we're going.'
'Anywhere. Out of town. Anywhere but the cave.' Max waves his hand out the window. He holds his hand outside the car, feeling the air stream over it.
'Okay, I'll find anywhere.'
The streets drop away behind them. The town lights give way to the desert's clean darkness. They have the road to themselves. Kyle turns off 380 and follows a side road for a while. 'Here is probably as good as anywhere, Max. Do you want to get out?'
Max drains the last of the beer and looks around a little vaguely. 'Let's walk. Okay. Where's here?'
'You tell me, Max.' Kyle pulls the other boy round to face him. 'What's going on with you?'
'Nothing,' Max mumbles. 'Too drunk. Wrong time. I want to race.'
Kyle grins as he takes the bottle from Max. 'Maybe this drinking thing is working too well.'
'Kyle, I want to race.'
'You owe me, Evans. Last time we raced you cheated. Do you see that big square rock? I'll beat you to it. On your mark... Get set! Go!'
'Not fair, Valenti. You got me drunk first.'
Max feels good, even with the beer in him. Max sprints hard and fast for the rock. He looks over his shoulder for Kyle and speeds up when he doesn't see him. He sees the rock close in front of him, leans forward to be first to touch it. Max leans on the rock with both hands, panting, head down, waiting for Kyle.
'Max?' Kyle's breathing has gone ragged, a harsh sound in the desert quiet. He tries to keep the wince out of his voice.
'Where are you?
'I fell down this fucking ravine. Shit my leg hurts. I think its broken. I cut my wrist on the bottle when I dropped it.'
Max is beside him.
'Evans, you were 20 yards away how'd you get down here so fast?
Max shrugs: 'I have this ladder you can't see, remember.'
'You're way too drunk to trust with the Mustang and I can't walk.'
'You know I can help, Kyle.'
Kyle's teeth are clenched. The agony hammers into his body. 'Help me Obi-wan.' He smiles feebly. 'Our messed-up souls have to touch again, right?.'
'Your soul isn't messed up.'
'My soul helped kill Alex. That's pretty messed up, Max. Bad, bad karma.'
'That wasn't you, Kyle. That was my fault. You saved my life. I have to fix your leg.'
Max lies down beside Kyle, leans over him, looks down into the blue eyes clouded by pain. Reaches for the bleeding wrist, shivers when they touch.
To Kyle the first touch is a feather, then heat blasts through his arm when Max closes the gash in his wrist. The fire surges in Kyle's body. He glances up at the night sky. He feels Max lying beside him, Max's hand on his leg, just above his knee, feeling for the break. Kyle feels the link erupt between them. 'Doesn't count' he mutters to himself, 'Just a broken leg. Still one even in the life stakes.'
Max slumps onto Kyle's body, their eyes lock together in the dark.
Flash Sunlight streams down on them. An empty football stadium. 'Man,' Kyle giggles, 'you are one heavy alien. Do you always have to be on top?'
Max looks up into bronze eyes molten with longing.
Flash Looks down into pale blue eyes. Max knows their lips are almost touching.
Flash Darkness. The desert. Cool breeze playing over their bodies.
Flash Blue sky world. Grass. The sound of water somewhere nearby.
Their lips meet. It shocks them both. Max does not expect the hand running through his hair. 'Hey Max, bet you try kissing everyone you fix?' They sink into the kiss. Max trembles.
Flash 'Hey'. Alex's voice. Neither boy is surprised. Later they will remember how calm they feel. Alex reaches down, takes their hands, hauls them up, leans in close, all three faces touching. Kyle's leg feels weird, shaky.
'Uh, are you real?' Kyle asks Alex, wondering at his own calm.
'Sometimes. When you saw me in the mirror.'
Max' smile dies. 'Alex' he says 'we're all so sorry. Its our fault that...'
Kyle whispers 'Alex, I didn't...'
Alex smiles and shakes his head. 'I know. You're not Tess. Tell the others.'
'Where are you now, Alex?' Max asks 'is there a way back?'
Flash A road somewhere. They're alone. 'Hey, Max' Kyle wonders 'where's all this coming from? The stadium was me, right?'
Flash The two boys float in darkness. Bands of rainbow light flare, flicker - head to head, throat to throat, chest to chest, navel to navel, groin to groin. Kyle stretches out on the ground. Max drops down beside him, his head in Kyle's lap. He looks at Kyle's face.
'Well this is weird, Max. What are these things?' Kyle chops his hand through the shimmer between them.
'I don't know.'
'Didn't this happen with Liz?'
'Not like this.'
'Max, I think that was really Alex. He felt the way he did in her room.' Kyle looks down at his hand suddenly. 'Shit, Max, its gone silver.' He sketches a silver K in the air between them. 'Could we try for a beach or somewhere normal. Please?'
'Kyle, I think I looked through your eyes, back there.'
'My leg feels fine now but you've made my hand silver.'
'I didn't, Kyle, I swear. I'd know.'
'Beach, think beach, starboy.'
Flash A beach beside a lake. Night-time.
'Do aliens always just do it in their heads?'
Max pulls Kyle down on top of him, arms tight round Kyle's shoulders. 'Kiss me again and see.'
Flash Kyle feels more naked than ever in his life. Kissing Max is so sweet it almost hurts.
'Max, I could get used to this. Don't leave for a long time.'
The answer is whispered. 'Kyle, I don't think I could leave you ever.'
'You don't have to say that. Yet.'
'What do you mean?'
'Sometimes it's been hard for me to even like you much.'
'Yeah. First you took Liz and then you took my dad.'
'Starboy, if there had been anyone for me to take from you, I would have done it right back.'
'No, you wouldn't.'
'Max, I was really angry. There never was anyone for you was there?'
The dark bronze eyes slam shut.
'You know that night Liz handed you over...'
Kyle puts his arms round Max. His hand is soft on the back of Max' neck. 'Yeah, her.' The touch, forehead to forehead. 'You thought she would give you to someone else, didn't you.'
'I won't. Ever. Tell me forever if that's what you feel. Don't say it because you're scared of me.'
Between hiccups, Max murmurs: 'Please, Kyle. I need you.'
'Hey, you know how the script runs. The alien always gets the quarterback, starboy. I guess this makes me some kind of alien queen, right?'
'Don't go there, Kyle' Max pleads.
Kyle reaches down to Max' shirt, undoing the buttons, traces a K across Max' chest. Kyle brushes the silver hand to Max' cheek. Max trembles at his touch. The tremors go on and on. Kyle feels tears on Max' face. He takes Max' hand, feels the other boy's grip tighten to the edge of pain.
'Hey guy, its allright. Tell me.' Kyle strokes Max' hair again.
'Everything broke apart, Kyle. You didn't. Your arms feel safe.'
'Must be all that working out.'
Max answers so softly Kyle wonders if he hears or just senses it through their link. 'Kyle, she raped my soul and before that Pierce...'
'Pierce hurt you didn't he?'
Max nods slowly. 'You knew?'
'From when I got shot. Man that felt weird. You were all smashed up inside and trying to make me think you were fine.'
'Tess took the things Pierce did and...' Max' teeth and fists clench before he gets it out '...used them against me.' His muscles are hard ridges pressed against Kyle.
'Hang in there, starboy. Slow down. Just breathe. Real slow. Open your eyes, look at me.' Kyle brushes his hand over Max' forehead. 'We can talk it out if you want...'
Max shakes his head. 'Not talking' he breathes hoarsely 'more kissing.' His voice trails away. He trembles again. 'I need you. You're strong enough to break a mindwarp. You're strong enough for me to trust the soul link. There's a solid core in you Tess could never touch.'
'You'll say anything to get kissed, Evans.'
'Did it work?'
Max' kiss is hard and urgent. His hands slide down Kyle's back The two boys roll across the rough ground.
'Kyle you're really hard.'
'Is real Max coming out to me again?'
'Maybe.' Max' teeth flash in the dark when he half-smiles. 'I wanted to, that first time we got drunk. When Liz went on the blind date.'
'I know, Max. I wanted you too. But you were with Liz...'
'I thought if I said anything you'd...'
Kyle laughs for the first time, low in his throat. He is pleased by the hint of a smile from Max. 'I guess that makes us a pair of gay losers.' They stare at each other in the night, faces inches from each other, bodies pressed together. The rock they sit on is still hot from the day. Air whispers on their faces, beginning of a breeze. Max opens his mouth.
Kyle turns on his side, his head on his elbow, twists a leg around Max. Kyle lifts the other boys' head, moves over, tongue going deep inside Max, drinking in Max' taste, his smell, the feel of his hard body, the feather touch of Max' awareness of him.
Flash Light shimmers round them, brighter than the moon. Kyle feels himself kissing Max, feels Max being kissed. Feels fear almost at the intensity.
'Fuck' Kyle breathes when they finally break apart again.
'Tell me something from your book.'
'Zhuang Zhou slept beside a river and dreamt he was a butterfly. After waking, he never again knew if he was a man dreaming a butterfly or a butterfly dreaming a man. Weird, huh, Evans? That's us.'
'After Tess, nothing feels real any more. Except you. I thought I had you out of my head until you got shot.'
'Shhhh... You talk too much, starboy.' Then Kyle seals Max' mouth with his own and they lose themselves to each other again. Kyle fumbles with their jeans while they kiss until their clothes are a heap beside them. Kyle's hand slides down the smooth chest, takes hold of Max, closes round him like a vice. Max gasps at the touch (eyes closed, head thrown back) writhes against Kyle.
'Fuck, you feel good, Kyle. I'm really close.'
Kyle's teeth walk along Max' shoulder, neck, earlobe. He whispers.'Come for me, starboy.'
'What about you?
Max moans into Kyle's neck, finds a nipple and sucks hard, feels Kyle's presence in his mind, wants him with all his body. Max feels all his muscles tensing, back arching, feels Kyle's mouth invading his again. Light explodes against his eyes. His heart is a drumbeat.
Kyle kisses into the piston drive of Max' climax. They tremble against each other. They lie there silent a long time, fingers intertwined, kissing, the frayed rhythm of their breathing drifting towards normal.
Kyle looks at his hand. 'Hey, starboy, I'm not silver any more but I've got alien all over my hand.' Max tighten his fingers round Kyle's hand.
'Starboy?' Kyle whispers into Max' neck
'Think I can get you into the cheerleaders squad?' Kyle rolls away from the punch to his chest. They both laugh. Kyle ties to find a smooth spot in the rough ground. 'We should go to sleep for a while, Max. Next time you want to seduce me could you bring a blanket.'
'Kyle, I just wanted to talk, maybe ask you about meditation.'
'Starboy, its really scary you can look that innocent when you're lying.'
Continue to Part Two
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